Anxiety leading to derealization and/or depersonalization

Since about August of 2015, I started having panic attacks. It started off slow, one a week, usually after I drank and had a hangover. The first time I had it was in my truck driving, so generally as with any panic issue (so ive heard) the place that caused or related to the panic will usually bring it back. Anyway, this continued for about 2 months before it got worse. I would literally hang out, bbq and party on Saturday, wake up Sunday to drive home, have a huge panic attack driving home, then sit on my couch for the entire day Sunday and freak out. I thought this was all health related, I thought I was going to die, or go into a coma etc. and eventually this became a daily fear of mine which in return created much more frequent and major panic attacks. Well finally in January of 2016, I went to the doctor for a full blood work, checkup and to get help.

My health was 100%, even had perfect blood pressure. He prescribed me Efexor for anxiety and Hydroxyline for the emergency pill (in case i had a panic attack). Well, I started taking the Effexor immediantly and boy did I feel like shit the first few days, dizziness, anxiety, panic attacks, sleeplessness etc. So to speed things up after about a month of taking it I said enough is enough and when I went back for my checkup, I told the doc it wasnt working and in fact probably made it worse. He prescribed me Selexa and told me to take a day off and then start taking the new pill. Well, the first day I didnt take Effexor WAS THE BEST DAY I HAD in around 3 months. I took Selexa the next morning, it made me feel off and nervous as well so I said to hell with the pills (like I usually do, I hate drugs) and told myself I was going to fix this with help from a counselor and from self help.

Now, this is where the "fun" kicked in. I think I had fucked my brain so much from OBSESSING over my health, dying, mental stability etc. even from before the meds (the meds made this way worse) that my body was trying to find a shut down method. So heres where we are now, Im stuck feeling like my life is a dream. I was once a fun, obnoxious, carefree dude, but now I can look out a window, ride in a car or kiss my fiance without wondering whats real, why am I here etc. and this has now stemmed the obsession of WILL THIS EVER STOP!? Im new to this whole DP/DR thing, I read about it in an article while trying to calm myself down and find answers and it was like someone smacked me with a ton of bricks, because it said word for word EVERYTHING i was feeling. But, unfortunately even after that peace of mind, im still finding myself staring into space basically watching me watch myself go through daily activities. Its super scary, one because this shit is stuff I would have NEVER let cross my mind before, I have always took pride in being a problem solver, being emotionally strong and of my intelligence, and I feel like this is taking a dump all over that. I need, no, HAVE to get this worked out. My anxiety has subsided, I havent had a panic attack in 2 weeks, (knock on wood) but now Im having to deal with this daily and sometimes I wish I could go back to having panic attacks because at least those ended.

Has anyone here experienced anything like this? If so how have you gotten over it? Have you gotten over it? How long did it take? What are some helpful insights to not feeling like a damn spectator of my LIFE? Also, if you are going through this and want to chat or whatever, feel free to hit me up, ive found talking about it helps me sometimes a little. This sucks, it is literally ruining my life right now, and from what i hear alot go through this but im still not for sure i believe that.

Thanks for taking your time to read this haha, good luck with all youre going through, from one anxious dude to another.