i am losing hope

I am losing hope everyday, i dont want to die, but i wish i would go to sleep and not wake up. i dont have a bf...or a job...or really anything going for me anymore. I used to be able to work and have bfs...but my anxiety hit really bad at 24...and i havent worked full time sense then...that was 6 years ago....ive had one before since that time....and he pretty much let me know how i was going to hurt his life being the way that i am....so he dumped me and got engaged to someone else really quick...and they are happy....all of my exs are married....and i just keep wondering why i am messed up....why cant i just be normal.....im so tired of living this way.

Hi Normabates. Sorry you are having such a hard time. We can relate to what you are dealing with. But don't think you are "not normal." Millions of people deal with anxiety. It can be really tough but it does not mean you are not normal and it does not mean you can't live a happy and fulfilling life. You just need to figure out some strategies for dealing with the anxiety. Have you tried some counseling or psychotherapy? If you find the right therapist, that can be very helpful. Also post a bit on the General forum. You will see there are many others dealing with this.

Do not give up. If you have the attitude that you are not going to be a victim and you are going to beat this and live a good happy and fulfilling life, you can do it! But most of us can't do it without some help, so I do encourage you to get some help if you have not already done so. Welcome to this forum, and best wishes.