A Ruined Friendship made me Happier (Rant)
Have you ever thought about the idea that any "bad" event in your life can become good, it just depends on your attitude?
It makes me think about an argument I had recently with a friend of mine, and it got some of my gears turning when I thought back on it. For context, I was (and probably still am to a lesser degree) a procrastinator, so I usually did my homework the morning of. Recently, I had stopped doing most things I found fun because I wanted to focus on working more and I was getting a bit tired of it. My friend is someone that regularly gets little to no sleep because of studying, whether or not she had homework or projects.
That day was the first time in a while I didn’t finish my homework the night before, so I was doing it that morning. I commented that I didn’t want to finish my work, and although I don’t remember the exacts words said, she took offense and we started to argue. She commented and told me that all I did was procrastinate and draw, even though she knew I had been doing nothing but studying for the SAT (she even told me before that I was too focused on college) so I got really angry.
After a while she said something along the lines of “If you want to have good grades, you can’t have time for fun. If you want a balance between fun and grades, you’ll just be an average student and go to a community college.” I continued to argue with her and told her that you can have both, but she refused to believe that.
I pretty much ended the conversation by saying (in regards to the fact that you can’t have time for fun) “You must live a pretty pathetic life, then.” I honestly don’t regret those words and I felt great for getting my emotions out. Ever since then we haven’t talked and I am still pissed with her. Why I was so offended by what she said, I don’t know for sure, but I do know that I am an evil little gremlin.
Any time that I hear something bad (grade-wise) happen to her it makes me happy. I hope that she has a terrible life and suffers because she honestly believed everything that came out of her mouth that day (after all, who am I to stop her from believing what she wants to believe? If she chooses misery, it isn’t my fault.)
Ever since then I feel like I’ve gotten a better balance between working and slacking off, so now I don’t do everything last minute. I’m getting organized little by little and I am feeling much better than I did before. My therapist even told me that I’ve been making progress, so I can’t help but feel like this was for the best.
What really bothers me, though, is the fact that her argument never made any sense. I always have a high average, I’m taking AP classes, and I am preparing for college well in advance. That sounds pretty balanced to me. What I know about her is that she had been failing some of her AP classes, but the only one I can’t excuse is AP English. We have the same teacher, but I am passing that class so easily, yet she is failing in it. All the studying in the world can’t save her from that, but getting sleep (and whatever else my mind is doing) is allowing me to do well.
There was a time in my life where I wished that I was a workaholic, but after seeing her like that I’ve come to realize I’m a little glad to be myself (the first time in a while, actually.)
