Things get better, then they get worse/explaining things to a boyfriend.

I used to be part of another online anxiety ground when I had very bad panic attacks a couple of years ago, but since then they have got much better and I am no where near what I was like before, so I stopped posting and reading things online because part of me thought it just fed my anxiety. The problem is, it seems to be evolving into something new because I never really treated it, I just learnt to teach myself how to be calm and how to know what is real and when i'm just winding myself up in my head. I've started to have more symptons that are closer to OCD, and I am now very afraid of the dark, which is ridiculous because I'm nearly 21. I still think about my health anxiety all the time but I'm dealing with it differently now, and I am scared it will get worse again if I don't eventually try medication or therapy. It takes me about half an hour to an hour to even get into my bed now because i'm convinced that doing mindless things a number of times will help.. I just wondered if anyone else has had anything like this, and if anyone had any tips on how to get past it/any methods you have before it gets worse?

I also have a boyfriend and I find it hard to talk about this with him, but I wish I could find a way, because it is not fair on him when he asks me what's wrong and I can't find any words and just stay silent. Its like I know whats wrong but whenever I go to talk, nothing comes out, it gets stuck in my throat and I feel really stupid. Staying this stuff to someone who doesn't have it themselves is scary because obviously you sound a bit crazy. It eventually makes him angry, as it would with anyone, because he wants to help but its like I'm pushing him away. I don't want to though, I'd love to find a way to explain things to him and to find a way he could help! Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks for your help!

Much love x

Explain it to him like what you posted here ;) He seems like he wants to help you.

Yes, agreed. That would be the best approach to keeping the relationship before he starts fillin in the blanks with his own thoughts or assumptions. Also, medication and therapy are going to be a must do also as it appears to be gettin worse, and worse..Dont let this consume you. Get ahold of it before its too late..Yer young, so do it now for your own good and the good of others too.

Goodluck!

Enduronman..

But I'm much more comfortable saying it here because people understand, saying it to someone without anxiety is harder because they won't know what I mean :( but you're right, I'll just have t dig dee and do it. Afterall, he is showing that he wants to help, I guess staying quiet won't work in my favour. As for medication, I've been worried that it will do more harm than good and that they are just a short term solution. I was thinking about making a doctors appointment next week and getting his advice? Thanks for replying :)

Well Sigur, it's all a matter of pitch...

"hon, I have a psychiatric disorder which makes me have unreasonable thoughts, and then I get all worked up, lose control, and end up screaming cause I think I am having a heart attack"

Vs.

"I sometimes experience extreme anxiety, and during those moments it is often not easy for me to etc. etc. etc. but even though it's really hard, fundamentally it's no big deal because at the end of the day you're here with me, etc. etc. etc." <3

(Anw, you've just given me a million dollar idea: cheap "coming out" stories for psychiatric patients!!! Enduronman, wanna co-author?)

Enduronman I been scoping this side for a while now, though I have never posted myself until now. I think you are very useful to this site and give great advice, not to mention your great sense of humor about everything;) its refreshing to read a lot of your replies to people who are in distress, and the advice you offer keep up the great work you have made me feel better at times when my anxiety has spiked to its limit. It's good to know there's people like you out there;)

Hear hear! =)

@Sigur..unfortunately those are some pretty solid suggestions and as you've stated difficult to say the least but you have a certain responsibilty to those you love or care about to disclose and reveal, no matter how you think or assume they're going to receive it. You'll be surprised at how relieved he is just to finally and honestly know whats going on with you when you're upset. He is your allie and also a major player in assuring your long term and overall better sense of being too. As far as meds go, they're not as "sinister" as you may think and there are some really useful medications out there for use to help us over these mountains in our lives. Just finding the right one can sometimes take abit of work in itself but also is going to proove very useful to you as well to get you on the road to recovery. The more time and effort you invest into gettin out of this crazy world of anxiety, the quicker you'll begin to live the life you so desperately seek..Just be patient, we've all been..where you are.

@Siegfried, I love the idea!! It's just a great idea all around because of etc..etc.etc. etc...and etc.. LOL!!

@Michell, Thank you very much! I'm here to help remove people from "The Anxiety Matrix" as I no longer live in that world. It is a world filled with horror and torment and quite frankly I don't like reading about those of you that are still trapped within it. I have no shortage of mental disorders and sometimes wonder if there's some beings looking over me from above and snickering in laughter because when they put me together, they really seemed to have messed alot of things up! I'm glad to offer some useful suggestions and insight to help other figure out what the heck is going on because if helps me, to help them..I know that life can seem helpless and hopeless at times, but there is a way to overcome that and create more happiness instead..we've just gotta find the way to do that together..

Have a great day all!!

Enduronman..:)

Thankyou everyone! I have arranged to go to the doctor next week to sort things out and my boyfriend is coming with me for support. I had a pretty bad panic attack on friday night but he was brilliant and stayed with me the whole night/next day and looked after me. He's a good one! :) I feel much less worried about it now and I believe I can beat this anxiety before it gets worse. Thanks again for all your help, I will be sure to check back if I need more advice in the future xx