dcfefs
03-24-2012, 07:34 AM
hey, its been months since i last use this site, and i have one good new and one bad new. and i would like anyone with similar experience to give me some advice
the good news is that, i used to have General Anxiety Disorder, but right now i have nothing to worry about anymore, because i realised that nearly all worries that people with anxiety have are all false alarms, u mght not believe me now, but time can give u the answers that we long for, just take your time to heal, no hurry and no worry, u will get over it and once u are over it, u just have to remind yourself that u ve got ovean get over it again, and then u will never worry abbout it ever again. thats my tip which works for me, and keep your friends close so u can tell them your worries, even if u dont tell them, u can just talk to them and get your mind off things.
the bad news is that, even though my anxiety is gone, my depression yet still lingers within me. I had my anxiety + depression nearly at the same time, when a girl who i really loved for a long time, did not love me back at all after i did many many things just to make her happy, and shenever gave me anything in return, no love, not even simple thanks... my heart broke and have a panic attack i have been emotionally blank for nearly a year now.
for now, i couldnt really feel much happiness or excitement, i can smile/ laugh when i see funny things, but the genuine happiness from the company of friends,i can feel them no more, i couldnt feel that they could care for me the way i liked it to be. but dont get me wrong, i would absolutely LOVE to enjoy the company of friends again, but ever since i migrate to another country, my old friends had long been gone and we ran out of things to talk about within months, and i wasnt very close with the new friends and the werent veryclose with each other even, that girl was the only one true friend i considered as, i alraedy forgot y i liked her so so much...
then lately within the last 2 months, 2 girls like me for some reason. i did not hold much feeling for the first one, i didnt know whether it was because i raelly did not like her, or its just that i am too emotionally blank i dont feel anything, but then of course it didnt work out, because i did not have any feeling and i am always under so much pressure as i keep reminding myself that i have to love her back or else i will hurt her and etc... and i just figured out she wasnt the one for me, so i letted go before we have started the relationship so she wont get hurt just as deep.
the other one i met her last month, she is funny, cute and about anything i would like if i wasnt emotionless, but i dotn know why, i still dont have THE feeling on being in love, although i like her as a friend still, she makes me smile and laugh all the tiem when i talk to her, i really would love to have a girlfriend like that but the thing is i still cant have THAT feeling, my emotion is yet empty and i do think about relationships and or love or anything close to that anymore after i got my hearrt broke (things such as how to treat a girl, how to make her happy) , maybe its because they didnt work on my last relationship but maybe those ways just did not work on her...
so here is my story guys, i know it might be boring to u, but i would love to hear from people with similar experience or people who HAD this experience. I would love to FEEL again, i really want to be happy around friends again. and i would really want to have a happy relationship for once.... and i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings T^T
thank you for reading so very very much...there are things i left out in the story but it would be too long*
the good news is that, i used to have General Anxiety Disorder, but right now i have nothing to worry about anymore, because i realised that nearly all worries that people with anxiety have are all false alarms, u mght not believe me now, but time can give u the answers that we long for, just take your time to heal, no hurry and no worry, u will get over it and once u are over it, u just have to remind yourself that u ve got ovean get over it again, and then u will never worry abbout it ever again. thats my tip which works for me, and keep your friends close so u can tell them your worries, even if u dont tell them, u can just talk to them and get your mind off things.
the bad news is that, even though my anxiety is gone, my depression yet still lingers within me. I had my anxiety + depression nearly at the same time, when a girl who i really loved for a long time, did not love me back at all after i did many many things just to make her happy, and shenever gave me anything in return, no love, not even simple thanks... my heart broke and have a panic attack i have been emotionally blank for nearly a year now.
for now, i couldnt really feel much happiness or excitement, i can smile/ laugh when i see funny things, but the genuine happiness from the company of friends,i can feel them no more, i couldnt feel that they could care for me the way i liked it to be. but dont get me wrong, i would absolutely LOVE to enjoy the company of friends again, but ever since i migrate to another country, my old friends had long been gone and we ran out of things to talk about within months, and i wasnt very close with the new friends and the werent veryclose with each other even, that girl was the only one true friend i considered as, i alraedy forgot y i liked her so so much...
then lately within the last 2 months, 2 girls like me for some reason. i did not hold much feeling for the first one, i didnt know whether it was because i raelly did not like her, or its just that i am too emotionally blank i dont feel anything, but then of course it didnt work out, because i did not have any feeling and i am always under so much pressure as i keep reminding myself that i have to love her back or else i will hurt her and etc... and i just figured out she wasnt the one for me, so i letted go before we have started the relationship so she wont get hurt just as deep.
the other one i met her last month, she is funny, cute and about anything i would like if i wasnt emotionless, but i dotn know why, i still dont have THE feeling on being in love, although i like her as a friend still, she makes me smile and laugh all the tiem when i talk to her, i really would love to have a girlfriend like that but the thing is i still cant have THAT feeling, my emotion is yet empty and i do think about relationships and or love or anything close to that anymore after i got my hearrt broke (things such as how to treat a girl, how to make her happy) , maybe its because they didnt work on my last relationship but maybe those ways just did not work on her...
so here is my story guys, i know it might be boring to u, but i would love to hear from people with similar experience or people who HAD this experience. I would love to FEEL again, i really want to be happy around friends again. and i would really want to have a happy relationship for once.... and i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings T^T
thank you for reading so very very much...there are things i left out in the story but it would be too long*