Feeling Emotionless (I think...)

Feeling emotionless (I think)...?

First off, I have PDD-NOS with Aspergers behaviors, ADHD, and Anxiety. I take Vyvanse (30mg), Ability (5mg), and Gabapentin (500mg) per day.

Anymore, I feel really emotionless. Nothing I do is driven by emotion or passion, but rather by instinct. I feel like I have to. I never feel like I WANT to any
thing.

Secondly, I feel no attachment to any of my Family or Friends, or even myself. I'm not saying I want I want to die, but down deep, there's nothing that tells me I want to live.

I can't cry when I should, as my body PHYSICALLY holds back my emotions, until I have a mental breakdown.

When I DO cry, it's not because I'm really sad, rather, it's because of change of routine, or because of anxiety. It's ALWAYS one or the other.

Thirdly, I'm always either wishing I could go back in time, wishing I could live in a fantasy world, or wishing I had someone I could truly rely on. I know it's not real thinking, but it hurts so bad.

I'm always doubting my religion, and beliefs. I feel helpless a lot, like everyone is so much more talented then me.

I constantly want to write dark hurt/comfort stories, and I think it's to encourage myself, but it never does.

I a lot of trouble expressing myself. I never smile or laugh because I'm happy, for it's all just an act to fit in.

Anyway, that's not all of it, but I haven't got all day to explain it. Does anyone know what could be going on? Anybody have any suggestions? This has been going on for about four or five years, when I started taking Abilify.

Enduroman knows a lot about it, he is on it, ask him. We do have some threads about it, on Medication subforum. I am on gabapentin and for me it is life saver. I am on 900 mg and it helps with my anxiety. The additional benefit is my back pain:)
Karina welcome to the forum :)

Welcome Karina!

The flat feelings may be caused by the fact that your system has become used to or become accustomed to your present dose of medications.
I take the Abilify at a 10mg dose but I believe the max dose for it is around 30mg per day.
I also have ADD/ADHD and take Ritalin for that too.
You may just need to share these thoughts with your current doctor to see if an increase in one, or all of your medications would benefit you.
Hopes for a good day!

Enduronman. :)

Hi Karina, welcome.

I don't doubt that the meds may be playing a part of your flat feelings, but don't forget a diagnosis of PDD-NOS also affects your ability to relate or feel. It's not that you don't want to, your brain just probably processes information differently and there is nothing wrong with that.

If I were you I would check with your doctor and adjust the meds if necessary.

Good luck