Anxiety Forum

theguy5457 · Joined: 17 Apr 2010 Posts: 1

I often feel nervous when I'm not in control of a situation, or someone I really trust is. People often reach out to me to go do things, but I feel like I'd rather not go most of the time. Sometimes I will get very nervous before talking in front of people. But the thing is this all happens when I feel vulnerable, when I'm seen as a lower person in the group. If I'm the one leading or in control I'm invincible, and none of this happens to me, but if I'm not, I'm a wreck.

Sorry its kind of hard to put it into words

Thanks in advance

skippy87 · Joined: 01 May 2010 Posts: 9

Hi there,

Sounds like you do have a control issue, i don't see it as a bad thing to be a controlling person and at the end of the day its who you are, so you shouldn't have to change.

What sort of job do you have? It could be worth looking at a career where you can put this controlling behaviour to good use in a place where its needed and necessary.

Do you have a brother or sister? It could stem from childhood when you were trying to compete for attention with them. Or it could come from being an only child and being used to control everything yourself and not having to worry about others, having your parents wrapped around your little finger.

It seems like a problem you need to get under control because it could lead to competitiveness with friends and its not good to be a wreck anyway. You need to try and come up with some coping mechanisms and then try and put yourself in situations where you won't have the control and test what will work best for you.

Hope this helps.

Skippy smile

korgoosh · Joined: 20 May 2010 Posts: 11 Location: BC

You sound like building your self confidence is in order. I tend to worry about what others think of me and get insecure in some situations... especially when I'm with people whom I really admire. Easier said than done I know, but remember that you are *not* inferior.

Don't have too much detail about why you feel inferior, but maybe it could help to identify what your strengths are... everyone has different strengths, and you don't have to be good at everything.