The Burden

Hi,

I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and depression as a result. I am not receiving treatment for either. My mother, brother, and father all suffer from the same conditions. In addition, my brother has Autism Spectrum Disorder. I have not disclosed my condition to my family; they have enough to worry about.

I'm currently attending college in Manhattan. Everytime I pass a skyscraper, I picture myself jumping off of it. I am convinced that I am a burden to everyone around me. I don't have many friends at school; I get severe social anxiety which makes it hard to meet people. I have a group of close friends back home, but I'm convinced they all secretly hate me because I'm such a burden. My depression often makes me lazy and apathetic and although I have a license, I don't drive because it gives me very severe anxiety and can trigger panic attacks. My general apathy and reliance on others for rides makes me unlikable and a burden. I know they all secretly resent me. My family must too; my mother often remarks on my apathy and chastises me for my reluctance to drive. I wish I could tell hem about my disorders, but I don't wish to burden them any more than I already do.

I am often very sick because my anxiety prevents me from sleeping well. Everyone probably thinks I'm a hypochondriac, but I assure you I am not. If anything I tend to downplay my own illnesses for fear of giving myself even more to worry about.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this.
Sorry.

Hi, I'm sure your friends and family don't think you're a burden, us anxiety folk tend to think the worst. I think you should talk to someone, your family wouldn't want to suffer if they knew...

*wouldn't want you to suffer if they knew