Hey, I'm the New Girl

I am at my wit's end with this panic and anxiety. It has affected every aspect of my life and I am so over it. I have all the symptoms of classic anxiety...really, all of them. I work in the mental health profession, am educated up to my eyeballs about anxiety disorders, teach DBT and coping skills classes in a crisis stabilization environment, and I feel sometimes like I am in worse shape than most of my clients. I am to a point where my anxiety and panic angers me. I know the deal, I know the drill. Why am I still afflicted? I use my coping skills to get me through a panic attack. Showers, relaxation, sleep. Sleep seems to be what gets me through the best-but this is not the life I want to lead. I feel robbed of my livelihood and I am quite resentful about it. I remember a time when I was not crippled with anxiety. I liked to do things, hang out with friends, travel....live. I don't need a crash course on coping skills and how to get through a panic attack. I want to prevent them. I don't want to live in a constant state of worry, tenseness, pain, headaches, and fear. That isn't me. I was adventurous as hell once upon a time. I have hitchhiked across the country, taken risks, felt alive. Now a trip to the grocery store will send me into a state of panic. Getting ready for work sucks. I have anxiety right up until I have been at work for an hour or so. Did I mention I work in mental health? If my clients only knew what a mess I am. Pretty sure they wouldn't even consider buying what I am selling. I just want myself back. I want to laugh, live, make jokes (I really am quite hilarious), and find that adventure that is passing me by as I sit holed up in my apartment because I am paralyzed with fear and panic. Thanks for reading this. Hope to hear from anyone that has beaten this. Panic-free is equivalent to cancer-free for me. No offense to any survivors or people who may be dealing with cancer with themselves of family members. It is the best way I can say it right now. Look forward to your replies.

Have you tried meds or have you gone through any psychotherapy to see if a source can be found for your anxiety? Alankay

Welcome. I hope you are doing well

I replied but it did not work, so trying again.
You are not alone in working in mental health and having your own problems. Most NHS or mental heath courses I have been on there are people from mental health profession actually attending the courses too for themselves.
At least you should be able to recognise your symptoms quickly and know how to get the help you need.
Depression, anxiety and panic can hit anyone so you should not worry about having it but work on being able to control it and get better.
Acting 'normal' every day at work is so difficult and puts so much pressure on your head every day. I find mine feels like t is exploading after managing a day at work which leads to a difficult home life.

Just wanted to thank everyone who has responded. I am gonna beat this. I have to. I am not on medication currently, but in the past have used Ativan and Klonopin. I see the doc Tuesday morning, I made an hour long appointment so that I could discuss with her ALL of my health worries. That way I can eliminate the health fears I have. BTW, I have avoided doing this as I am fearful that she will find something wrong with me. So, I will have that worry out of the way. :) Well, I am off to search the forum. You gotta keep your mouth closed and your ears open to learn anything.

Sound like you have made a plan which will help you start to get on top of your anxiety problem. Good luck with the Dr and I hope you get some real help and support.

You have taken the important first step in finding possible solutions to help you heal. Best wishes with the doctor visit, and know that whatever you learn, you're better able to handle it with the support, encouragement, and understanding that it is normal.

Anxiety affects us at different levels all through life. When it hits us, we often wind up the worry before taking time to manage the normal process of moving around, getting our hydration levels in balance, and then wonder what happened. You are more aware of anxiety just because you work with its symptoms on a regular basis, so you probably have an automatic trigger reset that usually works in the work environment.

You're not alone, and you've got the plan of action!

Forum user PanicCured posted a very good thread on how they coped with your issues. I don't have the post count to link anything at the moment but if you do a search on Techniques I Used to Overcome My Panic/Anxiety Disorder you will find it. It's very motivational and helpful!