Hello Everyone! New to this!

Hello!

I've never been in an active forum before, and have no experience with anxiety forums, but I figure it can only help me! One of the main things I struggle with, is feeling like I am alone, like no one in the world understands me or what I'm going through. I guess I'm here to find people I can relate too, find people that feel similar to me & we can find a way to cope with every day anxiety as well as many other mental disabilities that I struggle with. My name is Jasmine, I am a diagnosed bipolar, and currently have not been on medication for 3 years (due to not having health insurance), I've always struggled with anxiety and symptoms of PTSD due to trauma I faced as a kid, but recently I've started having the worst panic attacks. I can tell myself all day that it's in my head & try to talk myself out of it, calm myself down, deep breathing, and everything else google tells me to do, but somehow nothing works, my mind always returns to the panic. It's so overwhelming. I have had many suicide attempts in my life time and the scariest thing about the panic attacks is I'm more scared of MYSELF & what I may possibly do to myself because the panic attack is so strong and takes over me. I don't know what exactly I'm getting at, but if any one has any tips, they would be GREATLY appreciated! I'm here to seek help, and friends who understand me and don't just think I'm 'crazy' (whatever that means). Any input is appreciated!

Thank you all!
Jasmine

Hey Jasmine, welcome, it sounds like you've really been struggling and I sincerely hope things start looking up for you.
It's hard to know what to do when you're in an attack so strong like that. I can only hope that sharing my experience will help you feel a little less alone.
Since my attempt, I sat with my family and friends and we worked up a plan, step by step, what I do when the feelings first start, what to do if they persist. When nothing I do can bring my anxiety down, and I feel that I am going to hurt myself, I call a friend or family member just to come and be with me, they take away anything I can use to hurt myself, and make sure I am OK. It took me a while to be able to make the decision to call for help when I felt that way, but I realized, I don't want my life to end, I just want all the emotion and pain to go away. That is something that can get better with time.
I wish you all the best.