Please can someone suggest something *triggering*
I'm really desperate for some advice, to sum up a long story, I've had anxiety/panic attacks all my life and did a really good job of hiding it from people because I thought I was crazy. From about 13 I'd not eat for days because I felt constantly sick from anxiety from irrational fears of dying etc. I got diagnosed with Generalized anxiety when I was 17 and things got so bad I couldn't hide things from my family anymore, cbt didn't help in the slightest and I was prescribed Valium which helped calm me down significantly but lead to a Valium dependency and basically I will never be prescribed again. I'm 21 now and I've become completely agoraphobic, seeing anyone even family makes me feel I'm going to have a panic attack, I was meant to be starting uni in last month but haven't been in after the first week from constant panic attacks. I came close to attempting suicide after the last time I went in because I realised how little I can function when I'm constantly having panic attacks but got scared and chickened out (which sums things up quite well really) afterwards my head was a complete mess and it felt like nothing was real and I was completely zoned out and confused which was when I went to stay with boyfriend which slowly made me feel more normal again. My boyfriend has his own depression issues and I know staying there is having a negative impact on him so I've come back to my uni accommodation in a city I know zero people and all my roommates don't speak English. I've stopped speaking to pretty much all my friends over the course of the last 6 months, I don't have family I can stay with and I'm so lonely here it's driving me insane & I don't know what to do. I can't cope with anything and I don't know what I can do apart from ring the doctor which has only made things worse in the past so I don't know where to start. If anyone can suggest anything or has any advice I'll be so so grateful
