Can I do this alone?

Hello everyone, I'm new to the site. Just gonna share my story and ask you who are probably a bit more experienced for any advice you can give, so thanks in advance for reading.

I first started having panic attacks about this time last year when I started a new job. At first I didn't know what it was that was making me feel sick and dizzy- I was told my ear was slightly inflamed and it must be that. Then that maybe I had labrythitis. Secretly I suspected I was pregnant and spent my free time googling symptoms and becoming more and more paranoid, but too scared to do a test. (I see now that this was only making things worse because I was working myself up about it- and not telling anyone) Eventually I went to the doctor for tests. I was not pregnant, and there was absolutely nothing else wrong with me, according to blood tests. Things were getting better anyway- I'd settled in at work etc... so I left it at that. I went back to university and everything was okay for a good while. Then I split from my boyfriend, and the pressure started piling up as it was my final year at uni. I started smoking marijuana a bit again and took mdma a few times in my spare time. I drank a lot too as a stereotypical student. I started to have the attacks again. Since then it's just got worse- even though I've now finished uni, and have a job lined up- I'm still getting them and it seems almost everytime I go out I feel a little nervous at least.

I've lately started to develop a feeling of urgently needing to go to the toilet- even when I just have been. I'm terrified I'm going to wet myself. The more awful a situation it would be to occur in, the worse the feeling that I'm going to feels. I never have, and I keep telling myself I won't. But it doesn't stop it happening. The worst panic attack was when i was on a bus. I'd been drinking the night before and I started feeling like I couldnt breathe. Like I would wet myself. That I would puke. My hands went tingly and numb and stiff (never had that before or since). It was horrible.

Now my main worry is I have my graduation ceremony in a couple of weeks and I need to be there, and I need to know that this won't happen. Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm really trying to try and overcome this myself- I don't want medication or anything. I know I can do it myself but every time i tell myself I'm stronger than this I still have the niggling voice of doubt in my mind. I hate it.

You're probably having negative thoughts about your graduation, which is making your anxiety worst. It you think it's gonna happen, chances are it is. Try to relax and except that you have had these symptoms before and they have passed. It won't last forever. Try deep breathing too.

Well dealing with anxiety alone is tricky, and takes a lot of effort, and time. Not sure why your against medication. But your best bet for dealing without medication is to educate yourself as much as possible about anxiety! Knowledge is your best defense ! Even if you do decide to take medication. Medication dose not cure anxiety! Just helps you function. Learning breathing techniques , and relaxation is a good idea. Great tools to use, you also have to change the way you think. Your thoughts play a big roll as well as stress, and worry. All the what ifs in your life has fueled your anxiety! Learn how anxiety works, and the process of anxiety. If anxiety makes a full circle then you have a panic attack. You need to intervene and not allow that to happen. Anxiety is not dangerous, and a lot of symptoms can come with it, and or sensations. You must recognize them as just symptoms, and nothing more! The feeling to use the bathroom is just a sensation, you need to tell yourself this. Do a test run with it! Use a poise pad just in case. But put yourself in a situation that you think would trigger this sensation. Tell yourself your not going to go into the bathroom because I really don't have to go! Then replace your thought to something else. Wait for some time to go by and see what happens. You could always use a poise pad for your graduation as well to feel more confident. No shame in that! Also you can ask your doctor for Ativan. That will calm you. It is to be used only as needed, and not a daily medication. People with fear to fly use it, as well as other phobias. But really the key is to educate yourself as much as possible, try some guided meditation as well. Look up honest guys on YouTube. You can also find other anxiety videos. They have helped me a lot as I don't want to be on medication for to long! I really want to get to the root of it all!

KNOW YOUR ANXIETY IN ORDER TO DEFEAT IT! .