Not sure why this ALWAYS happens...

So I just wrote out a concise description of my life situation, and after clicking submit found I'd been logged out of the site without warning. Argh. I really need peer help these days, but it's gonna take a while to put my post back together.

The important bits:

I'm a 45-year-old woman, weirdly partnered and intentionally childless. I have been diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety disorder and was put on SSI 7 years ago with that diagnosis, which includes associated panic attacks and minor OCD.

I don't do change well but in the last year have lost my best friend (still alive but unable to understand the difference between "severe panic attack" and "annoying high school personality flaw from 25 years ago"), my MD (missing almost 6 months, word is he's okay but he never did come back to work), and access to the physical therapy pool where I had vigorously pursued fitness as a means of controlling both pain and anxiety (manufacturers ruined the pool then told me I wasn't strong enough for hydrotherapy, which the physical therapist is STILL trying to understand).

After a 7-week battle with our original phone & ISP carrier, we wound up with a totally new phone/internet/cable carrier because the original did nothing but lie to us, lie to our advocates, lie to the ISP we'd had for 8 years, and bill us for services not provided.

Two of my neighbors count as child abusers in my world, one psychological and the other both psychological and physical. One of them has been dousing me with allergens (KNOWINGLY) for the better part of 6 years and will not consider changing laundry products even after being told my allergy to artificial scent is now potentially LETHAL. Three trips to the ER in four days during Christmas week for me and I get to be the one to move out!