I always feel like I'm being judged.
Printable View
I always feel like I'm being judged.
Hi, :)
I am not a guru or something to give you the best advice. However I feel you need to refocus your attention to something else. Do you have a hobby or a goal you could pursue? While shifting your attention and taking your time a hobby can also make your feel better about yourself, prouder :) One thing is not good (and know it is hard to change it) constantly being eager of what others say about you, this is when sometimes the mind starts to assume they are talking about you even when they are not at all. (been there... still recovering). Beleive me, no perfect human exists, accept yourself, love yourself and imporve as you see fit with baby steps :) Yes, there s criticism in the world, there will be time wen you have to face them, but it is up to you to differentiate, take in the constructve, valuable ones and build yourself from them while just shrug off the mean ones. In this worlds there is also love, beauty and all nice things waiting for you too! :)
Hey Roxana,
You seem to me to be suffering from social anxiety, and I'm unaware of what resources are available to you, but I'm informed that group therapy with others who have that disorder is an effective therapy, as well as exposure therapy; see my post on it at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...666#post223666
It's natural for people in a room, or on a bus, etc. to check out anyone entering it, so they know who's where around them. As long as they don't continue to stare, once you are seated and composed, it should be of no concern. Anything more may well be classified as experiencing some degree of paranoia.
Paranoid thoughts:
"Write down those paranoid thoughts and rank, on a scale of 1-100, how certain you are of them. Write down alternate thoughts or explanations and rate those 1-100. Go back to your paranoid thoughts and re-evaluate your convictions, 1-100. This is a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy technique".
Employ the Technique For Reprogramming Negative Thoughts: Negative thoughts often occur before negative emotions. It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, etc., by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Use the "Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts" - When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind.
After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version.
Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method. Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside" - Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Check out: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...noia&x=15&y=19 such as: The Paranoia Switch: How Terror Rewires Our Brains and Reshapes Our Behavior--and How We Can Reclaim Our Courage by Martha Stout, & The Paranoia of Everyday Life: Escaping the Enemy Within by Gerald Alper, &
Overcoming Paranoid and Suspicious Thoughts: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques by Daniel Freeman.
"Even if we have some vague idea that we are not our feelings or our thoughts, when we are experiencing painful feelings or painful thoughts, we believe we have to feel them or think them just because of the fact that they are occurring to us. But painful feelings can be indirectly controlled by physical action, and changing our present thoughts for different thoughts (since feeling occurs as a result of thinking.) Painful thoughts can be directly controlled by choosing replacement thoughts for the ones that are troubling us. Sure, it takes some practice to change a lifetime habit of suffering. But it can be done. Of course it can't be done if we choose to believe that it can't be done. But, since the choice is ours, why not choose to believe it can be done, and do it?"
Use an affirmation such as: "The feeling of paranoia has no basis in reality. I will stop feeling things that aren't real now". Repeat it a few times.
Check out http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogS...om%2FMain-Page and
http://www.ehow.com/search.html?s=pa...orporate&t=all such as:
How to Control Paranoia,
How to Treat Paranoia,
How to Deal With Paranoia,
How to Manage Paranoia, &
How to Overcome Paranoia.
Presentation anxiety:
Practise your presentation in front of a mirror, until you are proficient, then again in front of friends, or family.
Immediately prior to the appointed time, visualise yourself, as vividly as possible, performing well in delivering your presentation.
Ask yourself if you would have any difficulty making your presentation to them on a one-on-one basis.
Enter: "presentation anxiety" at wikihow.org & ehow.com and view the most relevant ones.
Check out Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com or your bookstore for some of the following:
Overcome Fear: Presentations And Speaking Guide To Overcome Fear And Shyness, Develop Self Confidence And Communication... by Ryan Cooper, &
Fearless Speaking: Beat Your Anxiety. Build Your Confidence. Change Your Life. by Gary Genard , &
The Public Speaking Super System: How I Overcame Stage Fright And You Can Too! (Public Speaking, Public Speaking... by Robert S. Watson.
Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't.
85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has ones about presentation anxiety, caring less about the opinions of others, meeting people, making small talk, stopping paranoid thoughts, etc. Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.
Below is a previous post on guilt, which I doubt would fit in the allowable character limit per post on this forum:
"There is no witness so dreadful, no accuser so terrible as the conscience that dwells in the heart of every man." - Polybius.
Realise, and accept that you, just like the rest of us, are only human, and therefore, fallible. We all make mistakes; do, or omit to do certain things, but the idea is to learn from them, and resolve not to make the same one again. Once having done this, it can be helpful to repeat an affirmation to yourself along the following lines, at least 3 times: "I may have made a mistake in ... ... and there are some things which can't be undone, no matter how much I regret it, so I firmly resolve to learn from this, and choose to forgive myself now, and move on".
Negative thoughts often precede negative emotions. Accordingly, it's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind.
After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.
Check out http://www.wikihow.com/wikiHowTo?search=guilt such as:
How to Eliminate Guilt: 13 Steps, &
How to Overcome Guilt by Taking Responsibility: 8 Steps, &
How to Overcome Feelings of Guilt: 12 Steps.
Read: Escaping Toxic Guilt: Five Proven Steps to Free Yourself from Guilt for Good! by Susan Carrell, & Good-Bye to Guilt: Releasing Fear Through Forgiveness by Gerald G. Jampolsky, & Stop Running Away: Confront the Guilt, Regret and Remorse That Haunt You by Timothy M. Wise, from your bookstore or enter "guilt" in the searchbar at Amazon.com for more media. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy. If unavailable, hypnosisdownloads.com has one about forgiving yourself, and overcoming guilt. Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.
"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing".
- John Powell.
Guilt is the source of sorrow, 'tis the fiend, Th' avenging fiend, that follows us behind, With whips and stings”
Insecurity:
Check out http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogS...8&q=insecurity such as:
How to Stop Being Insecure, and Just Love You: 14 Steps, &
How to Overcome Insecurity (with Pictures), &
Overcoming Shyness & Insecurities.
Read: "So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us", by Beth Moore, & "The Wisdom of Insecurity", by Alan W. Watts, & "Healing Your Insecurities" by Roy, Jr. Hicks, from your bookstore, or amazon.com
Practise a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mind...Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (a series of easy mental exercises only; no flexibility required) at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showth...951#post224951
They will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and are valuable methods of helping you through life's bad patches. Learn them at least a few hours apart, and preferably on different days, in the morning, or early afternoon. Use the one you find most effective.
Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind.
85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has ones about overcoming insecurity.
I feel that too. Also feel like people look at me too much. I've just learned to block them out with my headphones. Pretend like they aren't there. Which is unhealthy because it's draws back my confidence around people. Hope you deal with it a lot better than i do.