Time To Get Back Up Again

I think all my fault srry D. Somthing about being logged in on more than one device. Not sure. Is OK ... the world is still spinning :) Go to run and put my car in for a change of tyres. Like hospitals, I do not trust those places.

Went for a brisk walk this morning. Mission accomplished. :)

The latest book I am observing is called . Eating Less, Say Goodbye To Overeating'
Here is an overview

I can't eat when I am hungry. - Not until I am in tune and have control of my addiction. The good news it I am slowly getting a hold of my next comeback. My previous mindset with 'No More Comebacks' I now scrunch of and throw in the bin. I sing another tune : )

https://upliftconnect.com/why-were-a...re-of-addicts/

Good read, although I extend the dynamics within the context of culture used in that article, beyond the atypical family environment to the 'by-product' which our society is responsible for. More over how our society regiments humans in general as more the primary issue with respect to abuse point blank. How do we accept this culture and learn to live with it? How do we endure it?

I uninstalled a game I compulsively play today. What triggered it was the toxic atmosphere at the Blizzard Forum and since uninstalling, I feel like my burden has lightened significantly. Both the compulsive playing and the toxic people. I spent a few hours cleaning one particular window. It was a big job because one of the windows needed pulling out, the sills cleaning and the wooden blinds also in need of a good vacuum and wipe. Huge job to do the hole house. There is quite a bit a round the place that needs doing. I'll work on it little by little.

I've also uninstalled games for the same reason, can always put em back after a little break. Just don't do what I did and uninstall the store app because I had to go through hell to get it back on win 10.

I've been walking every day too. Some days it helps.. but, some days I carry along the negativity on the walk and further beat myself up without any help from people. Still think its good to get out of the house because the walls start to close in. Need to get started on cleaning here as well. Honestly can't keep blaming the holidays, although valentines day is around the corner and it makes me sad.

Hard to avoid toxic people these days. Ever notice people have that look on their face all the time now, makes my trust in people even more difficult. For now, just me is all I can handle.

Anyway, I know I wasn't much help but I care and hope things stop spinning for you and you get settled again. You will :)

PS ~ I also have little trust in hospitals which is partly why I fight it so hard; going inpatient.

Hell Sal. I say it like it is because sometimes we have to hear it. I read your other thread however was unable to respond. Is OK ... I get that although is hard for me to bite my tongue! :) I'll just say here and now because I think we need to hear it, that the only people that can help us; is ourselves. That said, some people make better guides that others and with respect to those revered 'text books' they are not only limited, but fallible because of the rigidity placed on said text. Just like the would be aspiring and well meaning professionals, the collection of characters that make up the text - imo - should be seen as no more than guides themselves; not religious text. Point and Case is that we are the ones that can only help ourselves. Sadly many paid helpers out there are too invested in all that time and effort they put in with their educating. They are unable to operate outside that box, nor their own limited experience. No matter how well meaning, in such cases it is best to change helpers and make sure to only see them as guide where you are the one who make choices. Don't beleive everything they say. Understand that they do not always know and often make mistakes. The good ones know this to be true for themselves and are not afraid to let you know. They can only do so much - in the end it is up to us.

Changing therapists a lot also showed me just how much I was blinding myself so that despite the facts re would be professionals above, I was more the issues and not my therapist. It's just easy to blame others - especially those that unwittingly prod us. Some people like to be prodded and many therapists use that tact. In my case, I automatically move on from such clinical types ... but still stand by my point where in the early stages of therapy, I am often blinded by my own feelings, bias and so on. Don't get me wrong ... change therapist if you think they are not able to understand or respect you ... how you want to be heard or approached. There are some fairly toxic practices out there that we are better off without. Just be sure why it is your want help, why your going, what it is and how you wish to be helped ... but more over understand that none of these would be professionals have the power to solve another's issues. I does not work like that. They are nothing but guide.

Sadly it does not help that many of these therapists and doctors sell themselves as Miracle Workers and that many of us buy into that crap. (Spiritual teachers also sell themselves like that and followers lap it up [we still have the 60s flower power reliving itself and it always will [yet different culture]) That there is the first problem most people face with Psychotherapy; as in their expectations. They think the therapist and doctor is there to save them. It don't work like that. If you think like that you will remain sick ... which of course is perfect for a perpetual system.
_____________

To be sure it's a little more complex than that ... as sure, we can help each other through lending an ear or in some cases even picking up the slack. In many cases a lot of us will enjoy taking an easy ride and unwittingly allow ourselves to become reliant by way of continually complaining and letting others do all the work where we start to bitch and moan about others when we are seemingly unable to reach or remain stable.
______________________________________

BLA BAL BLA AND BLA
Disclaimer → I get a lot out of Psychotherapy! I have a good understanding of how it works and why and what I want ... despite my apparent and certified permanent condition which is up for debate in another thread.


Then for those of us that understand all this very well ... we instead beat ourselves up.http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/rolling.gif Try not to do that. http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/angry/bang-head-on-wall.gif
_________

I am glad you checked in. Keep posting man. Sorry if my response seems over the top.


ABOUT THE NEGATIVITY ... I hear ya on that. I have been looking into the spiritual side of things with some interesting results re dark energy / entities. I would do well to write about that. More so how we seek to romance/stories and how in that we externalize and once again in the doing of that ... purposefully avoid seeing what already exist within. Yet more complex stuff as one could say it was implanted or received via environment, regardless of those dark feelings now residing withing ... encapsulating who we thing we really be / who is who within that state of being and yadda yadda and more yadda. Blaming and Shaming - Shaming being our societies number one source of driving and thriving towards a so called successful value systems based on anything but human feeling ... YET ... the battery power of worship does play into it's politics regardless of those who claim not to be sheep. Indeed .. no wonder we are all truly fucked up.

The internet/you tube where once it helped, is now a fucking hard task to make sense of it all. (srry that fact is frustrating me is all) That said ... I aslo hold my own state to be as much a blindfold as I eluded with the therapy ramblings above.

I go for a walk and think more on those states of negativity and why I even bothered taking on the romance of all those youtube stories/experiences. How to decipher??? Within the whimsical, fads, phonies, and sales pitches ... is a lot of truth to be had. I find myself going back to a lot of far out perplexity text. The Irony abounds. I put aside the insanity for a minute and thought It prudent to go check in with a Buddhist Forum - but my forum sign up application was rejected. They instead refereed me to a number of other communities. Although I am now over the knee jerk reaction that comes with such rejection, I still think it's very sad how the way such teachings have been regulated. Everything has been made into a religion.

Not to worry - I get it for the most part. I checked out the referrals and saw mostly sheep. Eastern philosophy as good as it once was ... and still could be ... is just as much a part of the market place as anything else. I don't by into the whole thing eastern countries wanting it to be a secret ... yet I can see how different cultures molest it kind of thing. Is what it is. Just another branch as twisted as sourcing information on the corrupted world wide web. There is still good info out there, yet the need to find it is not necessarily helpful as one might think ... It is said we already have the knowledge within us and that all this BS seeking and thriving is in fact holding us back. That being another tangent.

I go for that walk. :)

fantastic post, a apropos the dark entity, they or it is attracted to dark energy to the darkness in us
The work is to keep it in balance, which is very difficult to do in our world, To much negativity everywhere all around us, No doubts sensitive people pick it up.
My experience is from time when I was doing readings like everyday. It makes one super sensitive to the energies.
I had customers that even they said anything i knew it, I knew that something happened to other people they caused, Had it so many times..........

One motivation to get well, is feeling sick of feeling sick. Letting go is more appropriate for my style o healing ... not trying to fight or hold on. Perhaps an avenue for others to think on when continually struggling does not seem to help. That kind of acceptance does not mean giving up, however there is an element of giving in. More so to self rather than anything else. All the voices in our head need not be spawn from wondrous tales of this or that existence ... nor schizophrenia - just different versions of our self. I laugh at the latter as - as crazy at that sounds, it actually makes a lot more sense to me and a hell of a lot less scary. Of course scary sells.

But on the other side the coin ... perhaps it's just a cop out to think in ways that scare us less. Much easier to create one's own religion. Is there anything wrong with that. I guess if it's not hurting or imposing itself on others but what relgion does not? I can see were a little dogmatic thinking helps to navigate this world of addiction, but sadly the thinking and preaching typically involved, tends to consume itself. Science is it's own religion and sadly it's becoming more and more of the negative kind - eastern philosophy no more than a fad for mental masturbation and then there is the well being crowed whose most major PTSD issue relates to not enough money or satisfactory status. This being most of the BS that abounds. I am still a member of Gaia TV - There is much the same BS on it, but every and now and then there is something to be gleaned. I still question whether is is worth it when considering the amount of garbage you have to sift through in order to find something of worth. The latter being more of the 'Well Being Crowed' where money is the sole gauge of ones worth ... ones enlightenment. Less of course your into the alien conspiracies ... that one is less judgmental, less discriminatory and open to all sorts.

So whats that answer ... where to look? Any Ideas?

Start one's own cult?

Remember ... or did I say anything about the hospital nurse that allegedly sexually assaulted my daughter after she willingly went there to go see them in order to get some help? Lets just say they way they dealt with that, regardless of other women coming forward on social media has just resulted in me having to break into my daughters house and call an ambulance. Keeping context to how the shame in our society is manifested and how that in turn isolates and leads so many of us into self destructive ways ... is a hard task. I wonder if I should even try. Thankfully they took her to another hospital this time.

Yet another thing I have to let go of and focus on that which I can control. Given the nature of the back story ... it was a hard call to make. Is hard to think of her in that place I hate. Best way I can see it, if she also does not like being in those places, she too will have to make changes that only she can make. Hard Core Acceptance - Accepting what is, even though you know it's %$#@ed!

The drama never ends.

Srr D just reading now ... I missed you post because I was somewhat consumed with the episode I just posted above ... I will make cuppa and read you now. My bad.

I answered on fb not visiting it so this is why. I am so sorry she has to go through it, Of course my sorries are not needed, they change nothing
I have no idea what to do in your situation. You know we are so upset these days, till we get all test done. My heart breaks every time I look at him. The lack of information does not do good for my anxiety.
I do not know if you remember i had worked in nursing home for 7 years, at the time I had not much English, not enough to convinced authorities, that abuse is a everyday life in there. I tried to tell one of the bosses, but it had not worked, I do believe residents are abused there on daily bases. eh , ethics are on decline in our world

Hopefully the results will be as downplayed as mine. I still don't know until results after my operation but not much I can do about that. Given the episode as I lightly touched upon in previous post, I kind of care less. All my attention in on the little one right now. I am please to say we are all in a good spot as far as that goes. Although is hard to ponder that issue when considering where that may or may not go.

I hurt my neck once more climbing through the window and straddling a chest of draws when breaking into my daughters house. Thank goodness for your recommendation of the ice pack. I have started using again with good affect. :)

Re the abuse - it goes on outside those facilities as well. In all the most well to do families and organisations in fact. It's even prevalent in private institutions now. Mostly always has.

What to do ... It's just a hard lesson many of us have to bare. yes ... do what we can do to find peace and all that, however suffering is something we just can't escape. Heaps of uncertainty all the way. Right now I just do the best I can do for my grandson. That is all that matters to me. I wish I could do more for me daughter, but did all I could last night. It was a hard call. Now it's out of my hands.

Isolation is a tough one. Sadly the laws that are suppose to provide peace and protect, do more to isolate and separate. (Privy BS) Indeed it was very hard to call upon the same system that I fear myself - lets hope she does not get inappropriately dealt with by a male nurse or any nurse for that matter.

Anyways ... I not focus on that shit too much. Lets see how the system conduct itself when they land on my door with their questions, implications and directions. Still a long road to travel. It will be in this case for the next 15 years to say the least. Perhaps when I am 65 it might get better. lol D - I guess you nearing the answer to that one ... is OK you can tell me as much as you want. I know it really never ends. All good ... I deal with it today like the next and so on.

Yesterday I ate NO Processed foods or sugar. I see if I can do that again for today.

All the best re the results ... day at a time ... day at a time D. :)

thanks D. Today I was on the phone for like 3 hours, at least 1.5 with my brother, he is out of hospital and his kidneys started to work a bit, .
that's feels so much better not to be scared for his life, My older brother is better with his DVT so all good news, I talked a long time with wifey of younger brother, I love her so much. She is so spiritual, and such good soul, she always makes me feel much better, She is the one who always believes in me, It helps a lot.
I hope you going to get better, however a lot of shit coming your way from the system. You know that, try to desensitize yourself, yeah ice compress helps with so much, even arthritic pain goes away with it, it takes the inflammation down I will keep you posted with the situation in home, I keep my fingers crossed that this will resolve in a good way, yours and mine

That all sounds very encouraging regardless of the road ahead. Your post is very much appreciated. It seems to indicate just how important connection is. I am pleased you have a friend with such a deep connection and that she leaves you feeling so much better. Glad your brothers are doing well enough.

I wish to talk about Isolation because I know my daughter is suffering quite a bit with this. I also remember it quite well and still suffer myself to some degree, however learning things are not always as they seem.

Isolation is not so straight forward as it would seem as some people can connect easily with themselves and their surroundings without the need to constantly be in the presence of others; in a way that so many of us cannot. This to me presents in a different context to the pressures that main stream mental health services place on psycho-socialization and reintegration. Whilst from my experience there is great benefit to be had in that, it's not quite that same kettle of fish and just as prone to make people regress due to the agenda and frame work associated to those services.

I find healthy connections is more about finding the right dose and that being flexible with changing circumstances of the individual. This point being something that goes astray when encouraging and influencing people to socialize in large groups. The type of connections being made just as important as finding the right dose. Too much too fast leads to toxic connections, so too, when we give in to fear and then also when our ego gets in the way. This for me has made it hard to try and reach out when wishing to easy my daughters pain. Given all this, I now find myself also in a lot of pain.

The system as previously mentioned does more to separate and isolate families with it's privacy laws and the ever present power play with all public servants involved. Even if we had money to go private we are still plagued with the fact that nothing can be done when one is not willing to help themselves. The ongoing constant threats and taunts testify to that fact. Whilst no longer having the energy to sustain such antics my wife and I are coming to a spot where despite not liking how many service throw around the term 'enable,' we only now call upon upon said services with no hope for resolve, other than for us register our concerns. From there as once again stated, vital connection is clinically controlled and isolated. This is how many families are clinically separated. To a lessor degree but just as toxic, this is how a community of people are treated as a whole when frequenting medical establishments. How can people be expected to foster connections when the way in which they are treated is anything but human? Do you get my drift? Drift being quite an apt word as is my point with a world wide crisis in how today's families and people are drifting further and further apart. A reality kept at bay by all those glossy and deceptive marketing images. (typically those do more to keep us feeling sick) Alas it need not be like this - I put more time into thinking on that next time around. Still acknowledging this end.

I agree with every world you posted, every word

HI D Thanks for the up vote. :) Guess what ... happy birthday to me ... happy birthday to me. Today is the day I turn 50 on the 'Old Speedometer.' Now it's official.


https://i.ibb.co/Jx92kfd/long-way.gif Something I know you can appreciate. No matter how much I try to gain on you D, you always seem to be steadily out in front. LOL ... just kidding. :)

Happy Birthday Ponder :)

I really enjoyed your posting about isolation. Thank you for that !!

Happy Birthday D. have an easy day, :) Best wishes
you are very young D. :)

Thanks guys ... had a reasonable day. Very tired though with all the drama and extra duties but we are more than functional and doing OK. My support person comes today so I will get a boost. The little one will return and mum is doing OK. First we take him to doctor because like you D - he seems to struggle with allergies. It needs to be checked because we really don't want to keep giving him antihistamines all the time. Diet is very hard with autism. VERY ... but I have a few tricks that get in the much needed vit & mins. in that respect I always make sure he visits if even just for pop to slip in some of the good stuff. :) But like I say ... all is well enough on that front.

I also got in some therapy yesterday with my support coordinator attending as requested. I sat there with her and the long standing psychologist. I am much better understood and it makes it easier to be more flexible regarding the governments frame work and agendas. These inner workings my therapist assists me to create records (in advance) and keep them on hand to make the job easier for those service providers willing to work with us. Once you can start dealing with all the pain, bitterness and tantrums ... it's easier to make a case then sit back and start focusing on stability (a much preferred word over recovery)

Srry to go on ... hmmm what else

I scored some PC games for my Birthday http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/dancing/...y-emoticon.gif(although this time have not much to play them - I need to make time but be more conservative in the doing)
For my birthday my eldest daughter who has less on her plate purchased me a game on my wish list. YAY : )

Damn I goto run ... I name the games a little on.

Be well guys

Huge Day ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Eating Clean Day 4 almost done. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz Spent 4 hours + cleaning. It was a full on run. More to go. ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Little one is back home where he belongs. :)

Hope you guys are doing well enough?

I just came back from doc office, got toes infected based on allergies . hell it is frigging itchy and so itchy it hurts , Another bullet to bite for me

Hi D ... another exhausting day for me. I do hope the itching is a little better?

No energy for a write up today ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz all in good time. :)

the itching will kill me D. the worst I am on market tomorrow and 10 hours in socks and shoes, That is not good for it. Antibiotic obviously is working and maybe the steroid cream too. eh

Not saying I have had the same thing, however I have suffered my fair share of fungal infections, skin rashes and painful peeling all over both feet; and other parts of the body. Usually one body part more than the other. I feel for you in this respect what ever label is attached to the condition.

I'm into Day 6 of eating clean. Just got back from an hour long walk. I've even lost a little weight. During this time life has been extreme. Given this fact I am quite pleased with myself however not so much that I am going to float away on a cloud of froth and bubble. Just as well. It's typically a long way down when getting carried away like that.
__________________________________________________ ________________

I found the below vid an interesting listen despite the theatrics of this fellow being associated with Gaia TV. (Always a fishing project in the well being industry) It at least made for a decent podcast whilst out walking. Maybe others here might find something relevant in it for where they be?

No annoying heart string draining music that overpowers the talk - just plain dialogue the way I like it. Of course a Villon at the end.

Thoughts Feelings & Emotions (I think this presentation be a small collection of his many insights?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDlLIXqgKA0

DAY 7 ... and holding course suprising well ... all things considered.

Bravo!!!..................no energy to say more, Markets excellent

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ- Same. Glad to here the markets 'paid' off. I hope literally so. :) LOL at how we use this place like FB now. hehe

Thanks the f****n itching wakes me up in the middle of the night, I am not suppose to use the steroid cream more than twice in 24 hours but the itch is unbearable. Now I understand better my childhood and constant itch , it looks like I did not make mountain of hill . It seems to help in middle of day when I wash my feet using a lot of soap, maybe high ph helps with itching. I wonder if it has a fungus profile which loves sugar , I mean higher blood glucose. eh it is driving me crazy ,

That sounds really hard core D. You concerns regarding the sugar remind me as someone that suffers with skin issues himself how much better I am doing since laying of all forms of sugar. (Including Baked foods with any form of wheat) Wheat in general since no longer being into that I am amazed at how much better my skin irritations are. Simple Carbs also included into that as being a fast manufacture of blood sugar. It's made a huge difference with all my skin irritations, rashes and so on since coming of all that. Moisture in the air and temps are all things to factor in as well I guess - BUT - For sure diet can sure be a major influence for both the bad and the good.

Got to run D - Good hearing from you again catch up soon enough. :)

SAL???? How ya doing ??? Hope all is well enough? No need to be thriving or be successful here in this space. The glass one quarter full is more than enough. lol. Hope this find you also as well as can be.

Take care guys.
~Dave.

D - What about that oat milk recipe to sooth it? I suppose it's then moist which is not good?

I link this however understand if your not up for gelling with it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzhFPZIqqm4


Here, I write up a story including the above link - It actually had a healing affect on my grandson today.
____________________________

A Four Year Old Autistic Kid Who Found Healing Through Music And Imagery.

I head out the door to start the day as a client with my own disability support worker, leaving my grandson who had just arrived for a visit with his Nana. The poor kid was not long worn down from a recent upheaval and break in routine, starting long days in kindy and overnight access with his Father. It was no surprise to me when the little fella turned up still sick from the previous night where he was then suffering a bad cough and harsh symptoms of allergic recreations. It was hard to see him having trouble to breath. Thankfully although still quite sick, he seemed to be doing a little better this next morning. Before I headed out the door I noticed my wife was still playing Youtube up on the big TV screen. She was playing a spiritual relaxation video from the recommendations list. In fact I had been enjoying that music prior to leaving. My wife repeatedly commented on how tired it made her feel. I explained once you listen to it enough, it's more calming than anything else - as in ... you get used to it.

Anyways long story short, 3 hours later once I had finished my session with support person, I come back home to find Youtube still playing. It was playing ambiance entitled something like 'Reiki Healing Music'. My wife informs me that the little one tells her without any promoting, how much he likes said music. He was also wowing over the images. The bright colors and rainbow people. Something I noticed not long after I had returned, was how much quieter his autisticly loud high pitch voice had reduced. Not only was he speaking softer but his voice was deeper. His pitch was not dramatically lower, but enough to sound like a completely different boy. He sounded more like a nurotypical kid for a child of his age; more so calmer. Apparently he was even playing by himself wish is something her rarely does in our house. I smile to think just how much more my wife will be playing this kind of music therapy which seemed to work so well on all of us.

By the time he was going home, the color had all but returned to his cheeks, his eyes looked less plagued and he was breathing my more deeply. His mum had him on the phone later this evening as he had awoken from his sleep to remember the magnetic art piece he had constructed previously on our fridge. "Please Nana do not wreck my dinosaur and tell pop also not to mess it up. Also could you please keep the wolf away from eating him" Yadda yadda and goodnight.

I suspect that he will make a full recovery by morning.

That's the story of a four year old autistic kid who found healing through music and imagery.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Goodnight ... as is time for this autistic pop to go and veg.

my home remedies fail in this situation, I have no idea what it is, it moves up to my calf so I am terrified, Wakes me up at night, Can not put socks need to keep cool. eh

Yes and is concerning if your using the steroid creams more than prescribed and still not working. The way you describe your inability to keep warm whilst itching like crazzy reminds my of when I was living back in Toogom (remember all the photos I took of the ocean and out going tides) I was then struggling with either scabies or massive reaction to the local 'miges' which is a tiny form of mosquito. You where recommending all kinds of remedies and whilst some helped, I remember being in a stage where nothing worked. It was all over my body by that stage. I had to lay back in a recliner with some kind of powder all over me. I think it was called 'Diatomaceous Earth' I would have a shower and then cover myself in the stuff. I even showered with the stuff.

Anyways ... even after using pills they give to horses for parasites - I think in the end it was more about a skin reaction to the midges. It was middle of winter and I found the only was I could sleep was in a recline with barley any covers on me. I was cold BUT any form of heat just made the whole rash worse; unbearable.

So it is I understand well (although most likely different allergy)the symptoms sound similar given the inability to cover oneself.

We just can having similarities D. Hopefully you too will in time come out the other side appreciating the pain and suffering of lessor things. :)
_______________________________

This morning I go for my operation:
They have me first one of the conveyor belt. I think I mentioned before. The anesthetist rang me last night. He sounds like a nice bloke. He is going to put me to sleep even though he mostly does not for others getting the same operation. He understands the extent of my anxiety and also how I find the hospitals even more triggering. Man I wish I could afford to go private all the time. The way in which they are dealing with me is way more human that then public system. It's such a shame that it all comes down to money with such things. Oh well. THX MUM & DAD!!! :)

The funny thing is D - I am finding more and more lumps with each passing year. I beleive many are just part and parcel of growing old and given the age we are living in, one is lucky if they don't end up like a 3 eyed fish.https://i.ibb.co/ZxYFhQp/fish.png

LOL - I think I make an avatar for now. That kind of defines me well enough of late.

Hmmmm ... Not sure what to do. I am not allowed to eat as of last night ... nor drink. The sun is still only just rising so I might go for a walk. Only thing there is I am also not allowed to drink anything either. BUT - the walk will help my nerves. Yea I go for a long walk.

Catch up soon.

Wishing you well D ... Get well soon!

it is based on allergy in my situation , scabies do look different actually if you look at your skin with the blue lamp you will see the corridors they make in skin, Awful disease, I had this once in hospital, yes I got it in Army hospital. I was there with pneumonia, shoot and ended up on dermatology ward.
I kind of belevie it is Dyshidrosis , Dyshidrotic Eczema, but so far it is not so much of it, it moved on the top of my hands, I am at loss. it is kind of confusing.
oh i hope you survive the hospital, it is major stress for me, drinking water is allowed cause it will be gone in like an hour. you are going through anesthetic and they worry about vomiting but not with water, that's absolutely crazy. I do understand food but water???? Good Luck Dave :)

I got it wrong. I could of had water, but you know me. Oh well. Huge day. I let you know more tommorow when I wake up. I respond with your reply in mind then. Zzzzzzzzzzz

One of the nurses was patronizing...but you know that's to be expected I guess? I ignored her, but it frustrated and saddened me at the same time. I try to let it go now.

yeah they behave like we are animals not people, the tone, the god like tone is pissing me off each time. I just put down one of them showing what I know about diabetes, She asked me twice Are you a nurse? I said twice no , I do not know how to search the knowledge , They think they are the only ones with access to information
Any way they recommend eating margarine and Canola oil, they lost me there right away, hell our health care is awful

Yea - I let it go D. I actually did a good job letting go for the most part as events transpired. Anxiety and Hospitals just don't go together. You know the waiting room where you sit prepped with your gown on before they lay you down on the trolley beds? - ... well I was just getting into a train of thought that had no thoughts when all of a sudden a nurse burst through the plastic double flap doors talking at a high volume. Given the contrast between prep waiting area and those double flap doors - well ... that about sums up the extend of mindfulness and toxicity that goes into those places. Those trolley beds are really no different than factory conveyor belts and so to the mannerisms of the people entrusted to take care of the sick. Hence this being the reason I remain silent for the better part trying to focus only on registers as humane and genuine intent. Speaking of which, there were some staff in among all that, that were in fact respectful of who I simply be ... as is written in the documentation. Those staff members seem to be more mindful and 'less' patronizing ... all things considered.

It pays to also acknowledge the good when it presents itself.

My Son in here ... so I best get off this thing. He is visiting with his wife from Brisbane. I put of my supports today (although did my walk with a paid friend) ... I open up more about this as is still all new to me D. I do hope this finds you feeling a little better. I know you are busy and not always able to respond; so TY for the times you have thus far made.

Later.

SAL - hope your still reading and that your OK???

Oh Ponder, I hope you are ok, I do not feel better, worse, the itching on my feet and hands does wake me up in middle of the night, So i get up put steroid on my skin and go to bed keeping my feet and hands uncovered . I keep 17 degree at night, pretty cool. It takes around half an hour of burning itching to improve, Tomorrow I will get to the doc again, obviously the meds do not work , the infection is maybe slightly better but tomorrow my antibiotic ends, Why the heck he gives me it for a 7 days when 10 days is a minimum for bacterial infection. , I am going to explain it to him, Will take the pill before appointment to act in polite and respectful manner
With the constant itch it is not easy, eh the stress does not help me at all

I hope you will be alright with everything in the hospital - wishing you well. I hope you're also managing with everything Dahila. I'll fill you both in another time when you get back and settled with everything from the hospital and I know you're doing ok. I'm managing and taking things day-by-day.

It means a lot to know you're thinking about me.

I am going to doc tomorrow and feel very anxious about it, I bet he will want me to take prednisone which higher and make havoc with diabetes and blood pressure, We will see I keep my fingers crossed for us there you Sal , ponder and i

Hi Sal ... glad you popped in. Also wishing you well D. I am feeling very low and think I will just ride that out and spare you guys the long winded sighing. :) ... Is all good. Just need more rest I thinks.

Good luck D!

Edit ... wish us well ... we have a warning of approaching cyclone which could present to be an issue of the next few days. Although I will care less until my clothes line starts to fly. Is funny watching how many people buy up the shop shelves and then nothing happens. You just don't know when to take them seriously these days with all the hype they make and selling of fear.