DAY FOUR - Purpose Is The Telescope Where Meaning is Lost Via The Looking/Seeking
You Purpose In Life! The Devine Purpose!!! ... glossed with counter articles/authors/egos that speak of such things as no more than distractions keeping us from Fulfilling!!! ... which for many broken souls comes off as a collective universe looking through a telescope at itself wondering where it is. So it is that purpose is the telescope where meaning is lost via the act of looking/seeking. Fulfilling just another construct in as much as the expectation that everyone is here to dance some kind of divinely staged event. Participation is required! The latter being yet another solutions spelt out and sold in many books as well as being presented at some workshop with millions of empty souls looking through the looking glass as an unconscious universe views itself.
The same tricks and use of language utilized in the marketing all kinds of industry are as rampant in the self-help, philosophical & spiritual practices/pursuits /fads/cults & /entertainment. I view Tolle the same way I do Watts. I am careful not to slide into same fan based following and or worshipping mentality by way of taking their insights and making them my *own*. I don't understand watts or more a case of take on his view with us all being better off dancing some kind of dance. Such participatory terms do not work for me or many others despite that appealing philosophical intellect. I think that such gurus have not suffered in the same way that brakes a spirit for life in the same way that people end up with severe permanent mental & neurological & or illnesses from traumatic events that such presenters can only describe in philosophical ways for lack of not having experienced such.
I am able to talk from this perspective being byproduct of the apparent universal collective. I've noted many times before that you don't see much of the byproduct from the bottom of the barrel in such audiences. This point is not to minimize the pain and suffering that comes from those whom have not suffered in the same way or not branded as having severe permanent mental & or neurological illnesses. However I do note a misunderstandings between these two dynamics where the language used to bring insight for one facet can in fact be more of a distraction for the other.
These marginal to extreme differences in experiences and perceptions is really important for me to convey as whilst I keep listening to such philosophical and spiritual teachers there is generally one type of audience that seemingly influences the language used when it comes to the telling of *You Need to do* where those chosen words used for said audience, fail those further down the rung. I think those of us deemed with severe permanent mental & or neurological illnesses would do well to understand this dynamic I'm trying to hit on. Alan watts's desires to drink, have sex and dance to the tune of what he proposes life is ... to just dance the dance and play along with whatever tune, kind of fails those of us that have either had enough of such things or simply no longer care for the desire at all, or find such desires no more than a drain where that's OK ... the way Alan talks can often come off as a criticism for those who do not wish for such things. A lot of his followers seem to be more hip thus of course into such things and this is where I was meaning that the type of audience and their own desires/fears and so on at times can dictate the messages that are given. Oh Allan strikes a lot of resonance in all he says but for me whilst I gain many insights, I see just as many conflict that do not fit for byproducts like me. I'm simply not into his kind of universal of governance with all that dancing. Tolle whilst talks and skirts with some form or construct of devine dance, he seems to be closer to the mark regarding deeply fractured souls.
I'm not quite nailing what I am trying to convey here - but it does come down to how the shallowest of words for byproduct of society are used as Devine solutions for those with broken nails. Even my own comparisons fail and our subject to terms such as egoric and hypocritical - but more so confusing with no real malice intended at all. Like all this text is more about what swirls within my own being.
I've been doing the motivational self help merry go round trip for eons + the deeper philosophical and spiritual telescope online workshops for as long. Words and Terms that open up inspirational doors that almost give permission to do this or that or derive a concept of one needs to do or be a certain way just don't cut if for people who simply do not require a purpose or meaning ... that in fact such constructs have only been leading to the compulsive disordered that have ensued. Truth be told from beneath the rubble of such terms - one sees way more disorder spawn from desire and claims made of such things. That no dance is required at all and or if it ever was, it's not meant to be life long, as that be just one little fragment to existing at all. Basically that it's a different dimension for broken and busted souls where any form of peace to be had is as much to be had in a void with nothing, no sound nor any vibes at all.
Perhaps in that space I can change purpose to no more than a random happening that evolves into a random quest where such a fictitious character knowns nothing about the aims but simply travels from one point to another without regard for any outcome nor time itself. But simple is not how we live today - complex living that spawns many complexes - one after the other.
I digress but is ok. My point is that whilst so many are chasing positively comfortable vibrational states whilst rejecting that which is heavy - those of us bogged down in the heavy I feel have more potential to disconnect in ways that help us tune in to a state of nothingness which is way more appealing than the claims and telling's of whatever by whoever. Being byproduct as I prefer to put it regardless of whatever impartments but deem us unfit in an otherwise normalized society is prone to involuntary violent reactions which is why I avoid dancing the dance as I have come to see such a collective. On the surface we do what we can to swim and whilst there is much to gain from said reflections - the fancy language and terms that are mostly used do very little to come up with solutions that help us more affected; really live. Instead we ourselves teach ourselves how to die in a world that fears death. In this there is no need to fear an unlived life. No good comes from quotes that do more to incite fear whilst selling optimism. Think Natalie Babbitt - different interpretations to be sure. I'm just trying to make my own point is all. I found quotes less useful if I can't create my own. Even Tolle messes it up from time to time but again it comes down a lot to the audience. He even admits as much in a round about way when correcting himself on the language used.
So what am I really saying in all of this?
Day Four - Here's to day five. Laughs out loud.
Day Six Evening - Cost of Food Continues to Rise
Day Six comes to a close. Had a reasonably good day. Helped support a friend at a Mental Health Meeting (ITO) ... Got a little sun by the ocean and stuck to eating clean.
I'm continuing to binge watch *The Good Doctor* on Netflix ... got confirmation on the refund of the laptop ... organized a bike ride for tomorrow with said friend. I took him shopping this afternoon as he can not afford to keep his car on the road and with the rising petrol prices ($90 to fill up our 4 cylinder car) I don't blame him. We both ride bicycles a lot.
Todays pic is of my shopping trolley. I just ducked out to top up on heathy fruits and veggies with a few health foods such as prune juice, flax meal, yogurt, a bit of salad and not much else. I filled up to average size shopping bags with one quarter watermelon as pictured. Coming out the other end of the check out at a whopping $94au ... that's almost 55 Pound GBP ... Surely that's getting ridiculous. I'm going to have to work out my meals to the grams in fresh foods if this keeps up. Generally I don't like to freeze my meals but I think at these prices I will have to bulk up with some meals unless I can get my head around the exact amounts of ingredients. Just as well I cashed in on my laptop when I did. Like that's not a big shop when eating health every day - especially when I am laying off the meat and need to eat more veggies and legumes to make up the difference.
Is hard to remain optimistic but I'll work out my meals exact not because I am counting cals (not at all!) but because I really can't afford to keep eating like that once all my money is gone. I'm definitely going to get my own panty but my room is starting to get quite small. The change in my eating for now requires more intake but I'll work on keeping that to a much smaller allotment if I am able to get to 100 days! My last successful bout worked out well once I was only eating handfuls of high density healthy fats and notorious dried non perishables that were providing enough of the essential vit's/mins/fats & proteins whilst. Eating fresh as the cost pictured above is just not sustainable on my pension and I know it's why most of my friends just eat cheap frozen bags of salty oily potatoes, cheap pies with even cheaper junkier food on the side.
Anyways ... is what it is and I think it only going to get worse so I best work out a plan on what meals I'll be eating as a disability pensioner and renter. Let's not even think about Organic although I do with some tin food from time to time. I defineatly don't remember it being this expensive the last phase I was on. Like it was but this is ridiculous.
Small bites and longer chewing. lol Yet that is also a good method for digestion.
Here is to Day Seven! :)
DAY SEVEN - My Outdoor Potted Garden: Update
Just going to post a few pages in my thread on the current state of my outdoor garden. Only four images per page enabled on this forum. There will most likely be a 15 minute delay between each choose and scale the images. Each plant has it's own story but I won't go into detail other than review the images myself as to what decisions I make when contemplating what I do with them next when maintaining them. The whole collection started back around 2014 with four small indoor plants.
In fact the next image being in front of my bedroom door shows one of the original four plants. I think it's called a *Red Anthurium* It's now split into two with a third I have on the ground that needs my attention. Hard to beleive I've been maintaining it for 8 years now. I won't name all the plants because my memory is shot. The images are enough for me to work out what they need. I'm not over the top about keeping them pristine but I do have a passion for keeping them healthy and find doing so helps to keep my grounded as I generally have many other projects on the go despite slowing down these days. More so in my head than hands on kind of thing.
Forgive the lack of image quality here as my phone is not that great in low light and especially when using panoramic mode but the image itself is only meant to give an idea of what kind and how many, potted plants I have to maintain. I am always moving them around depending on the day, weather, cleaning, maintaining and that kind of thing.
Before I start walking around potted garden anymore I take a shot of what it looks like today from the exit door. Perspective is a little stretched going out and to the sides so whilst you get some kind of idea of the garden layout it's actually more compact where you feel more surrounded than what is conveyed here. I'm actually very particular about the spatial positioning and in fact I have to move around my outdoor setting as currently it's not sitting just right. I get to that soon enough on the next page when I finished choosing those images. Again just phone snaps in low light as this is more about me working out what I am going to do or even acquire next as I keep working on making this spot a really nice place for visitors and ourselves to enjoy.
Outdoor Exit:
*Note the little *Red Anthurium* The small yellow pot on ground level sitting in a saucer. I have it taken from the window box in font of bedroom window. I need to move and feed it. Note* I have not forgotten about that little guy. It's a really nice feeling walking in-between the plants and looks really nice from my bedroom window and side glass doors. We do tend to move a lot as renters but well worth one truck load. So far we have been very fortunate with multiple years in one house at one time. I still count about 30 residentials places my wife and I have lived in ... that's another post as we actually got all the houses listed with google pics. It's another cool story to write about.
https://i.ibb.co/Fg1WH50/4-Outdoor-Exit.jpg
To be continued ...