Left by wife 2 years ago, still terrified. (have GAD)

Hello all,

The title pretty much sums it up. I have had GAD my whole life and am now 32. My wife of two years ago left me for better opportunities. I only make limited money but am hit with legal stuff all the time from her. She's very mean and on top of dealing with learning to cope with anxiety slowly, I start to make progress, then she does something that makes my whole tower of progress crumble as I desperately try to keep it upright. I've been starting over from the bottom for as long as I can remember and am getting tired. Sometimes I will make incredible progress over months, then bam, hit with something scary and new. I am very strong overall, even a state champion martial artist, but I'm so weak in my anxiety state. I promised I will never give up, but I feel like I'm doomed to repeat this cycle forever with 0 hope of good management.. Has anyone ever been here?? I make wonderful progress otherwise. Had I never been married, I would probably have made great strides in my anxiety journey by now. Thanks guys and girls. So tired.

Hello there your ex wife does not sound a nice person at all.
Maybe she can see that your doing well and don't like it?
Some people don't want to be with you but still don't like you doing well.
Anxiety takes it out of you and make you tired.
The thing is people that don't have it never understand but also what the don't seem to understand is that anyone can get a panic attack and it turn in to GAD so fast.
You have proved how strong you are without her
Don't let her win no matter how you feel as this I think is what she wants you to do
Do you have a new partner?

I would think the techniques you learn in martial arts might be helpful in combatting anxiety.

My wife left me in 06 and did all this vindictive shit too.
Then, dropped off both little girls on my front porch and moved out of state, for me to take care of.
While I was forced to continue paying child support to HER!
You'll get through this tough time friend...
Wishing you well.

E-Man.

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Originally Posted by TheSeeker

Hello all,

The title pretty much sums it up. I have had GAD my whole life and am now 32. My wife of two years ago left me for better opportunities. I only make limited money but am hit with legal stuff all the time from her. She's very mean and on top of dealing with learning to cope with anxiety slowly, I start to make progress, then she does something that makes my whole tower of progress crumble as I desperately try to keep it upright. I've been starting over from the bottom for as long as I can remember and am getting tired. Sometimes I will make incredible progress over months, then bam, hit with something scary and new. I am very strong overall, even a state champion martial artist, but I'm so weak in my anxiety state. I promised I will never give up, but I feel like I'm doomed to repeat this cycle forever with 0 hope of good management.. Has anyone ever been here?? I make wonderful progress otherwise. Had I never been married, I would probably have made great strides in my anxiety journey by now. Thanks guys and girls. So tired.

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"Had I never been married, I would probably have made great strides in my anxiety journey by now"

This is not true, greater strides are possible if you understand and accept your experiences and grow from them rather than deny or place blame.

You change first, then they change. Look no further than your own mean streak, if you see that in others.

However the anxiety started long ago as a child. Where you were treated poorly, at that time you decided no one was ever going to hurt you in that way. So you took up the arts. At that point you became the aggressor, where now you play the passive victim. Either way these states are both extremes, you could never find the neutral ground which is where you need to be.

No blame, no guilt, no hatred there. The arts were meant to teach you balance but the past reared it's ugly head all to often. You didn't have a chance. To learn..until now. The ex wife you find is more formidable than any fighting foe, you feel powerless under her weight. Power then you see is not determined in the fists, but in the mind. You are playing a game, where she is strong and you are weak, because that's what you feel you deserve. Punishment.

As a child you did nothing wrong, as an adult you followed the child's beliefs. It's time to give yourself a break, and find the real you through all this mess. You can do it, and in the meantime, until you change, and thus things around you change, accept what happens to you as happening to the old you, and give the new you some time to get your footing.