crying wolf

[anxiousmess]

hiya


i thought i would write about this as it is currently bothering me.

i know that every week i seem to have a new illness. i also know that when i have this 'illness' i strongly believe i do!
alot of the time, i am proved wrong. i understand that anxiety can do this to you.

i also understand that where i'm going with this - could also just be brushed off as anxiety, but please bare with me!

i'm not the kind of anxiety person who goes to the hospital and doctors to reassure myself of my symptoms - simply because i research and learn as much as possible...by the time i've learned all i need to know, the illness tends to leave.
the doctors tend to brush everything off to anxiety, and i feel like a hypercondriac so i don't bother going!


what is bothering me at the minute, is epilepsy. simple partial seizures to be exact.

the reason for this is because of feelings and experiences i have had since i was a child, all link with simple partial seizures!!

all of my unexplained issues, are explained when looking at that!
to top it all of - simple partials can also mimic panic disorders!


i'm not going to go into great detail of the way i've felt when i feel i've had one.


i did however, the other day, think i might aswel try and induce one lol. now i KNOW that is anxiety making me do that.

i also know anxiety is the reason i searched it in the first place!


what i do know though, is that my symptoms do all link with that from both past and present...and my little experiment worked!

now, if i thought for one second i had grand mal seizures - i wouldn't of even attempted inducing. but i know, no damage is done through partials, and alot of people are undiagnosed their whole life as they are so small. this is the only reason i went as far as i did!

i might sound stupid - i don't know!


it was my way of stopping myself and my boyfriend second guessing me!


as i said, my experiment thing worked. i ended up ill, muscles twitching all over my right side, and i ended up curling up on the settee in a ball.


i want to go to the doctors, but i am too scared he is going to brush it off.

my whole point is, how far do you need to go to prove that something isn't anxiety? not only just to yourself, but to others?

[anxiousmess]

i came to the conclusion that either way - whether this is anxiety or i am infact right in what i am saying....i need to go to the doctors for my anxiety making me go to extreme lengths to prove something i don't actually know!

i think im losing the plot!

[laurandisorder]

The first attack that I had of my most recent relapse was so intense and lasted so long that I went to the ER. I had no medication in my house and couldn't manage my breathing.

I presented with a heart rate of over 150 (180 is heart attack risk zone). Even though I was incredibly anxious, my Psychiatrist, my GP and the team that treated me at the hospital all said that under the circumstances, I did the right thing.

A barrage of blood tests and full physical later proved that it was only a panic attack and I am healthy, but given the circumstances, I did the right thing.

Never feel bad about presenting if you experience something that really concerns you. It is better to walk away with a clean bill of health than be frightened of wasting time and genuinely risking your health.

[anxiousmess]

thank you :) that has helped ease my anxiety over the whole doctor situation.
i made an appointment earlier, and i'm worrying about it. i'll keep reminding myself of what you said, and hopefully i'll stop worrying!

it is really hard to figure out what is anxiety and what isn't!

i'm anorexic, and have been for my whole life basically....epilepsy can come through that - everything isn't just in my head, there is actual evidence surrounding it, without the help of my anxiety.
the anoreixa isn't the only evidence. but...i understand it could all be anxiety.

that's what kills me - the NEED to know!

anyway, my appointment is later on this afternoon. i'll update when i've been to let others know whether i'm losing the plot due to anxiety, or if im actually right

[anxiousmess]

anxiety just gets to the point, where you could actually be dying - but no one would believe you with the amount of illnesses you've apparently had!
all symptoms of practically everything can relate back to anxiety.

im sick of second guessing myself - thinking that this time, i might actually be ill. which is why i need extra help either way! :rolleyes:

[anxiousmess]

i really don't know anymore, kev! i think i'm losing the plot!
the doctor wouldn't entertain me - she says i need to wait for the psychiatrists assessment. only it's not a psychiatrist, it's the community treatment team. which from what i gather, are people who are basically there to stop you being admitted!
i really don't think i'm a case to be admitted!

what would you like to know?

[laurandisorder]

It really depends on how bad your Eating Disorder is too. Anxiousmess. I was diagnosed with Anorexia a long time ago and have now, essentially recovered. I had to do a lot of in-patient time (10 weeks) and was and still am under the supervision of a treatment team.

I see my psychiatrist when I need to; most recently with the severe panic attacks and anxiety. I have been seeing him for 11 years and am pretty much one of his success stories in spite of slip ups now and then.

Your illnesses and your symptoms are all related to each other. Maybe some real in-patient time is needed? Anorexia has a high mortality rate and is a legitimately fatal disease. If you treat the ED, you'll note a significant impact on your anxiety, I bet! If you go in-patient you'll be in hospital, monitored by experts, you'll be out of comfort zone, but safe. Maybe it's time to address the roots of all this and say goodbye to fear forever?

PM me if you need to chat.

Laur

[anxiousmess]

i hope not! my eating disorder has been pretty much under control. they don't know i went through a blip a few days ago with not eating. but i'm back on track. my weight is in 'my' safe zone ...which the doctors also class as alright. so i can't see that being an issue. i friggin hope not anyway!!

thanx :)

[laurandisorder]

Thanks for clarifying. I know that anorexia - with full symptoms - BMI below 17, ammenhorrea etc - can escalate or cause anxiety.

If you're managing your ED, that's awesome and something to celebrate. It sounds like your in good hands.

[anxiousmess]

i panicked when i read your first post - i thought i was going to be hospitalised through my ED!
i'm calm now so i can explain a bit better.
my anorexia isn't under control as such...i'm still under on the bmi - i have been since i was under 5 year old. i don't think it will ever go above 17!

i don't know about your ED, but mine isn't the common form of anorexia - or maybe mine is the most common - just the one that seems to go under the radar from people.

it's the one where i don't worry about gaining weight, i don't worry about calories, i don't exercise, i don't do anything different to the normal average person.
i do however not eat for a few days, or skip some meals...but not because i decide not to. but because i'm too anxious, stressed or focused on other things - i kind of just forget about eating!

my anorexia is kind of under the thing of - refusal to keep weight above the thing on the bmi chart.

what anorexia do you have? or did have? i can't remember exactly what you said. this page is onto the second page now so i can't see it

:)

[inosantoclaws]

Wow, sure hope things turn out ok. Best wishes from me!

[anxiousmess]

thank you :) i'm sure it'll be fine. i'm over the panic now and feeling quite positive :)