First post: Any advice?

Hello everyone,

This is my first post after having just made an account. I am an 18 year old male, turning 19 in a month. I have been suffering from anxiety since I can remember. I don't ever remember not have anxiety. By anxiety, I don't mean sweating or having bad panic attacks, but what I mean is: Muscle tension all over the body, including the head, and worrying over small things that I shouldn't be worrying about.

So basically, here's the deal. I recently found out I had anxiety. I had chronic tension for so long, that I never notice I had tension, I thought having headaches and muscle tension all over the body, 24/7, was part of my life. I didn't know something was wrong because I had it all the time, ever since I can remember. So anyways, over the past 2 years, I found out that I had anxiety through a very long story and personal story. The point is: I found out that I have anxiety.

I went to a psychiatrist, he gave me medication and it didn't work. I am still getting off the medication now. I am also visiting an osteopath, who says my headaches are due to cerebral edema, which is brain swelling, but I know anxiety has a big part to it.

I recently noticed that the reason why I have anxiety is because I don't feel safe. Well, I do feel safe going outside, I have a lot of confidence, I am able to make friends, and I live a generally happy and normal life, except for the on going tension and headaches which are really, really uncomfortable. But, it seems that my brain subconsciously does not feel safe. For example, whenever I sleep, I have to hug a pillow or the blanket close to me. When I was younger, I always wanted to sleep beside my parents because their company made me feel so safe subconsciously. I didn't actually know why at the time.

I read that anxiety usually stems from childhood, and that being overly protected by adults, can make an individual come to the conclusion that the world is not a safe place. I was a child who was overly protected by my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But, I was never allowed to go to sleepovers with my friends, when I was injured my parents would get so freaked out, my mom took care of everything for me, and my dad was usually a pessimistic person, always warning me that life is hard and that life is a struggle and other negative things about life.

I heard about muscle relaxants that seem to work for a lot of people, but I don't want to go towards the road of pills again, especially after going through multiple side effects from the medications that the psychiatrist prescribed to me. The osteopath has very good testimonials, and has helped people with their panic attacks by simply talking to them, as well as physical injuries, such as the one in my head. I know I don't have panic attacks, but maybe the tension and anxiety I have stems from the fact that my parents were over protective of me when I was young.

Before anyone mentions medication: Medications are just a mask. They don't fix the root of the problem. The root of the problem is the way I think (at least for me.)

So yeah that's about it. If any of you can recommend anything, it would be much appreciated. I want to change the way I think, because it appears to me that my view of life was damaged since I was young, at least to me. Maybe some of you have different opinions, and I'd love to hear all of them. Any advice would also be much appreciated.

Thank you!