Love on antidepressants?!?!

Hey all! So about 6 weeks ago I stopped taking my medication cold turkey (20mg Citalopram). At the time I was feeling good, confident, and wanted to experiment and see how i would bode without medication. Now that I am off my medication I am finding that I am learning more than ever about what causes my anxiety and I've gained the opportunity to learn new techniques to control negative thoughts in my head, but thats just cause I've been experiencing the negative and rapid paced thoughts more frequently.
Ok, so there are there are two major reasons I decided to come off the medication. 1) was because I want to eventually have children and I am scared of any potential birth defects that come from taking anti-depressants. It makes sense to me to try to cope without anti depressants because I know that I will come off of them eventually at some point in my life, like down the road when I decide to get pregnant. and 2) because I want to be able to form relationships with people that I get passionate about and that gives me butterflys and that I can say, "wow we really are best friends". I felt like while i was on the medicine there was something stopping me from getting those butterfly feelings that make me forget about thinking rationally and let me react instinctively. I feel like it affected the relationship I was in at the time because I wasnt allowing myself to fall completely for this other person. Then again, i don't know if this is the case or if I'm just blaming the medicine for my problems.

I'm asking for other people's advice and experience with falling in love on anti depressants. Have you gotten those anxious/butterfly feelings that let you just forget about everything else?


I'm thinking about going back on medicine. I have a meeting with my psychiatrist in a couple weeks and also will start to go to a counselor again. Do you think that counseling will be just as good as medicine was?

Thanks!