Bad anxiety with doctors

I grew up in an abusive home and was in an abusive relationship. My fear is doctors. My abusive bf never or rarely let me see a doctor for injuries he caused. I did finally leave him.

When I sought help for old injuries (some required surgery) some doctors judged and blamed me for my past situation. Now I feel really anxious if I have to see one. My whole body trembles while in the exam room. It's like I'm bracing myself for negative comments. I tend to be quiet and not reveal a lot , answer questions they ask me but otherwise clam up. My parents and two older siblings have blamed and judged me too. I have trouble trusting people.

I have a doctors appointment later this week. I'm already feeling anxious even though I've seen him 5 or 6 times including two surgeries. I had surgery two weeks ago. Help.

Doctors are their to help you. Many people are anxious when they go to the doctor, so you are not alone in the way you feel.
Try to take some deep breaths and practice some form of relaxation exercise before you go and see if that helps. Good luck
and please let us know how you make out. I am sure you will be fine.

I had the same fear of docs but they saved my life so many times. My family doc is so bad, but I think about her like you would think about plummer. Profession, that all. Doctors are the same as us. So many of them are on meds for anxiety. It is hard to treat people. I agree with Kirk.
You have a white coat syndrome ;) It will pass

Thanks Kirk and Dahlia. Dahlia you said your family doc is bad. Do you mean bad bedside manners?

The surgeon who operated on my upper limb hasn't judged me. The first consult I had I wrote past domestic abuse reason for issues with limb. He's done two operations. Whenever he comes in the room he will ask how are things. I always answer okay or good even though I may feel like crap, nervous etc. I don't talk much. Sometimes I feel like he could be slightly frustrated with me but maybe because of my anxiety I think he is. First consult he said I looked tense. I didn't answer him. My latest surgery they started giving me sedation. He came into the operating room, asked how I was. I blurted nervous, then said I'll be ok. He rubbed and patted my shoulder a few times.

So yes I have hard time saying how I really feel, nervous etc. Maybe because I've had no support.If I told my parents I feel sad, nervous etc they would yell, insult or walk away. It hurt so that's why I have trouble saying I'm anxious, stressed, upset etc to others.

I'm not scared of needles and medical procedures. I'm anxious about being judged, not listened to.

MsButterfly she is a first class bitch. So many patients left her, now she is kind of nice, but she was causing my anxiety so bad..............eh I have also hard time to tell people I am nervous. Most people do not suspect me of anxiety disorder. Good actress I am ;))
I think it is a thing of age, I am almost on the end of my life journey so I do not care anymore, judge me to your heart desire. It will come when you will not care:))

No doctor has a right to judge you or not listen to you, but something they are that way. It's not right, it's wrong. What I do is just try to find a better doctor and leave the bad ones. Don't be afraid of going to the doctor? Are they paying you or are you paying them? They work for you! They are there to help you. Sometimes their egos get in the way. You should be proud of yourself getting through all you have endured and I would encourage you to reach out to any support groups for battered women to get more support for yourself.

Don't worry, Msbutterfly, we all get judged by many people at many times before. Honestly, even though they're doctors, you shouldn't listen to their negative comments. If they talk about the bad stuff about you, remember this: Nobody is perfect. So why try to think about negative things about you when you know that those negative things are really just the many factors that make you who you are? Ignore judgement if you feel like it'll help, get your mind off of it. Otherwise, find better doctors, and always know that we all have downsides. It's nature, and natural. But don't just focus on the negative, think about the positives about you, and use that to your advantage and make those positives overcome your negatives. You're not perfect, but doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy with yourself, or be anxious about judgement. We've all been there!

I so feel for you and what you have experienced in your past. Just know that you are not alone and there is help for what you are going through. Have you tried calling the doctors office and explaining your fear of doctors to them and asking if there is anything they can do to help you through it... or maybe taking a support person with you. You could write down what you want to tell the doctor and either read it to them or have your support person do it for you. I think you have shown such courage in getting yourself out of an abusive relationship and seeking help for the injuries you sustained during that time. There will always be people out there who will judge you but that mostly comes from their own insecurities. I will be praying for a peace upon you when you see the doctor later this week and continued strength as you work through your abusive past... hugs!

Thanks everyone. I dont have a support person to attend appointments with me. I could write down and tell the surgeon I've had past negative experiences with doctors due to past domestic violence. My interactions have been positive with this doctor. He hasn't judged me out loud. I don't discuss my past. He knows the first injury I had was from past abuse because I wrote it on paperwork which he had in his hands. Only one appointment he was super grumpy. Of course with my anxiety I automatically assume it's to do with me. I assume if he was going to judge me he would have by now.