Hi There; I'm New Here and Stuff

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I have been suffering from OCD tendencies as well as what I imagine to be social anxiety for quite a while now, and I'm only in high school. I've never before joined an online community, mostly due to my experiencing a sensation of anxiety whenever I consider posting anything online, but lately I've been feeling EXTREMELY LONELY. Most of my friends know that I have some 'quirks' (giving a lot of attention to neatness and near perfection in my schoolwork, etc.), although I don't think any of them would understand the extent of my stress if I began to explain it to them.

First of all, I spend way too much time dwelling on even the most trivial of events from my past which I have a lot of difficulty ignoring, and I will experience something like a mini-panic attack whenever anything is not just so or whenever I'm forced to make a decision, all of which causes me to become considerably depressed a good part of the time. Tests, homework, essays, and projects for school stress me out beyond belief, especially since I'm in 11th grade and am looking at colleges, taking the SAT's and ACT's, and taking some AP classes with the AP exams coming up in about a week and a half. I also feel as though I'm incredibly awkward in social settings, such as in school everyday, and so I play over virtually every interaction I have with other students and teachers in my head over and over again. For these reasons, I feel like a lot of people think I'm such a weird person and are constantly judging me.

Well, that's all for my brief rant. I desperately want support in stopping these hindrances in my life, and that's why I joined this site. I really, really hope that I'll find some people here who can sympathize with me. It's not too easy feeling like no one knows what I'm talking about, even with help from therapists, medications, and a pretty supportive family.....

I really appreciate anyone who may have been reading this, and I hope to get to know some of you and how you deal with your anxieties soon. Thanks again! :D

Hello and welcome :)

There are many people here who can sympathise with you!

Gypsy x

Ironically, it is an original username. What you refer to as "OCD tendencies" can have some positive effects -- making you very diligent in your academic work, careful, etc. But of course it can also, at a certain point, make you miserable. So a key is to channel the positive elements, but shed the stress, etc. (Of course, when I say "channel" I mean to focus your direction -- I don't mean "channel" as in some insane person who thinks he can talk with spirits or speak to or on behalf of dead or imaginary people!).

There are lots of people who have done that quite successfully. I assume you are probably seeing a therapist. But if not, that could be helpful. We all tend to think our situation is unique, but it rarely is. Your situation is actually quite common. A good therapist will have some perspective that you would not have, and can very likely help you to help yourself.

Social isolation is another thing that can be tough, particularly in high school. But again, you are not alone there. It is VERY common. I will say that it tends to get much better in college. I have known a fair number of kids who has pretty miserable social experiences in high school, but did great socially in college. It is just a totally different world. I know that does not help you much now, but it is something to look forward to.

If you stick around here a bit, you will probably get some good insights and advice. And you may be able to help some others here. A fair number of kids your age come here, and they could use the perspective of a guy your age (rather than people my age -- I have kids around your age!).

You sound like a smart person. Once you get the issues you are facing under control -- which you will -- you have a great future ahead of you. And the things that you will have overcome will make you a stronger and more compassionate adult.

Thanks a lot to those who have replied to me and welcomed me. I've looked at this website for some time before registering and you guys seem to be a very close-knit and supportive community here.

And yes, Kuma, I am currently seeing a new therapist for my anxiety who seems to be helping more than any other ones I've been to which is a pretty good sign lol. Still, sometimes it feels like therapy is such a slow process in achieving positive results :(

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Originally Posted by UnoriginalUsername

Thanks a lot to those who have replied to me and welcomed me. I've looked at this website for some time before registering and you guys seem to be a very close-knit and supportive community here.

And yes, Kuma, I am currently seeing a new therapist for my anxiety who seems to be helping more than any other ones I've been to which is a pretty good sign lol. Still, sometimes it feels like therapy is such a slow process in achieving positive results :(

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Yea, therapy can be a slow process. It is also not a spectator sport. Just "showing up" at therapy rarely works. Change is hard. (Nearly everything worthwhile is hard). The therapist can provide guidance and perspective. But there's a lot of personal effort, taking risks, moving beyond your comfort zone, etc. involved. A good thing is that, at age 17 or so, you are not so set in your ways that you can't change. And of course with a long time ahead of you, it is well worth the effort.

One final point: Don't expect to be free of all stress. That would be expecting too much. There's stuff that's inherently stressful, including SAT/ACT, AP classes, college applications, and even some of the senior year social stuff (prom, graduation, etc.). As my therapist told me, "being human is not easy." So I don't think the goal is to eliminate stress. That's not realistic. A better goal is to handle stress better.

Good luck to you. I suspect you will overcome this stuff and do well.