Hi there, just joined

Hi my name is Mary. Well it's my middle name I don't feel safe having my real name on the internet. I'm 16, I used to self harm and have had several panic attacks that I haven't told anyone about. I will never self harm again, that much i know, but lately I have just been getting really depressed, and worry excessivly about the tiniest little things that no one would worry about to the extent I have been doing so. I had a dream last night because I didn't charge my phone battery I died, simply because I had been thinking I would have to charge my phone before I went to bed, and hadn't done so. Also you should maybe know that I am terrified of small spaces, crowds and men. not all men just if they ever get really close to me it makes me shiver and a million thoughts go through my head about how much I want them away from me. As you can imagine as a 16 year old girl who is attempting to have a social life and not have an additional worry of being an outcast at school, this makes my life difficult. It's hard to begin to some up everything that worries, upsets and depresses me on a daily basis, so I am hoping this forum will help, I guess :)

Hi,
First of all it might be nice to know your not alone. It's always easier said than done but I will tell you somethings that have kind of helped me. If you ever feel like you have too much on your mind and your worrying about lots of stuff - prioritise. Sounds stupid but when you start putting a logic towards the worrying it does help. I found that by putting my worries in order, say the most significant or the one that makes you most concerned first, and deal with that - the smaller worries start to fade and you forget. I won't lie it takes time, but when it does start to work you feel weight being lifted. Do you ever feel ill with anxiety? Do you feel it affect your social life?
Shellz :)

Thanks for your advice, it sounds promising so I'll try, you never know right? And in answer to both questions, yes. I sometimes just feel like I can't do anything because I feel so run down, like everything is a task, even something like speaking. I also think my social life may as well be non existant. i have friends and i see them sometimes, but not the way normal people my age do. besides school I might see my friends once a month or less. My parents don't like me going out much, and we live in the countryisde so bus times are always rubbish, so I don't get out much, and people are very rarely at home so i feel lonely a lot of the time. And being alone leads me to worry about everything, as previously explained. Thanks for the advice, I'll give it a go :)
Mary x

No problem, Yeah its never helps when you have time on your hands - it just gives you more times to think of things - or as I do think of more things to worry about. ha, I get exactly where you are coming from... you feeling like your just too tired to even talk sometimes or u think whats the point. With you saying your 16 - I don't know if you work yet but if you don't - getting a job (even part time if staying on at school) can really take up some of that horrible thinking time and can get you introduced to more people. Also one thing not to think(saying this as I used to think this) is that because you feel like this at 16 you are being silly - your not at all! (there is no difference between feeling like this at 16 or 60) sometimes you can feel worse at 16 with everything going on at school aswell. Good luck with trying out the prioritising! :)

I'm glad you understand, yes I did have a part time job for a few months, but I quit this November past, I was being somewhat mistreated by the staff and it's fair to say it wasn't making my life any easier. It hasn't put me off part time job's for good though, so I am still on the lookout for another. Thanks agian for all your advice :)

Mary-
You're so not alone. I consider myself a pretty intelligient person and I had worked with teens as a counselour, so I know that self-injury is not the way to go. And yet, when my anxiety began at the beginning of this year (well, school year), I started hurting myself and making myself throw up (I think you Brits call it 'sick'...). Not some of my finer moments. And, like you, I knew that I wasn't going to do it again, because it was a bid for attention. I needed my family to know that I needed (and still need) help.
You have to know, that as bad as it feels (and trust me, I know it can feel pretty bad), it WILL get better. I'm already getting better (though I still have a ways to go)... best of luck!

Thanks for the advice, I hope you continue to mend :) talk to me anytime if you need it, thanks again!
Mary x