Hi All! Introducing myself. Anxiety, OCD, and more.

Hi everyone.

I sought out this forum because recently my girlfriend of three years told me she wants to have a baby in the near future and needs me to decide if I'm on board or not. I've never planned on having a baby, but I'm challenging myself to look at the possibility. My girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship and I know I could raise a successful family with her and stay with her for the rest of my life. However, the thought of having a baby strikes terror into my soul. For the last few days, I have not been able to shake it. It is an absolute obsession and the fear can be paralyzing. I know that my fear and obsession is distorted thinking, but that doesn't stop it from taking a major toll on my and my relationship.

Hope to get some support from this forum. Thanks everyone!

Hey there Jiffy.
I hate to be a broken record, but obviously you aren't alone in this. I'm beyond terrified when I think of having my own children. I'm great with kids, and everyone tells me that I'm going to be an amazing mom one day.. but in my head, none of that matters. Terrified is terrified, simple as that.
However, have you tried explaining to her in the same way that you wrote your post? I mean, it could upset her just for the fact of the matter, but then again, she could be more understanding than you think. If I was in the same situation, I'd more than likely sit down with a pen and paper to try to come up with the best explanation as possible.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by After5hock

Hey there Jiffy.
I hate to be a broken record, but obviously you aren't alone in this. I'm beyond terrified when I think of having my own children. I'm great with kids, and everyone tells me that I'm going to be an amazing mom one day.. but in my head, none of that matters. Terrified is terrified, simple as that.
However, have you tried explaining to her in the same way that you wrote your post? I mean, it could upset her just for the fact of the matter, but then again, she could be more understanding than you think. If I was in the same situation, I'd more than likely sit down with a pen and paper to try to come up with the best explanation as possible.

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Thank you for that. One thing that helps with my anxiety is to make sure I'm being completely honest and upfront with my girlfriend. If she decides she wants a partner that is "100%" sure about wanting a family, then that is her decision to make. I have told her how much anxiety it brings up. She is somewhat understanding, but she is also 32, and her clock is ticking. She has expressed that she doesn't have much time to wait around for me to "figure things out"... which just gives me more anxiety. :eek:

We've been in couples therapy for a while now and it has been a great tool in building our relationship, but this is the first time that she has really laid down an ultimatum. We have an appointment tomorrow and I will be sure to express how I'm feeling.

I appreciate the feedback!

I really hope things go fine.<3
(Not to be too forward) but if life shoves you, don't just fall to the ground. Keep your head up, and if you can't.. they make these posture collars with a chin spike that'll be sure to help. Lol.