New to the forum, first time trying anything like this, having bad anxiety

Hi everyone.

I'm new to this. I figured doing the same thing over and over won't change anything so I'll try something new.
My name is Jason. I'm 31.
I've always had anxiety since I can remember. Even at 5 years old. But I was able to manage it with.
I started smoking marijuana when I was 17. I quickly became something I felt that I had to do after school or work to relax. It would just make all my negative thoughts go away. I wouldn't think about anything and could just watch a movie or play a game with friends and relax and have fun.
The best year of my life was when I was in my third year of a relationship, going to school, and working at the same time. I was busy but felt I could cope. This was back in 2003. I would smoke just a little bit at night to help me relax and sleep.
When my father died in march of 2004, I felt like everything was over. I used to go to him for advice and he would always make me feel better. Also, a couple of years before that, I lost my best friend, who was like a brother to me, since 8 years old, to schizophrenia. I was always shy and reluctant to go out, because of feeling nervous, and he would push me to do things.
When my father died I stopped working and going to school. Would smoke all day everyday. It really put a strain on my relationship at the time. Her name was Diana.
After a tough year, I went back to school and finished 2 year college. I worked here and there, but had made an arrangement with my fiancee that she would work and I would do all the house chores, cook, clean, walk the dogs, etc.
This masked my anxiety but it was still there. I would still smoke too much and had no goals or ambitions. She was living with me in my mother's house. I lived with her at my mother's for 7 years. I'm embarrassed to say I am still living at home.
A lot of my anxiety would come out as anger and she ended up leaving me in june 2010. That's when I thought I was going to die. I couldn't sleep more than 3 hours. I felt like I needed to be hospitalized.
I couldn't smoke marijuana because it didn't help anymore so I had to quit. I was prescribed a sedative, I think clonazepam, and sleeping pills. I went on effexor for anxiety and I think I may have gotten a bit better. I met a girl in Sept of 2010 and got really attached. I went off effexor in november 2010 because I felt lack of sexual arousal and pleasure. She said I got very anxious after slowly going off effexor. I started smoking marijuana again and saw a psychiatrist who put me on propranolol. It worked for a bit but then I had to take xanax as well. My anxiety again ruined the relationship. I felt like I constantly needed to be with her to feel calm. What would help the most is lying down on the couch or in bed with her cuddling. When she got fed up of me being too clingy and needing to see her too much she broke up with me in july 2011. I had to take a 2 week sick leave and quit smoking marijuana again. I felt so anxious without having anyone to cuddle with. I feel embarrassed to admit that looking forward to cuddling with a girl would make my anxiety go away. I feel like when I don't have someone to look forward to holding and cuddling I can't go on. After she broke up with me I started sleeping with a girl at my mom's work. I quickly got attached. She had her own problems with depression and didn't want to be together after a year of sleeping together and I lost it again. I had to take 2 weeks sick leave from work.
I kept hoping i could get back with her. I gave up in december 2012. This was probably a bad idea, but I started sleeping with her neighbor. A girl much younger than me. I'm 31 and she was 21. I've seen and depended on her to calm my anxiety since January. Two weeks ago she left me because she is falling for a 17 year old guy. Again I'm left feeling I have nothing to look forward to.
I wake up panicking. I would wake up anxious while I was with her, but just knowing that I would be able to make love to her, or cuddle her that night, or the next day, or even in 2 or 3 days, somehow make my anxiety go away.
Now I'm panicking every morning. I am having trouble concentrating at work.
I want to go back to school or look for a better paying job but I feel so scared and anxious I just try to be around people to make it feel less intense. I've already started talking to other girls in the hopes of finding someone who cares about me to cuddle and make the anxiety go away.
I wake up thinking, oh my god, you're alone, you have no one to hold and kiss, no one who cares. You aren't successful, you never will be. I feel my anxiety is preventing me from moving on in life.
I feel that this sounds ridiculous. I feel like I should be a strong independent man at 31 years old but I do not feel like that at all.
My new therapist thinks I need to go on medication for this severe anxiety.
I was wondering if anyone on here has a similar problem. Fear and anxiety from lack of confidence. Fear of being alone. Not being able to make it in life. Getting very attached to girlfriends and becoming too needy.
If anyone has been through this and has found solutions that have worked, please share them with me. I am willing to put in the effort to change. I am so tired of feeling helpless and scared.

Thank you,
jna