New here, have a daughter with anxiety

As I am waiting on my calls to be returned from the school, the psychiatrist, and our counselor,
I thought I'd seek help online.
My daughter is 11 and was diagnosed with anxiety last Spring, 2016. She refused school for the months of April and May (end of April, on into May until the end) but managed to make her work up and pass to the 5th. Fifth grade was the transition to a new school. The first few weeks were rocky but she made it through and did wonderful until now. She was also put on 10mg of lexapro that seemed to be helping; due to the fact she was worsening.

The same school refusal symptoms have returned. She sweats and shakes, about vomits (she has before many times) and is scared out of her mind. This time, it's affecting her 8 year old sister. It started at Christmas break.
She did so good before. She did well all year! She's been complaining of being very dizzy and I took her before Christmas to have her seen about. They referred us out and of course the appointment is taking forever. They want to do an echocardiogram. Her EEG was normal but they wanted to look deeper. She says she doesn't go fuzzy but that she feels disconnected. Then her hands sweat and she gets flushed. I don't know for sure if that has triggered this anxiety.
I'm very desperate and exhausted. She's been doing so well!
I never wanted home schooling to be an option because I didn't want her to think we were hiding and giving up; because things are hard.
I may have to because I came very close to being called to court last year. When I started , we didn't get an appointment until early June. So our mornings consisted of meltdowns. After we used our 10 parent notes , our medical absences were not enough. I would get her up there, but she refused to stay unless I stayed.

That's why I was so proud and relieved when she transitioned to middle school and did wonderful; until now.

There's no bullying. I've had everyone but Sherlock himself investigate. I investigated her phone , everything. (It's just a phone of mine she plays minecraft on).
So here we are, at home waiting on someone to help us with our next move. I'm exhausted and drained. Last time this happened , it almost killed me.

Please, if you have any advice please let me know. Or your experiences. I'm grasping for straws. I haven't slept and my husband isn't being as supporting as he could.
(He is her stepdad but he's all my girls have ever known. He has my stepsons every other week.) They just called and said the next opening is February 7th (Psychiatry).

Sorry so long . =/

Welcome to the forum. Our daughter in elementary school used to run after us when we dropped her off and cried and made a scene. This lasted off and on for a
while. She outgrew it, but it was very stressful. She is 26 now, has a good job and lives with her boyfriend. So their is hope. I was the same way. I used to cry, but
my mother gave in to me, which was bad. I missed so much elementary school that a truant officer came to out house which I am sure they don't do any more. In fact
records showed that I missed the equivalent of one year of school in my first 6 years of elementary school and I turned out OK, went to college, got CPA, etc., so kids
have a habit of turning things around and I know other similar cases.

Wow, that must have been so hard! I do not understand how it feels. I do have depression, but I've never experienced that anxious dread I picture on her face. My husband doesn't understand. He thinks grounding her and taking her things will do good.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kirk

Welcome to the forum. Our daughter in elementary school used to run after us when we dropped her off and cried and made a scene. This lasted off and on for a
while. She outgrew it, but it was very stressful. She is 26 now, has a good job and lives with her boyfriend. So their is hope. I was the same way. I used to cry, but
my mother gave in to me, which was bad. I missed so much elementary school that a truant officer came to out house which I am sure they don't do any more. In fact
records showed that I missed the equivalent of one year of school in my first 6 years of elementary school and I turned out OK, went to college, got CPA, etc., so kids
have a habit of turning things around and I know other similar cases.

---

Hi and welcome :)

I always had anxiety but it didn't get bad until I was at a strict private school. I wouldn't have dared refuse to go and was pretty much a straight A student. Then I went to university and was in the top 15% of all undergraduates (at one of Melbourne's top uni's). Well I broke down at the start of second year with severe anxiety and had to defer a year, then went back and finished. But I was using alcohol and benzos to cope and ended up on a disability pension for anxiety, depression, alcoholism etc.

I'm 43 now and looking back, my parents meant well but the whole thing backfired horribly and instead of a doctor or lawyer they got an alcoholic mess. But this story gets worse! My younger brother - who was never pushed as hard and went to a normal school and no university - overdosed on heroin and benzos in Feb 2014 and died. He had a decent job as a cabinet maker, a house in the suburbs and a couple of kids. He'd been diagnosed with anxiety as well and was on anti-depressants but he had a history of drug use (he'd been a musician) and I suspect he was stressed and/or bored with his "normal" life.

If there's any moral to this story I'd say it's to allow people to be who they are and not try to force them into any mould. I have a 15yo daughter myself and she gets anxiety but not to the extent she refuses school (she's not exactly a model student though lol). She actually lives interstate with her father, which is a whole other can of worms for me, but she knows my story and my brother's story and I think at least that takes the pressure off her to be something she isn't.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you can take something from my story which helps with your daughter.

All the best,
Gypsy x

Understanding and support is the key.

I just can hope your daughter would be better soon :( I'm new of this forum as well, and I think that you're a great mom!