Coping with anxiety alone

I cannot bare to tell anyone of my anxieties. I've tried for so long to help myself. I was terrified of speaking to people over the phone and answering the door to people I didnt know, but I chose jobs that put me in contact with others daily and required phone use. This helps once I get used to it but if I stop and go on holiday or the environment changes (new job or new apartment) it comes back.

I can go for weeks just getting on with things, sticking to a strict schedule helped. I found myself with an injury recently that distrupted my routine and my worries have come back. Weekends are the hardest to get through as its two days by myself. Sometimes I find myself eating until I'm sore, other times I don't want to leave my house. It has caused me to gain weight and I am not feeling too good about myself because of it.

The hardest part is I moved very far away from my family for work and I know they accept me no matter my mood or size and I miss that comfortable feeling as I cannot seem to accept myself.

I have only had one intimite relationship and it was long distance, I could choose and prepare to be with him as I wished. This was over 2 years ago.

I have it lodged in my head that this is just how I am and its just how things will be, but a part of me knows this isn't right and I don't want to lose getting the most out of life. I act so confident around others and I am often described as 'the stable one' but it is only because I don't share my issues and I don't show it through viewable means other than changes in weight.

There is a lot of change going on in my life right now and I am not happy with any aspect of it but I am trying to change that.

Is it possible to get through something like this on your own or am I just kidding myself? I'm getting tired of these cycles.

I was in quite same situation and I'm kinda - still.

But of course it is. I'm not sure if you are coping with anxiety or social anxiety but both are curable, and social anxiety is sometimes that imo goes away once you start beliving in yourself. But you can't be self-confident just like that, it takes time and practice. And one day you will wake up with those problems. Try to hang with people around, you never know who you will meet :)