Made an appointment to see the doctor, today..
Something about me, doesn't feel quite right.
I am teetering on the brink, of a major disaster.
A mental failure of sorts.
Hope everyone survives.
E-Man.
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Made an appointment to see the doctor, today..
Something about me, doesn't feel quite right.
I am teetering on the brink, of a major disaster.
A mental failure of sorts.
Hope everyone survives.
E-Man.
nothing the doctor can do, period. you did not handle yourself correctly yesterday, and you feel it. we told you its all about you, no one else. we also mentioned in one of our posts in this thread that in all situation, all thoughts, all actions one should come from the following question in looking for answers or resolution:Quote:
Originally Posted by Enduronman
what would love do now?
no exceptions, and that means no exceptions. even if you should come face to face with personified evil, which you believe is your mother.
and you have a fear of losing your inheritance which actually serves as a checks and balance because the threat of the loss forced you to rethink before you act. now that you seemingly threw caution to the wind, the thought of it stirs some emotions.
there is also the internal guilt of leaving your mother in her condition and moving out, without proper resolution for the hate is artificial and blinding.
in therapy today discuss how you can come from love. would love have handled anything differently? would love have spoken anything differently? would love have acted differently?
giving love is not dependent on receiving love.
today you are feeling violent emotions, when we say violent we use the term as turbulent, like a thunderstorm. your first instinct based on your chosen (and to an extent conditioned) methodology is to attack the body, and so the physical doctor is the obvious choice, but hardly the correct one.
keep up with the therapist, that is the direction for you long term.. we can't reach you here, my guides and I. so we won't be responding much more. just a reminder to you that we have left our posts here in this thread, if you should ever desire to go back and look. it may someday 'click'.
in today's therapy, release some anger, and frustration. also begin to recognize and discuss the idea of multiple personalities. that introduction will open avenues of healing not yet explored. suffering abuse at a specific point, you split in two. when the internal conflict becomes too demanding, you "just don't feel right". but you are unable to identify it.
please do not respond to this post. we do not know who we will get or what mask is worn today, you are not clear enough in your thinking. actually do the work.. there's plenty to do away from forums like this.
best regards
we will have no more here.
I am preparing to get the fuck out of here now.
I have been dizzy since yesterday, never felt dizzy before.
I actually cried a little while ago. I never cry.
My hands won't stop shaking.
My head won't stop moving.
My vision is blurry.
My stomach hurts.
My breathing is erratic.
Blood pressure is up.
I am falling off of the edge.
I am carrying my handgun today.
Doctor first, therapy second, then get the fuck away from here for the night.
All is well. Just trauma.
Be well.
Enduronman.
Take benzo please, you have a panic attack Eman. I think this forum does not help you at all. Actually the opposite. You are gentle soul, and you need help no analyzing, on frigging public forum. Talk to therapist and doc, you need to take your xanax, unfortunately. Get well soon Ch:)
Saw the doctor, she spent much time with me, a caring person.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dahila
She doubled my Xanax prescription. I will be taking 3mg per day now. For good reason.
I also got a new med called Latuda. An anti-psychotic. I need that now as well. I need to keep my balance, and keep my feet on the floor rather than up someone's ass at the moment.
I told her the story. She say's that Mother has serious psychological issues that are unresolved.
Say's to "Get the fuck out of your Mother's house tomorrow"....exactly as spoken.
Say's that everything that she said to me, is false, not true, and I am in fact a "good person" so don't let her bring me down to her levels.
Say's to pack up, get loaded, and tell Mom "I'm sorry if I hurt you or caused you any troubles, it wasn't my intentions. Be well and take care Mom. Goodbye"...
and walk the fuck out of here, with my head held high. She said "So you say that you're now losing a parent, but you already lost her decades ago anyway"...
Move out, move on, forget about it, the issues, leave it all in the past, live MY life the way that I wish too, and work on being happy and surround myself with positive people.
There is positive people at my next new address. They have NO psychological disorders, no drug abuse, no alcohol abuse, and NOT judgmental either. It will be like Heaven up there. Yay!!!
Hope you're doing well Dahl! Thinking of you my friend... :)
Enduron Man. :)
oh dear how smart is your doc, she is decent. Yes take as much as you can and go, this is the best option. Whole day I was thinking about you and hoping something resolves...first of all leave behind your mom and then some people here on forum. Do what Dave did: ignore. You do not need to add to your stress, you need the support you give to countless others. Can I cast a spell to help you a tiny bit? :)
I do not pray :)
Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence....One step from lashing out at you.
What it takes, where I am, belong...
Re-
spect....
Walk.
What do you say...
Are you talking to me?
Is there no standards anymore?
Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me...
BAAAHHA!!! LMAO!.
Pantera....
Walk on home boy...
Best wishes.
E-Man. :)
Dahl baby!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dahila
I'm with my gf tonight.
The therapy session sucked ass...useless.
He acted as if he was in shock the whole time after hearing my Mother's words and behaviors, but, he did agree with the doctor to get the fuck out of there asap.
In fact, they both said to get out tomorrow, go to a shelter, or get into my Dad's house, before my parent is in danger...
I am making those plans now..YAY!!!
Give Mom a hug, and say later!! Take care!!!...:)
Blessings friend.
E-Man :)
Oh that's good Eman, I keep saying your name, just kick me for it. I am sure your dad takes your for a few days then you can make some arrangements. He is such warm and understanding person full of love, how come man like that end up with the monstrous woman?
Therapy usually ssuck they do not know enough, and when they know enough to help others they see not sense it it, and they are too old anyway :)) Good at least you have a night to calm down
Yes, my Dad is just the opposite of my other parent...but his house is only 800 sq ft!..grrr.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dahila
We will survive, and I will be with my daughter, and my other daughter is only 15 mins away. YES!!! YAY!!!
Trying to post a picture of something that my gf just took for me, it's funny!!.Attachment 1467
Maybe it worked...my drug bag!!! LMAO!!! BAAHAAHAHA!!!
Everything that any one (addict) person would ever want...street value, 5k+ I'm sure..
Lots of awesome shit in there...you name it!.
I am calm, we are looking at homes now too. Newer ones as well!! Hell yes!.. YAYYYYYY!!!
E-Man. :)