why do I lash out

So basically, ever since I finished school last year I've been at home, since I didn't get into a college, so it'll have to wait until later this year. Anyhow, because of being stuck in all the time, I've spiraled into pretty bad anxiety since December. Anyway, I've pretty much lost my motivation, and this morning, when my mum tried to motivate me to do some stuff, I said under my breath, "piss off". I immediately felt bad about it. Thankfully, she didn't hear me, and I ended up doing said things to try and motivate myself again. But still, I'm not sure why I said what I did. Is it just the anxiety making me lash out at people or something.

OK, yep anxiety can make you irritable........very much so. It could be you also are a bit bummed but really the best thing to do is to keep busy with whatever positive activities you can come up with. You'll feel better and get some confidence back trust me. You might have to give yourself a little kick in the butt to get started but make some small goals for the given day. Clean this, fix that, walk this far and do that errand, etc.
Get out and get busy living life and forget not making it into college at first. So be it but now you will formulate another plan and get busy with it and be happier. PM me any time. Alankay

Yeah, anxiety will make you really irritable. The amount of doors that were broken in my house from slamming them, or walls denting through punching them, due to arguements. The good news is, that as your anxiety diminishes, you will find yourself calming down a lot more. Stuff like clenching your muscles one by one, and then releasing that tension, or exercising can release it. Finding ways to relax a little (there are millions) combined with as Alan put, acheiving a few small goals will all help lift your mood little by little.

For me being a little honest with people helped too. Admitting I'm feeling down, stressed, pressured etc. Especially to those I trusted, or cared for. It allowed them to see my side, instead of seeing me as a cold, closed off person. It meant I could apologise for stuff too, and not feel so guilty.

thanks all