Hopeful2012
03-18-2012, 08:34 AM
Hi all,
I know most people have a problem with blushing during their teens etc, and then tend to grow out of it. With me though, it’s actually the opposite. I never, ever used to have any problems with blushing, I was perfectly fine all during my teens and early 20’s. Now though, I’m 29 years old, and for the last couple of years on and off I’ve had problems with blushing. Initially, I think it was brought about and exacerbated by social situations at work when talking about girls etc, and I was scared that if I did blush, it would be clear that I’m not very experienced with girls and embarrassed about it. Obviously, this was self perpetuating but so damn hard to stop and not think about. There were times though when I managed to stop thinking about it, when my blushing subsided and wasn’t an issue on a day to day basis.
I managed to partially cure my blushing last year when I made a conscious effort to talk to more girls, both at work and outside of work. I became a lot more confident and, for a time, my blushing wasn’t much of a problem anymore. It was still lurking there in the background but wasn’t something that bothered me on a daily basis. I even got to the stage where I could/still can occasionally get a number from a girl I’ve just met on the train/at the supermarket etc. Now, you may be thinking what on earth my problem is, but this is what makes it so paradoxical. I can’t believe I have the confidence to be able to get a girl’s number I’ve only known for a few minutes, but still have this blushing problem now - which has, annoyingly and surprisingly, got worse recently.
So, initially, my blushing was triggered by being too self conscious that I would be going red and showing that I’m embarrassed when it comes to anything to do with the opposite sex. For the last 3 months, however, my blushing has got far worse. Now, I find myself blushing at even the slightest situation I perceive to be embarrassing. Even if the situation has nothing to do with “girls”, but it’s something that I merely perceive could be embarrassing, I find myself thinking “I hope I don’t blush”. Unfortunately, when one thinks about it all the time like I do now, one invariably does blush. How on earth do you get out of this frame of mind and not worry about it?
It is a self perpetuating cycle that has got progressively worse and worse. I find myself now fearing social situations - particularly at work - just in case I’ll blush and people will notice. Bizarrely, I’ll actually find myself blushing in situations purely because I’ll be thinking to myself “if I blush now, people will know you’re embarrassed about this”. So I’ll end up in a situation thinking about blushing/ and sometimes actually blushing, purely because I was thinking of how it would be embarrassing if I blushed now. When my blushing is at it’s worst, I’m actually starting to get all hot and sweaty now too, so it’s having more of a physical impact on me than it used to.
I have read that things like spicy food, caffeine and alcohol can all make blushing worse and therefore I should cut down on them. However, when I was younger I used to eat loads of spicy food, consume moderate amounts of caffeine and alcohol but never have a problem with blushing. Based on that, it would seem the issue is more psychological than anything else, and cutting down on those foods/drinks would not make “much” difference. Though, recently, I am cutting down but there has been no noticeable difference yet.
If I’m drunk and in a club/bar that’s quite dark, outside and walking in the cold with someone, or if I’m on holiday and I’m sunburnt etc, my blushing isn’t an issue and I don’t even think about it, because I know that even if I did blush, it would be unnoticeable. Therefore, it’s clearly psychological but I still can’t stop it.
It is really starting to get me down as it just doesn’t make sense. People have even said that I come across as confident etc (when I said I was nervous about giving a presentation etc) so why is my blushing such an issue. I have even managed recently to get a new dream job in the big city, so I have every reason to be confident. What is so annoying is that despite the fact I have reasons to be confident, I find my self feeling embarrassed and blushing in situations that I would never ever blush at a few years ago, despite the fact I had far less to be confident about back then.
I know this isn’t your “usual” blushing problem, but I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this? Also, any help/information/tips would be greatly appreciated as this is changing from an annoying issue to actually becoming depressing.
I know most people have a problem with blushing during their teens etc, and then tend to grow out of it. With me though, it’s actually the opposite. I never, ever used to have any problems with blushing, I was perfectly fine all during my teens and early 20’s. Now though, I’m 29 years old, and for the last couple of years on and off I’ve had problems with blushing. Initially, I think it was brought about and exacerbated by social situations at work when talking about girls etc, and I was scared that if I did blush, it would be clear that I’m not very experienced with girls and embarrassed about it. Obviously, this was self perpetuating but so damn hard to stop and not think about. There were times though when I managed to stop thinking about it, when my blushing subsided and wasn’t an issue on a day to day basis.
I managed to partially cure my blushing last year when I made a conscious effort to talk to more girls, both at work and outside of work. I became a lot more confident and, for a time, my blushing wasn’t much of a problem anymore. It was still lurking there in the background but wasn’t something that bothered me on a daily basis. I even got to the stage where I could/still can occasionally get a number from a girl I’ve just met on the train/at the supermarket etc. Now, you may be thinking what on earth my problem is, but this is what makes it so paradoxical. I can’t believe I have the confidence to be able to get a girl’s number I’ve only known for a few minutes, but still have this blushing problem now - which has, annoyingly and surprisingly, got worse recently.
So, initially, my blushing was triggered by being too self conscious that I would be going red and showing that I’m embarrassed when it comes to anything to do with the opposite sex. For the last 3 months, however, my blushing has got far worse. Now, I find myself blushing at even the slightest situation I perceive to be embarrassing. Even if the situation has nothing to do with “girls”, but it’s something that I merely perceive could be embarrassing, I find myself thinking “I hope I don’t blush”. Unfortunately, when one thinks about it all the time like I do now, one invariably does blush. How on earth do you get out of this frame of mind and not worry about it?
It is a self perpetuating cycle that has got progressively worse and worse. I find myself now fearing social situations - particularly at work - just in case I’ll blush and people will notice. Bizarrely, I’ll actually find myself blushing in situations purely because I’ll be thinking to myself “if I blush now, people will know you’re embarrassed about this”. So I’ll end up in a situation thinking about blushing/ and sometimes actually blushing, purely because I was thinking of how it would be embarrassing if I blushed now. When my blushing is at it’s worst, I’m actually starting to get all hot and sweaty now too, so it’s having more of a physical impact on me than it used to.
I have read that things like spicy food, caffeine and alcohol can all make blushing worse and therefore I should cut down on them. However, when I was younger I used to eat loads of spicy food, consume moderate amounts of caffeine and alcohol but never have a problem with blushing. Based on that, it would seem the issue is more psychological than anything else, and cutting down on those foods/drinks would not make “much” difference. Though, recently, I am cutting down but there has been no noticeable difference yet.
If I’m drunk and in a club/bar that’s quite dark, outside and walking in the cold with someone, or if I’m on holiday and I’m sunburnt etc, my blushing isn’t an issue and I don’t even think about it, because I know that even if I did blush, it would be unnoticeable. Therefore, it’s clearly psychological but I still can’t stop it.
It is really starting to get me down as it just doesn’t make sense. People have even said that I come across as confident etc (when I said I was nervous about giving a presentation etc) so why is my blushing such an issue. I have even managed recently to get a new dream job in the big city, so I have every reason to be confident. What is so annoying is that despite the fact I have reasons to be confident, I find my self feeling embarrassed and blushing in situations that I would never ever blush at a few years ago, despite the fact I had far less to be confident about back then.
I know this isn’t your “usual” blushing problem, but I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this? Also, any help/information/tips would be greatly appreciated as this is changing from an annoying issue to actually becoming depressing.