Should you tell your boss about your anxiety problems?

This is something that came up elsewhere.

Do you tell your boss about your anxiety? Should you? I know every situation is different but I'm going to argue, with my employer's hat on, that you should.

There's little worse as an employer than having a good member of staff throwing random 'sickies' just when you need them most. If there's a genuine reason for not being able to make it to work, or being late, or having to leave half way through a shift, then you can, and as an employer I'd argue you should, make genuine exceptions to the rules.

If someone is off, and doesn't tell you the genuine reason and makes something up that's obviously false, or provides no explanation then your options are seriously limited, ultimately it's going to end up with disciplinary action and things are bound to get ugly, probably with only one possible destination. The door.

I know it's hard to tell your employer you're struggling. What if they just decide you're not good employee material, and use it as an excuse to get rid of you? It's possible I suppose but I'm afraid that wasn't a very good boss, and I'd argue that you would ultimately be better off somewhere else anyway. This'd be the sort of boss who wouldn't be understanding about you having to take genuine time off if you needed it, and you're back to heading towards the door again.

Don't forget that your boss has almost certainly been through plenty of stressful situations themselves to get where they are, so there is a good chance they'll recognise your condition from their own experience. If they don't know much about it - maybe they'll value you educating them. You don't make much of a boss if you're not prepared to learn something new!

Don't forget also that you're not going to be the first person they've employed with anxiety, stress, personality disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar , phobia - you name it. I've employed many hundreds of people in my small businesses over the past 20 years. If there's something I've not yet seen among those, I'd be very surprised. People are a diverse bunch, with very different skills, personalities, quirks and ailments. If you think you're the only one they've had, you're going to be mistaken. If they fired everyone who's a bit strange, or who is high maintenance, they'd have no staff left, and they'd be losing some of their best staff.

Finally, your OCD, your attention to detail, your obsessive perfection, your eye for matching patterns and spotting things that are just 'wrong', are possibly the exact skills your boss might want!

What do you think? Anyone had any experiences, good or bad, that might help others? I'd love to hear them.

Faking it in life is a terrible idea if you don't have the confidence to fake it, or can't keep it up, that's for sure. I've been to interviews, especially those recently after my breakdown, whereby I tried to act like Mr. Cool, Calm and Collected. And actually I just ended up choking. Owning your issues in life is a must. You sort of get to go with the flow once you do, instead of fighting against them. Goodness knows how I'd have coped if I were hired back then.

I've never thought about going one step further and learning to sell them and yourself to an employer, offering understanding for the ability to provide a very useful service to them. In the right situation, with the right boss, it'd be interesting. Better than just lying and acting like you're fine and having to keep up that act.

The closest I've ever gotten to owning up to anxiety in the workplace is admitting to interviewers that I struggle with interview nerves. I always thought doing such a thing would make me appear like a loser, but the opposite happens actually. I get given a little extra time to answer Q's, the interviewer becomes a little more friendly. I don't feel admitting that weakness has ever hindered me. I even get to pass on the idea that I get nervous because I really like the company and want to work for them.

I'd say if I were sick, and thought I was able to reach a compromise with my boss, I'd tell them. I think the difficulty comes as many anxiety sufferers can have esteem issues and doubt themselves before opening up. Some companies are also pretty outdated with the way they do business.

Unfortunately many companies are very out of date.

I hear so many people say that they're dreading going to work on a Monday. If I heard any of my staff say that, it'd kill me.

Employers do need staff who can solve problems in times of stress and when under pressure. It's all relative - I'm not talking about wolf-of-wallstreet type pressure - but if someone has anxiety and can't face it sufficiently to try and face their own problems, I do have to question how much effort they'll put in to facing mine.

I can't think of a better demonstration of this ability that someone who can say - "I struggle with doing this or that, so I make this provision, this plan and do this".

If anyone is thinking "Nobody would want to employ someone with my problems" then they're wrong. We all have issues, all have problems and skeletons in cupboards, the World belongs to those who take ownership and responsibility for them.