feeling rage, self disgust, and depression

Hi all. Lately, I have improved, but I still feel a lingering depression. The bad things (or at least what I perceive as bad things in this state) I've done keep circulating through my head. One such thing is as follows. This is pretty gross and embarrassing. A few times in my life, I have accidentally been aroused by something that would be perceived as weird or disgusting. I don't want to go into too much detail, but basically, my body experienced a stimuli and responded accordingly. This is nothing I find sexually appealing in the slightest, but at the few times it has happened, I never stopped it, I guess I never even thought about what was happening, at least not until recently when it resurfaced in my memory. I know this was totally involuntary, that it was just my body responding to stimuli completely against my will, but I can't help but worry that people would perceive me as weird and disgusting if they knew. It's one of the many things causing me depression at the moment, and I just want to feel better about it. Can anyone help me.