Searching for anything good...(sigh)

Made it through the Holiday. Christmas. Phew!
The car was and still is a huge hit, we got him on video too.
We even put full coverage insurance on it yesterday too, its that nice.
My mechanic worked his ass off to get this done for me. I rewarded him nicely, and took him gifts too.
He is still so excited about it that he's having trouble sleeping. That will pass in time though.
Attachment 1503
That's his car. Nothing fancy, but way better mechanically and way nicer cosmetically too. It only has 126,000 miles on it, and the original owners were in Texas. (no road salt, no rust).
My kids were also very happy too. They all got what they wanted. Christmas Eve was spectacular, special. Christmas Day, I was a slug and did nothing.
My Granddaughter is still in the hospital, under developed lungs and she wasn't gaining weight properly but they say she is recovering and may be coming home this week too.
My Son is here until this Saturday then he returns to KY with his Mother. I know, I could hardly sleep last night because of that. Thinking about him having to leave again, for a long time.
My gf is still unpacking things at her new apt. She still has a lot of work to do to make it home. But she said last night that she's much more comfortable and relaxed there too.
Saw my doctor again yesterday, she put me on stronger pain killers. They are working even better than the last ones. She says that she wants me to be at least a 3 in the pain level scale.
I haven't been at a 3 on the scale in 2 1/2 years. That would be very, very nice. She's a great person, very helpful, very understanding, a great doctor.
Everything seems to be going ok so far, not perfect, but it'll work and I can live with it too. Wish my Son didn't have to leave, wish the baby was healthier too. It is what it is.
Wishing you all a great day, and a memorable New Years Eve too. I may just be here asleep. LOL! YAY! I'm exhausted from Christmas time...still.
Blessings to you.

Enduronman :)

Hi Enduraman, has your situation changed at all since I read your post similiar to this when I first responded a few months ago? I wish you the best and hope that you do not become a , "Victim of the dysfunctional Family System." Sometimes, ya just gotta let em go, and Let God do the rest. God hopefully meaning that eventually these disturbed persons will be aided by social services. Otherwise, they too will end up hitting rock bottom and going to jail, or going to the hospital for some illness or other, or even having a breakdown and having to spend time in recovery? Which may not be bad in their case?

Hey Blue!
Happy New Year!
Yes, I now live with my Father and he is a super great man. Very kind, helpful, caring.
We are now in a good place with no family dysfunction at all.
Thinking of you friend!
Enjoy this day...

Enduronman :)

Happy New year everyone and Eman :))

(sigh)....
The car that I put together for my Dad, for Christmas, has a bad water pump now. Got the part. Have to wait until Tuesday to get it put in.
I used to be able to do that shit blindfolded, in my sleep, hanging from my ankles. Oh well.
My Son goes back to KY today after his 2 week visit. This day is going to suck ass.
Going to put in my Daughter's new car stereo as a diversion. Powerful. She'll be happy. It does everything. Has a detachable face. She likes it. Christmas gift that FINALLY arrived.
It wasn't here by Christmas so I wrapped her up a stapler in a box. She opened it and said WTF? BAAAAHAHAAHA!!!! Priceless.
Took the back speakers out of my Dad's old piece of shit car yesterday. Brought them inside and went into Chloe's room to show her the new speakers that I ordered for her Christmas gift.
That ARE NOT here yet!!!!! She didn't know any different. Until I told her to look on the back at the magnets and tell me how many watts they have? 10 watts. THEN she got it...WTF??!!!!!
BAAAHAHAHAAAHA!!! Pieces of shit! Her new ones are capable of 300 watts!!! HAAAAHAAHA!!!! I know, I'm mean. But, I got a laugh anyway.
Watched a movie with my kids last night. Bad Grandpa. Johnny Knoxville. He shit on the wall in a restaurant. I could not stop laughing and nearly pissed my pants!!!! BAAAHAHA!!!!
I will try to make this day, a good day.
Wishing you all the best!!!
Blessings...

Enduronman :)

Well, considering that I bought a car with a blown engine (126,000 miles) and has it all fixed up for my Dad for Christmas, I have apparently somehow gotten into the used car business.
His car is finally 100% done. Runs and rides perfect. No leaks, no noises, and it even rides smooth at near 90 mph too. I drove it around yesterday to see if it would hold up for him. LOL!
I also bought another Honda Accord car. A 2000, 2 door coupe, LX that already runs. Just needs some body work, a front bumper. It will be a nice looking car when I'm done with it.
Then, I'll sell it. So, I guess this is how I will earn some extra money now. I had NO idea it was going to be in buying broken down Honda cars, fixing them, and selling them. BAAHA!!!
It's ALL I have ever driven in the past 28 years, so I know what I'm looking at when I go to see them. I know what I have to fix, how much it costs, where to get the parts, what to ask when done.
There are now 4 Honda Accords out front. LMAO!! And, I am also trying to sell a 02 Toyota Celica GT (wrecked), an 01 Mazda Protégé (needs new gaskets), and a 98 Dodge Neon (needs nothing).
I'm going to look at a 99 Accord today ( I hope) right here in my same town. Won't start. I will know exactly why it won't start within 5 minutes, then make them an offer.
Their AD says, won't start so just make me an offer. LOL! So, there may be another Honda sitting out front by the end of the day. a 99!! HAAHAAHA!!! (My mechanic is having fun, getting paid).
Was going to try to put some speakers in the back of my daughters car today, BUT, the windchill is -24 right now. NOT so sure I want to be outside for very long.
Other than all this "car" stuff, I'm doing ok. Still have pains that wake me up in the middle of the night. I got up at 4am today to take my pain killers. It's 5am now....feeling ok so far.
Oxycodone actually works! YAY!! Gotta take that 4 times a day, but it's better then the other...walking around in severe pain all the time.
Hope you're all doing well! Wishing you all the best too!

Enduronman :)

Just wanted to pop in and harass you........er...say hello ! Its been some time.

-24 degrees, wow. Stay well. Ill pop back in soon to say hi.

Catcha later.

I found the car of the day! It was priced at 1/2 of book value. I wanted to see it. I texted the owners, yes they still have it and it just needs a tire, and a new muffler. I asked if they would meet me somewhere because I wasn't familiar with the town that they live in but that my WHOLE FAMILY lives down there.

They have not, and will not, reply to me since I told them that my entire family lives in the town that they live in!!! BAAHAAAHAA!!!!

Hmm...Wonder if there is REALLY something wrong with the car? LMFAO!!!!

Oh well,...Win some, Lose some. :)

Have a great day all!!

Enduronman.. :)

Just stopping in to see how everyone is doing? I am doing pretty damn good, other then my Aunt is in the hospital now (86 yrs old) and I didn't sleep well last night because of that.
I am living with her brother, my Dad of course. I didn't tell him last night, it was 11pm before I learned of it and he wouldn't have slept at all either. He couldn't handle it.
I will tell him after his mind wakes up around 10am today. He is also struggling with issues of the mind too. Asking me if I was going to shower yesterday night, when he helped me hang up the towels when I was done showering at 11am...he had already forgotten that. (sigh)...he's 76.
Other than those issues, doing great. I told you that I bought my Dad a car for Christmas. Well, I have already bought (3) more cars since the 20th of December now too.
I figured out what I was going to do for a living, to earn an actual income, I just didn't know it was going to be by buying cars headed to the junkyards for Final Burial, fix them, resell them.
I restored old houses for 30 years (which destroyed my physical body) and now I'm restoring old cars (which requires NO physical labor whatsoever) so I don't get sore and more painful.
I have 2 Honda Accords, one Mazda Protégé, and one Toyota Corolla which is my present project today. The mechanic is going to pop the hood, and diagnose the mechanical problems.
Then, one of the Accords goes into the shop on the 2nd week of February. Then the Mazda on the 2nd week of March. They will ALL be ready to drive again, safely, soundly, strongly.
Then, my daughter Chloe will wash them, wax, shine, polish, clean them with a toothbrush, and make them look really sharp...then, the FOR SALE sign goes up in the window.
EVERYBODY is happy. I just had NO idea that I would be doing this. I do however, really, really, like it.
I even have a partner in the junkyard business now too. He has 95% of what I need, and he's a great guy to deal with too.
It all just happened so fast. Hell it isn't even the 20th of January yet!! BAAAHAHAAAAAHA!!!! and I am making money again since disability has their thumbs up their assholes.
I can't wait on them, anymore. I am done with that program. Its been over 2 1/2 YEARS now that I've been waiting. Fudge them!!! LOL!
Everything else is good. Living here is really good. Being with my youngest daughter is really good. Being away from that drunk is really good. Making some money is good too. Finally.
Thinking of you all and hope you're getting along well!
Have a great day friends.

Enduronman :)

My man had autobody shop before his accident, it is hard work to do it Eman. I am happy to see you in one piece ;)))

Love your positive attitude and how you write - thanks for this post!

Hey Smartscrutiny!

Eh, my positive attitude may have taken quite a hit, like a car crash...
Everything SEEMED to be going pretty well, fine, ok.
Then, my youngest daughter got arrested, again, for the exact same shit (5th time). Possession of Paraphernalia.
She will be gone for a very long time, this time. They revoked her probation. The sentence is 9 months.
My Father and I both, already miss her dearly. I can hardly look down the hallway at her door without crying or even look at her car without the same feeling.
I've lost her, for awhile. And, I lost my girlfriend of nearly 8 years too. Because of my anger, stresses, and for disappearing for a couple days at a time, to process everything.
It's in my nature to do that, my stupid personality type even says that I (need) my alone time and space, to calm down, decompress, process things, but she thinks that I just dump her...
When in all reality, I crawl into my cave and think about things, how things are, how things are now going to be, how and if I can change the way that things are or will be...
So, I've lost my daughter (My Princess as my x gf said) and I've lost my gf (of nearly 8 years) too....AND, I was denied my disability again too (2nd time) even though I can't walk.
My positive attitude, has just taken a "Shot through the heart"....but, I will try to recover from all this, it will just take time I suppose,...
I will do my best to maintain and to be positive too..

Wishing you well and a great day too!
Enduronman.. :)

(PS: Friends wanted. If anyone would like to send me a friend request on Facebook then my name is Chip Eads, from Greenwood, Indiana. Find me! I need friends now more than ever. :) ....)

Oh Dear, that's a lot in such short time. Girlfriend; she is gone because she do not understand, after 8 years she should. Before she or you guys broke up, she sold the house thanks to work you put in. The *****disability, it is awful. How long they are going to brush you off?
Keep strong my dear Eman, keep strong, it shall pass

Hey man, just checking in like you said. :)

Hey to all the crew, too.

Sorry to hear about your daughter E-man. Sometimes people are just their own worst nightmare at times, huh? All you can keep doing is hoping that things will improve. On the bright side, people do burn out a bit as they age. Pity she's still so darn young!!

I haven't had much sleep, so whack me round the head if I'm wrong, but did also you say you've broken up with Kim?

I hope you can ride out this bad wave.

Yep..broken up with Kim, Chloe arrested again, Cecilia's third child is a child of the State because of drugs, and it just keeps getting better and better I guess.
Started another new med a couple days ago, Latuda. Only problem, can't really sleep all the well but other than that, doing ok.
The Kim thing, doesn't bother me. It is what it is...sometimes things work, sometimes they don't.
The Chloe thing, bother's me. 5th time. She may do some time for this one.
The Cecilia thing, bother's me, because its just f**kin sad...and I thought I had a (real) Grandchild this time. NOPE!
Other then all that shit, life is Grand...

Thinking of you all friends!..

Have a good day,
Enduronman. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Enduronman

Yep..broken up with Kim, Chloe arrested again, Cecilia's third child is a child of the State because of drugs, and it just keeps getting better and better I guess.
Started another new med a couple days ago, Latuda. Only problem, can't really sleep all the well but other than that, doing ok.
The Kim thing, doesn't bother me. It is what it is...sometimes things work, sometimes they don't.
The Chloe thing, bother's me. 5th time. She may do some time for this one.
The Cecilia thing, bother's me, because its just f**kin sad...and I thought I had a (real) Grandchild this time. NOPE!
Other then all that shit, life is Grand...

Thinking of you all friends!..

Have a good day,
Enduronman. :)

---

Hey, you..

Hey there..
Same old shit...different day.
Other than that...what can a man say.
LOL!

Enduronman...

I think that maybe the tides of my life have changed, for the better...Weird.
I sold a car today that I had been working on, and they drove off as a happy family. It's a good feeling.
Then, I was at a gas station and a girl struck up a conversation, with me? WTF? I was looking around like maybe she was talking to someone else.
Well, she wasn't. She said that she really like their soda's and especially the pepsi...which I again thought was weird because so do I.
Then, as we were leaving, she asked me if I would like to call or text her sometime? WTF? Um, yeah...OK!
I've been texting her all night, like I'm a kid all over again. She's too good to be true. I'm supposed to go over to her apt tomorrow too.
This should be interesting! YAY!!! Amazing how things can change so quickly, but rarely for the good. A new day awaits me! I can hardly wait....yippee!!!

Attachment 1504

Her name is Juliana...She's kind of cute. I just had to smack myself to be sure I was awake and not dreaming...LMAO!!

Have a great Friday all!

Enduronman... :)

Dang, E, you got your hands full with your new girl. Quite the looker she is

Anytime relationships go bad, just expect an upgrade and it usually comes along. She would be an upgrade for almost everyone.

The daughters will find their way. Just be there when you are needed like you always do

Be well.

Damn E-man! Hope your life really is turning around.

That girl's cute bro. I can't take my eyes off of her... uh.. personality.

She looks young though. She looks early 20's?

Eman are you flirting with teenagers?
;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dahila

Eman are you flirting with teenagers?
;)

---

Yeah, Eman. Be careful when you text her. We don't want her getting kicked out of class for using her phone. :rolleyes:

damn we need the ""like"" button:)

lol at the bright side , EMan, even though you just sold that car, she will be able to drive soon and come and see you :D

Eman seems to be busy; flirting:)))

wow Enduronman, i envy you hahaha looking forward to your next update :)

I think EMan gave everything up, fixed up a car and drove away with his new girl

E-man, how're you doing? I haven't seen you in ages. Thought I'd bump this thread for an update.

Do not waste your time billy here, no one is going to pay you for anything.............

I know and understand your suffering. I struggle daily with anxiety. I think the worst part of it are the self destructive stories that I tell myself. I recently got into a new relationship and I live in constant fear that I am going to be "lied to, cheated on, have one pulled over on me, etc.". I've broken up with this guy four times in the past month and he hangs in, realizing that it isn't really me talking when that happens. Its just so unfair to him and to us and I feel like its such a set back each and every time it happens. I don't know what creates this. Is the fear a reaction to a gut instinct or is it just an action that he does that triggers something in me? I started a regimine of natural supplements (B-Complex, fish oil, gava, lavella, and a mood enhancing supplement in the hooes that it will reduce some of the anxiousness. Has anyone had a similar experience in a new relationship and what has helped you?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AshleyMe123

I know and understand your suffering. I struggle daily with anxiety. I think the worst part of it are the self destructive stories that I tell myself. I recently got into a new relationship and I live in constant fear that I am going to be "lied to, cheated on, have one pulled over on me, etc.". I've broken up with this guy four times in the past month and he hangs in, realizing that it isn't really me talking when that happens. Its just so unfair to him and to us and I feel like its such a set back each and every time it happens. I don't know what creates this. Is the fear a reaction to a gut instinct or is it just an action that he does that triggers something in me? I started a regimine of natural supplements (B-Complex, fish oil, gava, lavella, and a mood enhancing supplement in the hooes that it will reduce some of the anxiousness. Has anyone had a similar experience in a new relationship and what has helped you?

---

Get to the root of why you have fears in the relationship...that will be healing. : )

hang in there my friend!!

keep going mate!

theres always light at the end of the tunnel! :)

Hey E-Man,
That is quite a list. But you've inspired me to write out my own list and get it off my chest:
1. Anxiety Disorder - GAD with panic attacks. Currently on Cymbalta 60 mg and Wellbutrin 300 mg. Doing much better but all day long have the apprehensive feeling that I could lose it and have 24-7 panic again like I did back in March.
2. Weight problems. Anxiety makes me lose my appetite..lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks...no exaggerating. And I was in the low BMI bracket to begin with. My doctor said she was going to hospitalize me to make sure I ate unless a relative would come and stay until I gained some weight back. I have at least stopped descending but still drinking Ensure like an old person frequently. (Im 31).
3. Marriage problems. can't go into detail but we are getting counseling. I notice my anxiety goes way up when I'm' around my husband.
4. Secondary Infertility. Had a baby....then husband had hernia surgery and damaged one of his tubes that delivers the sperm down. No more babies for us. Hard because people aren't very sympathetic since I already have one. I grieve every time I'm around a pregnant woman or anytime someone announces they are pregnant with their fourth or fifth or sixth child.
5. History of sexual harrassment from my older brother.
6. Because of #5, have self-esteem, body image issues as well as trust issues.
7. Miscarriage before my first child leading to my anxiety disorder.

Well, I know it's nothing compared to your list but I think I will try to do a positive list now.
1. I have a son who is healthy and generally quite happy.
2. I have a husband who I know loves me.
3. Besides starving to death, I have no life threatening illness.
4. I have lived to make it to 31 (some people don't).
5. I have a german shepherd puppy that I love so much.
6. I have food to eat and a bed to sleep in and live in a country where I am not worried about war or poverty.

These are huge things.....I need to do this every day!
7.

Nice post, awalker.

Starting the countdown to Eman's return

Good luck, people with countdown to Eman's return:)) I miss him too

I miss him three!!! Lol

He told Nixon he's coming back today.

Continuing the countdown to Eman's return...

Ive always described this man as beautiful (spirit guides description from a soul perspective). Maybe this hiatus and some peace has finally allowed him to accept this about self. That has always been the goal.

Because when that is accepted and believed the magic starts and the crap lifts that was once blocking the view.