Your computers look like so much fun and I'm glad to hear the break away from home is good :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Ponder
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Your computers look like so much fun and I'm glad to hear the break away from home is good :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Ponder
Thanks Sal. It's good to be back. He is a video I did as still kind of on the go with not much time for anything else. That said, I will post later with something more uplifting than than of the drama that has been in here of late. Understand if you drop off the radar, but do check on my from time to time and or chime is as much as you want during those periods your more at ease and the environment as not so toxic as has been of late. Righto - off to the shops to get some coffee ... I live you with this quick clip. Sorry about the watermark in the video. I am yet to setup my computer with my editing software as my system is still pretty fresh from the recent reinstall.
Take care - back soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75a-eeMwHbU
To my good friend Sal, D, and old and new forum members alike. You guys Rock! Chuckles well meaningly. What can I say. Life goes on whether I like it or not. No sense fighting that. Currently I no longer have a therapist. The Support Coordination I currently have regarding the disability scheme I am on, has become as complacent and about as useful as a crochet condom; for lack of a better metaphor. But hey, that's life and I really can't expect much more than that. When I find the energy - (and I will!) - I'll write some constructive emails seeking appropriate support whilst in the meantime bidding my time with that which I cannot change. I'll make some more phone calls as well but with no real expectation other than to reach out for those willing to help. In a nut shell, I am unable to work with disability agencies that do not connect on a human level with their clientele. It's really important for some clients (such as myself) to feel included regarding all aspects of their plan. The bureaucracy under which we all live, well adjusted or not, tends to create more than half the conflicts it seeks to amend. So it is that I am in no real rush to find more agency to replace that once before it. It takes a long time to find quality support just as it does to find people in general whom are worth the time and effort to connect.
My ongoing Computer Hobby. If you did not notice, I have one fan in my system to correct. In order to get the lights working on the rear exhaust fan I need a few more parts. To do that, I need to sell my laptop. It did sell, but the person who won that bid did not pay. Happens from time to time. Like when you sell on FB and no one ever turns up. The guy that bought my graphics card tried to claim it was broken but in the end caved in once we put together a concrete defense, where in the end he said his account was hacked and that the graphics card was working perfectly. I think I already mentioned that latter one. Point is - just like complacent work practices and staff members, there are always going to be trouble makers and difficult people. The good news is I have relisted and have more than enough watchers and current bids. So I will continue to upgrade a few more things on my custom build. More to follow on that as the parts come in as well as more research needed to install and do what I wish to do.
The world has changed to be sure - As much as l like routine nothing stays the same for very long. Our family doctor has also left. We had a good run for a few years now have to start all over again. She was a very good doctor - one of a kind. My response is basically not to go see any if I can help it. Just like with no more therapist. It's OK - That latter, whilst for me it does help quite a bit - is also good to make a change and take a break. As beneficial as my supports can be, the current level of complacency and dehumanizing practices now entrenched in the community has me thinking I would do better do go without supports. The hurdles in which people are made to jump is more destabilizing than the certifications sought. Such insights whilst alarming as any codependent relationship about to break, carries with it a sense of liberation in not having to continually prove and be portrayed at as a broken individual.
Today's Passing Thought:
This reminds me of a slogan or company name I saw written on business shirt. 'Beyond The Spectrum' I commented to my support person whilst out shopping today - "What's wrong with being on the spectrum?"
It's all in the lingo. Sure it's a well meaning company slogan, looking to inspire diversity and inclusion to a wide variety of disability clientele. Yet I find the fallibility of that which drives such industry as it has well become, very much encompassed in it's slogan. Proposing that the spectrum itself falls short and in need of wanting. It's an irony from my perspective. 'Beyond The Stigma' would have more meaning, but not as catchy to imply that one's business can take people from one lessor category and put then in a better one. Sales, Marketing ... I say there is nothing wrong with being on the spectrum. If you want to allude to the stigma, then use the word stigma instead.
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Intention for tomorrow. Help clean up in the morning and install my new CPU Water Cooler. Perhaps make a video t show off a well chosen animation, that can be displayed on the new CPU Block.
This is my Goal ... I will also include a Bicycle Ride just for health sake; weather permitting.
All in all - despite quite a few uncertainties and ironies I see from day to day, all is as well as can be - even when not so well. It's worth sticking things out and taking small steps. I'm actually happy with my latest projects and call them productive all things considered. I know my friend is very happy with his new custom built PC. I am happy I got the chance to build another one and also do some work on mine.
This concluded my journal entry for today. Wishing others as well as can be.
My dear friend, what to say. Normally, I question you when I see what appears to be a quick harsh decision, but I'll trust you and your judgement and we know what is best for us. I TRUST that the positive energy and forces that be will not steer you wrong and you will find a way to survive and continue doing the things that bring you joy; even those little things are small, they give you drive to live another day. You have a grand purpose and I (personally) believe it is to take care of your family because they greatly need you. Love ... well, I (don't think) its what people think, rather a strong unbreakable bond that no system can take away. You are not broken, but brow-beaten and battered; but 'worse for the wear' here you are. "They" didn't win.
Ok, I will also confess that I'm also taking a break and have put off my case as well this year. Nothing is going to get accomplished and my therapist knows it's an uphill battle and she doesn't feel I'm 'up to' at the moment and should focus on day-by-day more important matter of basic survival.
Sorry, have to stop as I am dealing with huge chunks of memory loss and confusion, so I'll try to write more later, but if not, I"ll continue in the AM. Mercy me ... its only a bit after 7PM and there is nothing left of me, but I want to just post this even if it makes little sense.
Tell you what: Lets just take a brake and remove the shame and get through this strange year and enjoyed hobbies and distractions.
Sounds like a good plan. See, even the therapists know just how disabling health care services can be in the waring down of applicants, applying for promoted schemes.
I'm all good with recording my hobby activates in here. I'll understand if I don't see you on for a bit re taking breaks. All good.
Thanks for the encouraging words. :) It helps a lot.
Oh I mean I'm taking a break from going forward with my disability case .. I'll still be here around the forums. You nailed it, I'm worn down too far this year. Honestly, I've been anything/everything but stable this year, sad to say.
I'm glad I said something that helped you.
Totally random side note: Yeah the world has changed and people are so stupid now they would fall for anything. You know people (and search engines) are reading this because you put 'out there' "a crochet condom". We can turn this into a thriving business with sales going through the roof. We'll have to hire people and decide where they [crochet condoms] will be made. All we need is celebrities to jump on board and the whole world will be into this new HIP fashion statement and fetish. Business got started in crazier ways; all it takes is a dream ... or dare I say: a twinkle in the eye (pun intended)
Ok .. so a business name for this new various style and colored crochet condoms business. Something to think about :)
I hope I at least made you chuckle with this one :D :D :D
HahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA ... just collecting my thoughts here. I really needed that ... Thx Sal. I go savor this induced feeling (very grateful for it Thx Sal : D) ... still rofl ... grab my morning coffee and think about my next post. I need to compose ... BRB http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing...y-emoticon.gif
The Irony of Language / DISCLAIMER / Covid19 A Brave New World / The Unvaccinated:
The Irony of Language:
I can't believe I used the word CURED in the title I did. I'm sure I was being sarcastic. I'm referring to the title I made: 'How Walking Cured MY Depression' thread in the depression sub section of this forum. I've always been of the thinking that you can't cure natural states of being. Whilst some of those states are less desirable than others and being in them for unnatural periods of time is detrimental, but to consider that nature is in need of overcoming only plays into the current state of things.
I'm thinking bulldozers both literally and metaphorically where human conditioning is to drive people into to grabbing the bull by the horns and push on trough a narrow corridor, thinking of little else but point A and point B. The latter nothing more than a program that suits only the few at the cost of many and a destabilizing planet to which the billionaire Elon Musk is currently adopting the same mindset to get off this rock. I tend to think that man's ambition is as flawed any marketing scheme. Whilst I sense more capitalist ideals being rehashed that will only see the same failings from one planet to the next, I do wish Elon's aspirations (regardless of marketing) well for the genuine intent many hope those to be; including himself. To be fair, it's not for me to propose I know the mind of any other, other than myself. That said, going by the 'Outside My Front Door' policy, I see only the world in decline like some kind of 80's dystopian sci-fi.
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DISCLAIMER: This freestyle write up is not meant to be a downer as I myself make a mental note of that right now. I am just looking at things as I see them. The trick is how I choose to express it is all.
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Covid19 A Brave New World:
Which now brings to mind The Irony of Language: 'CV19' being whatever that means to me (I'll get there soon) and 'Brave New World -Novel by Aldous Huxley' I know I have touched on this before and some people may find boring. I on the other hand can't help but think it's very relevant to today. I don't mean in terms of whatever Vaccines either. Whilst 'Brave New World' entails controlling the populous by means of drugs. I'm kind of looking deeper than just that. Social conditioning can be just as blinkered as pharmaceutical controls.
Like the quest to make everything all smiles and pain free shows up well today's short comings in the following:
https://i.ibb.co/PxMTQz4/Necessary-P...at-max-1mb.gif
If you do not know much about the Novel 'Brave New World' go give wiki a Read. It's very interesting and very relevant:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brave_New_World
Soma I think is the name of the drug used in Brave New World and once again I am not so focused on the obvious control mechanism of using chemical constraints to control and make a population manageable. Fact is, that is really nothing new. It is and it is not. The social conditioning/engineering however, that has been going on in the background to Covid19 is much more interesting for those who've been awake to this kind of thing. Such insights do come us as making one feel like they are alone and powerless as such. That's pretty much how the program is designed to have people feeling when it comes to anyone waking up. So what's the answer when you see all this manipulation going on? For me I seek to stop asking questions and expecting answers. That kind of thinking just feeds the program with resistance that's about as helpful as a police officer screaming for peace and quiet. Go figures. I think that sums up society quite well. I've resigned myself to simply see society fail. BUT - in doing so, have no issue with writing about things as I see them. Writting about the methods used to control, how to keep winners winning and losers losing. Every success in society as it be, is built upon the loss of others. The justice system carries with it a vindictive nature that could not be more corrupt. We humans today could not be any more vindictive towards each other in a world spiraling into more and more division.
The Unvaccinated:
On the surface - YEA sure - it makes sense to control a virus with separative measures, BUT - what's going on right now goes far beyond and much deeper than what most sheep are lead to believe. Sheep? Trigger word to be sure, just as Tinfoil hat also be buzzed left right and center. Conspiracy! - Conspiracy! The media cry - bla bla and bla on this side of the fence and bla bla and bla on that side of the fence. Distractions, distractions. Like I don't mind my hobbies, but I'm talking about something else here. This is where I just fall back to my 'Outside My Front Door' policy. Except whilst I care less for both sides of the equation, I do pick up on just how toxic people are becoming. It's an energy thing. How energy works. It's true that both sides of the equation can affect the other. It's why I look to minimize my exposure to all forms of commercial, local and mainstream news and directives. When you look at the energy in it's purist form - reflected in the world outside ones door, that is how you can gauge the true meaning of all the bla bla re the decision making and chosen policies. I'm not sure where you live, but here in Australia the police are very much standing over people when it comes to ensuring rules are followed. The News Readers, also stand over people with a well selected and chosen tone designed to instill anxiety and fear. For some it becomes a drug like a codependent victim who can't leave an abusive relationship. The social stratification talked about in Brave New World hits the mark so well, that it's no wonder that Novel has been banned so many times.
Now whilst I wish to avoid any directives given/forced by authorities, I will give in without feeling shamed but just work on the despair of living in such a world that aims to divide and conquer. Not that I care for going out often, it is annoying that I can no longer have a coffee with my support person because I am unvaccinated. I now find myself confronted depending on the shop when it comes to my so called right to enter. (some shops find annoying because of the hit on business - but it is starting to happen) Even now going to hospital or seeking medical help is met with division if you have not been vaccinated. This aspect I care less for as I detest the medical system and 'generally' only go in a crisis situation. The point is - at least here in Australia at this current time, the whole focus on being vaccinated as conditioned by media and government puppets - is leading to more than just "You can't come in ..." The energy of those show boating their compliance is rather sickening. The sheep mentality and conditioning that sees people acting like police is something that I will never respect ... even when I eventually give into stigmatized coercion.
Getting the Jab - is not just about getting the Jab anymore. The Jab represents the tipping point in that Brave New World. It's no longer about choice. Choice can be sold behind a long campaign of division which in the end is no choice at all. If it's not the Jab, it's both parents working where disincentive and stigma sees less and less people raising families in a natural state. Todays entrepreneurs, tomorrow leaders were raised by self promoting ideals, social stratagems, expectations and all the conditions that come along with today's cultural conditioning.. They know not of what compassion and selfless living is or the importance to having such things. The new generations of today and tomorrow are devoid of such traits only driven by ambition - social scoring and above all else - fear of being seen as anything less. The very essence of social strategisim. That being the conditioning that goes on behind social media, where social media shows just how mindless and devoid of humanity our species really be.
Thank goodness I still have the space in here. Smiles.
Sigh ... I'll be making an appointment to get my Jab soon enough. I getting about as much drained listened to those against it. lol - Neither side has offered anything of hope. Each side is as resistant and tiering as the other. I take the Jab under duress and care less for the claims of what is best. I reiterate, I beleive nothing the main stream influencers say. I follow along as someone being forced into it. I follow along as someone awake among a bunch of psychotics zombies. In once sense afraid to fart for fear of being set upon. In another sense, I could care less anymore because I care less if I get sick and die. As for suffering before death ... such is all this life has ever offered. There have been glimpses of joy and bubbly feelings, but in the scheme of things and reality being what is when waking up, there is not much to lose by playing along. If I do not get sick and die, I will still have to suffer the vindictive nature that is instilled in all of us. Best I can do is work on my own attitude as there really is far worse going on that CV19 itself. The response to it is still more toxic and the social stratagems that have worked well for so long, are now being consolidated with new ones timely being rolled out. These centralization of the world and it's local regions is now complete. For me - there is not humanity left. Just a bunch of actors living on a stage - yet it's very real. Welcome to the Brave New World.
Next ... How To - Live in a Brave New World? I thought I was going to stop asking questions? Oh well.
Solid day working on my new CPU AIO Liquid Cooler. Way to tired to show that one off at this point. All in all - not to shabby. I know I said I would do yesterday, but given I completed it today I am quite content with that. I also did my cleaning as well. I even emailed some feedback in an attempt to correct some issues re my supports.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Night night. :)
Great to hear you aren't giving up your supports - they need to know why you are not happy with it. I lack the energy atm to even give feedback other than what I tell my therapist and doctors and they are aware now of my situation and might help me because its become clear as day that I'm badly struggling.
Yeah, My computers keep my busy as well. Love to tweak these old clunkers. Learn something new every day. My rigs usually runs about 46 degrees unless I stress it and its got more than a few issues ... just like me ;)