Relapse/back on sertraline :(

Hi! Newbie here!
A brief history, I suffered with quite a few mental health issues when I was younger (I'm now 20) mainly anorexia, self harm and Ocd. I was put on 200mg of sertraline (Zoloft) when I was 14. The last year I was on 50-100mg depending on my circumstances. I lost my mum a year ago but apart from that I have been pretty mentally stable for the last couple of years.
I would say sertraline saved my life when I first started taking them but I just never got any help to come off them. So last December I decided to gradually ween off them. I managed 3 months without any medication and the first few weeks were fine..only physical side effects (mainly the brain zaps) but the last few weeks have been hell. Constant anxiety, extreme obsessive thoughts and being completely disconnected from the world. So today I started back on 50mg of sertraline...I do admit I feel disappoint in myself for not sticking without them for longer but I have come to a point where I just can't go outside the house without crippling anxiety. I have had to take time off work and my relationships have suffered greatly..
I am now experiencing the nausea expected. But because I am on a low dose I'm hoping it won't be as bad. I do feel like a failure right now because I can't function without medication however it was affecting my family too. Does anyone have any experiences with relapses after long periods of SSRI's? ( I was on them for around 7 years) I really hope to only need them for a few months but have a feeling I could be on them for another 7 years now It would be nice to talk to someone as it's hard to find people who understand. Sorry for the little rant! And thank you for any advice or encouragement!