Feeling Skeptical !!! Progress so far!

Alright so... last year i was drinking and smoking weed EVERYDAY. I been sober from Alcohol for about 9 months now. Haven't smoked weed in about 7 or 8 months. I figured if i quit the Drugs and drinking i would start to feel Normal again. ( i did drugs for about 8 years straight to give myself a reason to feel the way i do ) After quitting i was questioning if i was Real or not because everything looks fake. Anyway i figured since i quit it would change and i would slowly start to feel normal again. I am straight pissed off right now. I still take my zoloft and don't have anxeity, but i still feel fake and like everything is unreal or im dreaming all the time. What the hell am i doing wrong? I went to the Hospital a few months ago to ask them if they got any info on it.. The dr's and Nurses were stunned and had no idea what i was talking about. ( REALLY DISCOURAGING ) when a Hospital says they don't even know what that is... My Dr i see is young and she knows a bit about it. So i got mixed reviews. I seen a Psychiatrist when i was like 16 or 17 She said it was from playing video games that i feel unreal.. like really? lol... So i am still sober, but the drugs and beer are calling me. It's reminded me of the good times i had during the summer partying ect. i hate how my friends can do all the drugs in the world and they wake up 100% fine the next day, but i quit all that stuff and still wake up unreal NON STOP mine is 24/7. This is pissing me right off. I hear some people have it for their entire life. My Dr even told me to accept the possibility that it will never go away. I ain't depressed and feeling useless, but the unrealism is still here NON STop. What the hell should i do? I hate how some people snap outta it and here i am being fake. Had a really bad episode last month. Grandparents started arguing and i tend to feed off of peoples emotions. So i soak in all that rage and snap. I kicked the Garage door right down and was gonna light the place on fire, but my gf calmed me down. I was 100% extatic. Haven't had that happen since, but i really thought i would feel better if i quid drugs and alcohol. No Change. Now my Depression is coming back because its summer and my friends are all partying ect. I feel so lost guys..... im 24 and been like this since i was 15 or 16. Since quitting the drugs though it feels like i woke up from an 8 year dream. I think.. oh yeah i remeber when me and friends in school just did * this and this * like it was last year.. meanwhile it was many years ago. Feels like an elastic band and im at the end being pulled while my friends are all ahead. and i just NOW snapped and caught up. I feel fake, but since quitting weed i feel like i woke up kinda. Like i was numb for those years. Im really lost here.

You are not fake and you did the right thing by giving up the drugs as in the long run,
they could hurt you mentally and physically. Some people I know took drugs pretty
heavily and now go to NA classes. Maybe that is the route you should take to get
on the right track.

Hey Tye,

To people suffering from derealization the world appears unreal; insubstantial, but those suffering from depersonalization feel as though they are not real.

One of the less common side effects of Zoloft / sertraline can be anxiety, which is a known cause of derealization / depersonalization.

From http://www.drugs.com/sfx/zoloft-side-effects.html

"Less common:
Agitation, anxiety, or nervousness".

Check out https://www.google.com.au/search?cli...UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 such as:

Having really bad derealization from zoloft, anyone have this side ...
https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in.....n_from_zoloft/
Oct 31, 2014 - Everything feels unreal, never felt DR this strong before ive just taken 4mg of diclazepam (i think roughly 40mg of diazepam) to try and help.

Could Seraltine (zoloft) cause DP/DR - Discussion ...
www.dpselfhelp.com › Depersonalization Community › Welcome! › Discussion
Apr 13, 2012 - 12 posts - ‎6 authors
Page 1 of 2 - Could Seraltine (zoloft) cause DP/DR - posted in Discussion: I am so sick of this feeling of not being alive and not living life like I ...
Sertraline has helped me to recover - Treatment Options ... 5 posts 9 Nov 2013
Can zoloft make it worse? - Discussion 9 posts 7 Feb 2011
THE way i cured my DP - Recovery Stories! 12 posts 18 May 2010
zoloft withdrawal - Treatment Options 10 posts 6 Jun 2007
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depersonalization on zoloft - Anxiety and Stress Forum ...
ehealthforum.com › Mental Health › Anxiety and Stress Forum
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depersonalization on zoloft . Been on zoloft 100mg for 3wks I am feeling better but still having the feelings of not being real and that i am in a ...

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My previous post, which includes some appropriate therapeutic techniques, may be viewed at: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...s-and-helpless

DEPRESSION: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...510#post216510

GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...989#post223989

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ANGER MANAGEMENT:
View: http://ezinearticles.com/?Releasing-...ict&id=4744553 Other options: Take a couple of deep breaths; fill the lower part of your lungs first, THEN the chest. If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent you from allowing yourself to become angry, in the first place) it is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, perhaps by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards.

Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. "But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you. When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line." Try saying to yourself, in your mind: "I am fire! I am ice!". Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mind...Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) on page L at your-mental-health.weebly.com Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists" or www.tapping.com (13 free videos). Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (you could claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I sometimes make myself angry, I deeply and completely accept myself."

They will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and can also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others. Books: The Anger Workbook - a 13 step plan to help you. - Les Carter & Frank Minirth. - Minirth Meier Clinic Series, & Anger Management For Dummies. - W. Doyle. PhD. - Gentry, & "Feeling Good - the new mood therapy" by David D. Burns, (recommended) & Angry All The Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ron Potter-Efron. Try your library, local bookstore, or www.amazon.com for these. Check out: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/ 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines are at http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/s.html

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You could wean off Zoloft at 10% weekly, or replace with the same dosage of Prozac; stabilise for a week or so, then reduce to 50% for 2 weeks before discontinuing.

A doctor or psychiatrist may well prescribe another SSRI, or SNRI, but whether you fill that prescription is up to you; there are non pharmaceutical alternatives which don't cause DP / DR:

HERBAL ANXIOLYTICS: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...415#post225415

NON HERBAL NATURAL (NON PHARMACEUTICAL) ANXIOLTYICS: (5-htp, etc.) http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...lease!!!/page2

Hoping something in the above helps.

Do not go back to drugs or alcohol! They will make things worse in the long run. You have a girlfriend, so that is good. I would encourage you to join a gym and direct all that anger in a positive way. Maybe boxing or spin cycling. I saw a guy today at the gym really pushing himself but he looked so content in that he had set a goal and was working towards it. What are your interests and goals you want to set for yourself? Do you have a job to distract you and get you to interact with others so you feel more real? All the best to you.