Help... My anxiety is causing me to self-harm

I have known about my anxiety for about 2 years and i am taking Citalopram and Diazepam. There have been a lot of deaths in my family which brought out my anxiety. When i found out my grandad was going to die, to distract myself i picked up a blade and cut my arm. The pain distracted me from having anxiety attacks at first but now since he has died, i crave it. I am scared of my own thoughts. If i see a knife or sharp object i want to use it to cut on my arm and i don't understand why no more. I have told my doctor about cutting myself, but not the part about actually craving it. He has referred me to a therapist which may take weeks, and these urges seem to be getting stronger. I am frightened.

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Originally Posted by Yazzy

I have known about my anxiety for about 2 years and i am taking Citalopram and Diazepam. There have been a lot of deaths in my family which brought out my anxiety. When i found out my grandad was going to die, to distract myself i picked up a blade and cut my arm. The pain distracted me from having anxiety attacks at first but now since he has died, i crave it. I am scared of my own thoughts. If i see a knife or sharp object i want to use it to cut on my arm and i don't understand why no more. I have told my doctor about cutting myself, but not the part about actually craving it. He has referred me to a therapist which may take weeks, and these urges seem to be getting stronger. I am frightened.

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HI

I dont have experience with that, but I am hoping you get the compassion and help needed. Does other releases of the pain help? Such as journaling? Check out this forum as well.

http://www.psychforums.com/cutting-self-injury/

Yazzy:

I understand the sense of hopelessness and sadness that death and anxiety together can bring to a person. I strongly encourage you to see a therapist about your self-harm and begin to eliminate that kind of help from your repertoire. Don't lose hope. You are a beautiful person, regardless of anything else that is going on in this world.

I would encourage you to call around, or perhaps have a friend or family member do so, and find a therapist that can see you quicker than a few weeks out. I know my therapist and I had our first appointment within 3-4 days of my initial call, but it all depends on where you are and how many people offer the services.

I truly wish you the best of luck and happiness to you.

I doubt this is the sort of reply that you want to hear but someone has got to say it. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, you NEED to go to the E.R. to be treated. You can be referred to a program where you can get help right away rather than having to wait for help. I'm not making random suggestions, I am speaking from experience. Please do not let the urge or 'cravings' to harm yourself escalate any further or it may be too late. It is NOT too late to get additional help ASAP.

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Originally Posted by jpkirkpa

Yazzy:

I understand the sense of hopelessness and sadness that death and anxiety together can bring to a person. I strongly encourage you to see a therapist about your self-harm and begin to eliminate that kind of help from your repertoire. Don't lose hope. You are a beautiful person, regardless of anything else that is going on in this world.

I would encourage you to call around, or perhaps have a friend or family member do so, and find a therapist that can see you quicker than a few weeks out. I know my therapist and I had our first appointment within 3-4 days of my initial call, but it all depends on where you are and how many people offer the services.

I truly wish you the best of luck and happiness to you.

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Thank you for your reply. I have seen a number of therapists and hypnotherapists in the past about my anxiety attacks. Some were just after my money and others didn't make any difference and I seem to be going in a vicious circle. I'm so glad that you got the help you needed. May I ask what you had therapy for? When I think I am getting on track, someone else dies. During an attack I wish there was a therapist I could ring then and there but you have to make a appointment in advance.

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Originally Posted by winnwinn

I doubt this is the sort of reply that you want to hear but someone has got to say it. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, you NEED to go to the E.R. to be treated. You can be referred to a program where you can get help right away rather than having to wait for help. I'm not making random suggestions, I am speaking from experience. Please do not let the urge or 'cravings' to harm yourself escalate any further or it may be too late. It is NOT too late to get additional help ASAP.

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Thank you for your reply. I don't want to kill myself or anything like that. But I guess these cravings could get worse. I really don't want my mental health issues on file. How did you get through it?

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Originally Posted by Yazzy

Thank you for your reply. I don't want to kill myself or anything like that. But I guess these cravings could get worse. I really don't want my mental health issues on file. How did you get through it?

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Yazzy, if you are not thinking about killing yourself but those things pop in your mind, remember that intrusive thoughts are so common and one of the scariest symptoms of anxiety. It is hard not to ignore them but loads of anxiety sufferers have them.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I also self-harm and have been for the last 12 years. It's not something I know how to stop. Whenever I get pushed over the edge I will cut myself or start pulling my hair out. I wish I could give you advice on how to stop this, but I really can't. I just want you to know that you aren't alone. I'm very sorry you are going through this and it pains me to know that there are other people who feel what I feel. There is a big difference between self harm and being suicidal, but I don't think a lot of people on the outside (anxiety-free folks) can understand that. Sometimes when I get "pushed past my breaking point" I feel extremely suicidal, but they are just thoughts and feelings and not something I would ever act on. I know how terrible it makes you feel. My best advice, be it poor, is to just try to go to your happy place. For me, that is being in my room, sometimes on my bed, other times on my computer, and surrounding myself with my dogs. I'm sure you have a happy place that you could go to when you are feeling really bad.

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Originally Posted by Aleasha

I am so sorry you are going through this. I also self-harm and have been for the last 12 years. It's not something I know how to stop. Whenever I get pushed over the edge I will cut myself or start pulling my hair out. I wish I could give you advice on how to stop this, but I really can't. I just want you to know that you aren't alone. I'm very sorry you are going through this and it pains me to know that there are other people who feel what I feel. There is a big difference between self harm and being suicidal, but I don't think a lot of people on the outside (anxiety-free folks) can understand that. Sometimes when I get "pushed past my breaking point" I feel extremely suicidal, but they are just thoughts and feelings and not something I would ever act on. I know how terrible it makes you feel. My best advice, be it poor, is to just try to go to your happy place. For me, that is being in my room, sometimes on my bed, other times on my computer, and surrounding myself with my dogs. I'm sure you have a happy place that you could go to when you are feeling really bad.

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Thank you Aleasha. I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with self harm for so long. I'm glad you have got a happy place to go too. My room is mine too, but I tend to turn into a hermit and not want to leave, so it's a bit of a vicious circle. Have you had any therapy? If you don't minde asking... Do you go to work? I find it especially hard at work since we sell knives, which gives me such bad urges to cut myself. It was bad enough before when I couldn't get to work coz I was so anxious. Thank you for your reply xx

I'm sorry to hear about that. Currently, I don't harm myself, but I have in the past and I often feel desires to act out. I don't know if it's the same for you, but I know that when I feel like cutting myself, I have a lot of anxious energy. It's as though I need something to squeeze or hold on to. Cutting is one way to release that energy, but there are better ways to release it (ways that don't involve hurting yourself).

Working out can help you. Even doing a few stretches can help.