The sad story of my life

Hi everyone. I'm only 14. Life has been a b.... to me ever since I was born. I was sad and confused all of last year (6th gr). In March of last year the word depression crossed my mind. I didn't even know it was a medical illness at the time. I searched it in google and learned what I needed to. I went to a Dr and he diagnosed me with depression. I tried Citalopram (Celexa) and Sertaline (Zoloft) both give me more sucidal thoughts. Then I figured out I had Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder. I also learned I had OCD and GAD. I tried Lamotrigine (Lamictal), it only made me tried all day. Near the start of junior high, my anxiety got worse and I devopled Social anxiety and Panic Disorder/Agoraphobia. Excerise/heat trigger my panic attacks. Gym class is hell as a result, even had to leave and fake sick couple times. To make things worse I have no social life and in junior high no one understands or cares. Some call me emo. My parents aren't any help. Too busy working, too selfish, and too arrgoant. I post my this to not feel so alone with these problems. Anyone have any suggestions on how to help my anxiety? I tried Zrytec (Certirizine), thinking that a higher dose may be affective since its a major metabolite of Hydroxyzine. Had no to minimal affect. Anyone known of anything over the counter that would help? I also tried therapy, but that was just a waste of time and money. Anxiety along with everything else has made me suffer beyond what I can describle and is ruining my teenage years. Thank you to anyone who takes time to post to a kid in desperate need of help.*

Sorry to hear that you are going thru this so young. i recommend you talk to your parents hard about this. tell them exactly how bad this is affecting you. I recommend (not a dr.) you stay away from drugs for now because you are still growing and your brain is still developing. if money is an issue try seeing a counselor in your school. The best thing to do is talk to someone. The worst feeling in the world is not having anyone to spill your guts too or that you feel that noone knows what you are going thru. hope this helps

How has life been horrible since you were born? Do you mean to say that you have been suffering from depression/anxiety ever since you can remember? Or have you simply grown up in an environment that was, shall we say, less than kind, loving, nurturing, etc? Although BOTH of these things can cause SERIOUS problems, the second possibility (ie environmental problems) is FAR more correctable. Of course, I don't know you. But from what you say, it sounds to me like you probably DON'T live in the most kind, loving, or nurturing environment (parents don't care, classmates don't care (or worse), etc). It sounds like you need to find better people - at least some of the time. You might try finding some kind of group that you can join where you can feel appreciated and accepted (beware, though, as you can easily run into the exact opposite while trying to find love and acceptance). You might also try finding another therapist. The problem with therapy is that few therapists are truly competent. And it can take going through quite a few to find a good one. But I think this is important for you, as I truly feel like you REALLY need support and guidance.

A couple of other things. Watch it with diagnoses. It's easy to come to conclusions like having rapid cycling bipolar disorder. But just because what you are going through feels awful, this doesn't mean that you are THAT badly off. Even worse, believing that you have such conditions can both scare you to death and make you believe that your situation is FAR more intractible than it really is. Remember, the effects of nothing more than simply growing up in an unloving and uncaring environment are enough to cause you to feel REALLY bad and have LOTS of problems.

As for medications, it just doesn't sound like these are really going to benefit you. And, especially at your age, they are probably not such a great idea (just as drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes isn't a good idea). As I said before, it sounds to me like you just need more love and support. One more thing. Just to let you know, Zyrtec (Cetirizine) is an allergy medication, not an antidepressant or antianxiety medication.

I mean... yes. I can remember back to when I was 5 or 6 and having symptoms of bipolar disorder and being extremely shy. I'd wake up in the night, be confused and cry my eyes out. For no real reason. Let me say this, I know what you mean not to come to conclusions. I've thought about that stuff for a long time. But I know I definintly have those diorders. I've logged my symptoms for long periods, looked back to my past, and the antidepressants failed, all adds up that I have Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder. In my area I live in there are kind of a shortage of people in the psycology field and my parents only do things through Affinity because our health insurance covers it. I'd have to miss school for an appt and my parents won't let
me cause my grades are really bad. I'm feeling medicine is my only option but also yes, risky. By the way, Zyrtec is a major metabolite of the anti-histamine Hydroxyzine, which is also used as an anti-anxiety med. I've heard of people treating more mild aniexty with Zyrtec sometimes, due to its similaty with Hydroxyzine. I like your ideas, but they don't help solve my problems much. If this continues I don't know how I'll be able to focus or have the engery to pass high school once I get there. And yes my environment is unloving, non-understanding, and uncaring. A few people I told about this, stopped talking to me and thought I was stupid and weird. Fourtnley, recently I found someone at my school who understands at least.