A Stranger's Voice Message - A prayer for my time of need.
It was when glancing the facebook columns after checking for marketplace messages that I came across a post about the benefits of church and autism. My initial reaction was, "WTF is this doing in my feed?" I thought fuck it! I will respond, no one else has. After deleting the first time around and then content with a reasonable statement to the contrary, I hit enter. Some time later I found myself in chat with not one, but two individuals counseling me on the virtues of sin. You may be wondering depending on your own viewpoint with such things, why did I allow myself to even engage at all? Most likely because that which lead me to delete my fist scathing post (before hitting enter) the spirit in which I recoil from this earth and all on it ... is not at all personal. That's a key point to my survival, at least in terms of sanity. My take on depersonalization being different to that of health professionals.
How often do people turn their hatred of whatever negative experience they have suffered and throw it back into the face of others? I see this very nature in people as the very essence of invested emotion as it is to invested money. I use the word money as a point of reference because for thousand and thousands of years, it's been valued more than human beings. Identity fits very well within these dynamics. Money, Human Beings, Emotion & Identity. From the top down:
Money the currency of secularism. Sin the currency of Religion. Both often hand in hand.
| MONEY/SIN |
| HUMAN BEINGS |
| EMOTION |
| IDENTITY |
I'll come back to the situation where I'm being counselled on the virtues of sin. Those four key words above in that order top down is the lens in which I see this world. Additionally the detachment factor is another dynamic to this puzzle.
My take - is to take the person out of the human when thinking in terms of depersonalizing. Humans may once of been beings, but they (I shudder to say we) are far from that in today's world. That world no more than the amalgamation of complex systems that dominate what we say and think. I think in terms of that evolution itself over time with are so called advanced world. That process over time combined with the evolution of human identity to which we are all today programed artificially in a system that relies heavily on invested emotion. More so the control of other people's emotions. If that is confusing - read the table above in that priority.
Money is used to dominate the control system. It's the framework that drives people's values above all else. This is our world and despite blinkered sectors whom are invested in the art of deception ... the 'veil' ... a term that contains the letters that spells e-v-i-l ... is rife in today's complex digital world. I know many people think I am nuts talking about such things ... but it's as real as the screen your reading this from. It plays into how this program is run.
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SIN - sigh ... Man this program is so corrupted OR so well written to ensure it's creators keep us in. Yawwwwnnnnnn.
Oh boy. ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz So I reply to this form of currency called sin to which I was tonight being counselled in:
"I see it differently. I came into this world perfectly fine. It is this world that is corrupted. It's attempt to label me as broken is just part and parcel to the branding process of ownership where humans are capitalized like bank notes are spun from a press. This state of being perceivably different eons ago before the tainted and twisted teachings of today's mainstream narratives. So it is that humans beings now come into this timeline on this plain of existence. This sin you talk of is no more or less akin to the concept of money, property and ownership. Sin being as much a concept as money is to slavery."
I said it somewhat differently - talking more about corporations and establishments which is a language more understood by religious types. The pastor who was brought into the conversation thanked me for my input whilst the well meaning disciple who was shepherding this unsolicited session later sent me a voice message offering up prayers for my suffering and thus sin.
Alas - it was what it was and lead me to thinking about that table above.
So many invested peoples philosophise in a way to justify their investments. To me, whether it be captisimlm, socialism, communism - I see all those forms of governing run in much the same way when it comes to those four key points in above table.
The essence of what I present here is more about disconnection from what it means to be human in today's world. An artificially programed bot that is everything but the essence of being. A controlled commodity that was once free before entering this corrupt world.
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To be sure it goes deeper than that and can be perviced on many levels and often is. That said, despite the many intricacies with that being very much spun with the aim to make more complex ... Prison planet theory is looking very good. Concepts that seek not to label beings as in need of overcoming for having existed at all tend to follow the path of reincarnation, we are here to suffer in order to learn, just another hierarchical ladder system and so on and on ... well my time opening myself up to all of that seems as much a flawed currency do pretty much the same with signage imprinting one must do this or that ... one must go here and there, one must think and feel a certain way ... just more disempowering programming.
SO - is it any wonder people are more lost than ever before? From a programmer's perspective this is key to spinning a GIF on an eternal loop with no end in sight. A round and round she goes. So far Alan watts comes close defining a lot of this and puts some kind of tangible grasp onto something what it really not. Yet I have to admit his way it just his way and whilst he has many subscribers I find some resistance to his take. I'm not quite sure what yet I know it's not personal. Or is it? arrrrrrrrrrrrr ... time to detach from my own sense of being in a world that seeks to have me connect with anything but!
Righto ... I best get of this loop of my own. Not sure I made a beginning, middle and end ... but fuck all those formalities. That exactly what I am trying to break. That is exactly what keeps us from being.
Night night. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzz
It's OK to be Low Vibrational - Just Don't Become a Target. Read On:
Before I share on low vibrational states and how it is that we become easy targets, I share the following photo:
This is a digital photo I took outside my house with camera propped up on my brick letterbox, facing towards the busier end of my street. Although I live in a quiet street I do not enjoy walking past other peoples homes or being in town at all. Lately I have resorted to walking at night in order to avoid people and traffic. Dogs barking can be an issue at this time, just as they can be early in the mornings. I find is best to just walk as quietly as I can which suits me fine as of late I don't have the fitness to push myself and to be honest when I do, I often lose sight of the importance in simply finding space.
Having a bicycle kind of helps me during the day when I do find the desire to go outside the house. The bicycle helps because my speed is quick enough when coasting that I don't get caught up in eye contact. This helps me not to engage. This brings me to the topic at hand. Low vibrational states and that being OK and not something we should fear of feel guilty about; as is commonly themed and used to demean those not doing so well. The thing to understand with being in such a low state is how it makes us easy targets. The best analogy with this in mind, is to think of 'The Pecking Order.' A social hierarchy where the bigger, stronger, and more aggressive chickens bully their way to the top of the flock by pecking the others into submission with their pointy beaks. First they strut about, fluff their feathers, and squawk, but if that doesn’t get the point across, they peck. It can get violent. Sometimes blood is drawn; occasionally, the opponent is killed.
It's really no different in our human society. Very much the same in fact. Let's replace 'bigger and stronger' with more powerful. Humans intellectually acquire power in all manner of ways that have little to do with benevolent virtues. We live in a self centred society that hides behind double meanings used to deceive people into believing that self promotion is not only well justified, but essential to a well lived life. Fear is commonly used to instill such a value system and often done so in the education system:
“Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.”― Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting
I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again. But before I do - if you can't follow along at this stage with where I am going, then I would submit you probably won't. At least not at this point in your journey. You may never, just as you may never understand me.
Why should we even fear at all? It's this mindset that sells so well and thrives within group mentalities aimed towards pecking others who do not fit in. This mindset knows well, how to demean those who struggle living life. Those sitting up the top on the higher rungs perched well above, writing the narrative for all those below to live by - lest they be programmed they must fear; be afraid - you are nothing if you are not living by our standards. There is no live and let live with these ideals. It's purely does as I say, do as I will. So it is that the narrative directs people to police as 'they' 'will.' From there we get many sub groups where the common theme is the need for identity followed by more standard, guidelines and rules.
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Back to the Pecking Order - Hmmmm - OK - allow me to bring up that other picture that got my attention today: I think now is a good time -
https://i.ibb.co/dQ6TThd/Abstract.png
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Shame and guilt the tools of suffering. By which the wearing away of one existence gives way to another and thus around she goes whereby those who see themselves as winners feed off those feeling so low; those less able, too tired, vulnerable and exposed. God forbid we look after those. |
The true nature of self in conflict with unnatural states of being. Governed by those that seek to impose fear in response to those who are seen as compromising. That which is pure and innocent is made to feel immoral and sinful. Weighed and measured within a system ruled by cast iron beaks.
Nature only corrupted by streams of thought that seek to dominate all forms. Where does this prevailing corruption come from?
https://i.ibb.co/TYMckDL/Birth-of-thought.png |
Yawns - This write up inspired by those this afternoon whom chose to laugh at me because I did not consent to reply in turn. I was walking down the street before the sun went down. I was in a low vibrational state that was easy to see. Because I did not respond with a wave to some negative energies that picked up on my own, this little group of men started saying hello to each other looking my way poking fun at me. This is why I connect with words so well when saying in the above "By which the wearing away of one existence..." as I truly feel I have reached my end in this world.
I have no desire or point of reference to go when I step outside me home. So it is that if I wish to move my feet without jumping in my car or on my bike, that I pretty much only do it at night. I literally feel like a walking target because of how low I feel. Feeling low is something we are taught to be ashamed of. This brings to my mind the deception within so many self help movements that go as far as to deamen one state of being Vs another - yet it is in that act of demeaning that they themselves sink so low. It's just that negative state is buffered by an ego that is said to be healthy. Yadda yadda - motivational gobbledygook that becomes competitive in a violent world where said destruction is reasoned as natural. The natural order of things being a statement that sets the foundation for a prison that's been playing out for eons.
What's the answer -
Currently I am riding with the low. When they started laughing at me singing out hello repeatedly, I did feel triggered/hurt and feedback with a reactive goodbye and momentarily thought about flipping out - but then resided back into my usual low state of being where eventually I decided to write this. Being low is not nearly as bad as they say. It's just another state of being. People don't like it when your OK with being whatever wherever. So for now, I do what I can to avoid people and have no issue with doing such. In the same way I choose not to respond, (which obviously will piss some people off) I choose to dismiss that avoiding people, places and things is some kind of dysfunction. To the contrary, I consider society as the dysfunction where my certifications are no more than a means to an end for compliance sake. So it will be when I am hemmed into taking 'The Jab!' The same way my low vibrational state reflects the image of that which is in conflict with me - so too, it is with how I present when forced to comply. It is at this point those caught up in the game of society start violently pecking.
You can't find me on either side of the coin. Nor will you catch my sitting on a fence. I'm basically off the charts, yet just as caught up in this mess as much as anyone else. I worry that my therapist might get worn down. arrrrr I now smile.
Do I have enough characters left to explain? The whole theme here for me is that it's OK to even want out! Whatever that may mean. Truly - it is perfectly sane to be completely fed up with all this world has to offer. It's perfectly sane to see the bullshit for what it is. There is nothing wrong or sinful about feeling so low. If only people would back the fuck up and allow people to go through what they must. But NO - In this society it's all about your 'capacity!' hmmmmm thus comes the motivational hierarchy set to inflate identities that leads to all kinds of divisions and conflicts that ultimately plays into the images above.
The irony I find, is how rife these delusions can be found online. No doubt including my own.
OK - Last sigh ... thanks for listening.
To finish on a good note although nothing wrong with the above: I am glad I was able to write as I did.
In about two weeks I will be going away for a week where I'll be helping my friend with his computer build. That I am looking forward too. :) I'm no longer selling him my monitor as after further research I decided I would be doing myself a disservice. I have still got other options to acquire some more funds for my own projects. It's just going to take me more time is all. One step at a time. I don't mind looking to find reason to exist within my own buble - It's just that I will never participate in this toxic society on a level that is willing. My compliance will always be forced and therefore anything I sign is null and void. I spit upon my birth certificate, drivers license and bank cards and forever always burn flags of all nations in my sleep. To be sure the real answer is to do away with such resistant thoughts. Be party to no side or concept other than be ready for one's eventual death ... to die right now ... in the here and now ... to not fear not living or pay no mind to such limited thoughts. Every life is lived no matter how long or short. Beware of people who advocate the opposite - especially those that promote fear.
