Desperately looking for common experiences/success stories (Long Post, please help)

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05-03-2014, 07:21 AM
jellywhirl

Desperately looking for common experiences/success stories (Long Post, please help)

My family has a history of anxiety, depression, and PMDD. Things have gotten so much worse for me now. I am 19 years old, I have agoraphobia with panic disorder, chronic anxiety, and depression. I don't work, and I don't go to school, I haven't even learned how to drive, yet! I thought taking a year off would help my anxieties... but it's only made it worse..!

Sometimes I dont leave the house for days, weeks even.. Sometimes I think the house makes me crazy.. always paranoid and jittery.

Last month was a complete doozy. About two weeks before my menstrual cycle, something in me just snapped. I couldn't function.. I was pacing the floor, constantly crying, shaking, rocking myself.. I couldn't eat, and when I did eat, I couldn't keep anything down. I couldn't sleep and when I did sleep, it was irregular and interrupted.. I woke up every hour! Those intense feelings went away after a few days of bleeding, but I am still not 100% myself..

sleeping is still hard for me unless I take 1mg of Lorazepam before bed because otherwise, I get too anxious and twitch and gasp myself awake.

I can't concentrate on anything, I try reading stuff, but the letters just become "jumbled" and "foggy" and sometimes I seem too lost in my thoughts to even pay attention to my surroundings and live in the now.

And even when i try to watch a relaxing or distracting show, I just think, "Who cares? Who freaking cares?" It's like... all my passion disappeared after that menstrual episode.

I started taking 50mgs of zoloft about a month ago and I'm still waiting for it to kick in..

But I want to know.. can I overcome this? Has anyone else been stuck in a mental hole like this? Please, will I be okay?
05-03-2014, 11:20 AM
geniusmistakes

It does get better and can take some time. It doesn't seem like you are on enough medicine. . . It can take a while to find the right mix. I am also on 50 mg of zoloft with 2 other medications as well and just started feeling better with Abilify. Try to do one thing everyday even if it is just showering and getting dressed. . . Understand it feels like living under a dark cloud and it sucks. Medication and therapy will help and it does take some time.
05-03-2014, 01:47 PM
kthotti

I have same problems. Always crying,plapitations,head feels heavy,no interest in anything even comedies,jittery,afraid,sad,negative.............. Do not know what to do
05-11-2014, 01:21 PM
olivia4514

Well I was stuck in this kind of a mental hole for months. I still am. But not like I used to. Now those extreme lows left me empty and such. I'm working on getting out of this condition.
And yes you can overcome this, you have to stand up to all those things, one by one. Time is a good healer but it doesn't change much if you don't do anything. You better be a figter if you really want to overcome this.
I'm pulling for you :)
05-11-2014, 02:11 PM
Darkcloud

Oh I completely understand about PMDD as I'm experiencing the same thing. This last cycle was terrible. I always feel really on edge a few days before it starts, like I could explode. I couldn't sleep and I was full of rage. I cried for like 4 hrs straight. It's hard to understand what's going on with your emotions. It's hard for people who don't have this issue to understand. I wish I knew this answer, but I'm still working in that myself. You can message me anytime if you want to talk. It definitely helps talking to people who understand. Hang in there!
05-13-2014, 02:10 PM
kthotti

Quote:

Originally Posted by olivia4514

Well I was stuck in this kind of a mental hole for months. I still am. But not like I used to. Now those extreme lows left me empty and such. I'm working on getting out of this condition.
And yes you can overcome this, you have to stand up to all those things, one by one. Time is a good healer but it doesn't change much if you don't do anything. You better be a figter if you really want to overcome this.
I'm pulling for you :)

Iam always crying and I always feel empty . How to over come emptyness inside? Please help me.
05-13-2014, 02:11 PM
kthotti

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkcloud

Oh I completely understand about PMDD as I'm experiencing the same thing. This last cycle was terrible. I always feel really on edge a few days before it starts, like I could explode. I couldn't sleep and I was full of rage. I cried for like 4 hrs straight. It's hard to understand what's going on with your emotions. It's hard for people who don't have this issue to understand. I wish I knew this answer, but I'm still working in that myself. You can message me anytime if you want to talk. It definitely helps talking to people who understand. Hang in there!

Are u talking to me ?
05-13-2014, 03:14 PM
olivia4514

Quote:

Originally Posted by kthotti

Iam always crying and I always feel empty . How to over come emptyness inside? Please help me.

I'm kinda trying to fill that emptiness too. I read that hanging with people helps a lot. Finding love and support. But you can't completely rely on other people either. You need to find what makes you happy like hobbies - sport,writing,drawing or even watching movies or listening to music. I haven't figured out comletely how it works yet but I'm on my way I guess. One thing is for sure, crying and drowning in your sorrow won't do a lot of good. Depression is like hell on this Earth and it can take you it's hostage for a long time but you need to find all the remaining strenght inside you and try to use it for getting out of it. Easier said than done, believe me I know.
My ocd is also holding me back a lot in everything but I still try :) I'm pulling for ya too fella :)
oh and if possible find a shrink too, I'm not really for that shit but there are a few that might help :)