Looking for Guidance...

This is tough for me as I usually never talk about my anxiety but here it goes...

I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was 10 I had nightmares, when I was 13 I had this sick to my stomach feeling which was then diagnosed as IBS and when I was 16, it sort of took hold and I became an introvert and basically collapsed into myself. The thing is, anxiety, or at least my anxiety, has never let me claw my way back out into the ‘real’ world. For as long as I can remember I have felt like a performer. I’m awkward, even to people I’ve known all my life. Eye contact is a problem and so I fake it. I say the right things, act a certain way and am ‘so laid back I’m almost horizontal’. But being like that is a battle. Every day, I wake up, tell myself today is going to be a good day and hope that it will be. Don’t get me wrong, I never used to let it get the best of me. I used techniques – breathing, muscle tension – and still work and go out but sometimes I just can’t do those things. I can’t go into a room full of people. I may know one person, but that one person will be expecting a conversation and all I will be thinking about is escaping the oppressive atmosphere. I’ve been prevented from joining societies even for applying for jobs. From going on holidays and even from visiting friends. And I'm fine with that because I can deal with it.


But lately my anxiety has hit an all-time low. I’ve developed a phobia of travelling, especially of trains or enclosed spaces where I know I can’t escape. Not a good combination when you have IBS that is triggered by stress. So now, new experiences not only make me anxious but terrify me. I get panic attacks, my whole body goes hot and cold and I shake. The only relief I have is being alone long enough to calm myself down. But, as you can imagine, doing that when your forced to stay in an enclosed space is impossible. So now, it’s gotten to the point where I can’t leave the house without a time limit. (You will only be out for two hours. Two hours and then you can be home). I've been put on medication, only beta blockers, and there’s been suggestions that Vallium may help. I’m waiting for counselling but all I can think is – will it really make a difference? I've had these problems for so long that I doubt a 6 week course of counselling will make a difference. But I'm afraid that if it remains uncontrollable I won't be able to leave the house, which is the point I feel I'm getting too.

Look forward to some advice.

Welcome.

You're at the right place and quite honestly, your story although unique to you is quite common here and for anyone else struggling with this degree of anxiety intensity.
The IBS can also be caused by diet as well as stress, but I'm sure you were probably made aware of that after the diagnosis..animal product foods can feed IBS.
You are doing the exact right things by taking medication, (yes valium will help greatly) and by planning a 6 week therapy session too.
As you said, you won't be "fixed" in 6 weeks but you will have learned some new and useful ways to "help you to better cope" with all these situations and events,..easier.

There are people here, that have gone from this point where you NOW are, to walking around the block and doing things that they never thought possible...in 4 weeks.

Stick around, you'll see!!

E-Man... :)

PS: Never talking about your anxiety, only feeds the anxiety itself....be open, honest, transparent, and it will be another aspect of how to make it go away.. :)

You're in great company - there are people here who completely understand what you're going through. Don't be afraid to share your anxiety, E-Man is right. Just getting things off your chest helps immensely.

Frankie!!! ^^^^.....Yes, about you and your 4 week progression of real forward motion..
Still proud of you, Teeny tiny steps or safety zones or not,...still making huge improvements.

Have a great day today! and you too STP!!

E-Man..:)