Anxiety and panic attack relapse

[laurandisorder]

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this forum thing, but I could really use some support and advice. I suffered and am suffering from a really bad relapse with generalized anxiety and recurrent panic attacks.

It all started on January 27th when I suffered an attack so intense and long lasting that my partner had to take me to the ER. I had no medication in the house, as I haven't had problems with anxiety for a year or so. I presented with a heart rate of 148 and I was hyperventilating so badly I was passing in and out of consciousness. The hospital staff were wonderful and have me 5mg of Valium and did all of the tests - I was also having palpitations. I was discharged after I stabilized 5 hours after the onset of the attack.

Ever since then, I have have felt like this devil is lurking behind every corner, waiting for me to build my confidence before it strikes again. I have had about 5 bad attacks since January and have suffered extreme discomfort at work and occasionally at home.

I have done all the right things. I got full bloods taken, organized a 5mg Valium script, which I have to take daily just to function. I have consulted my psychiatrist and have been referred to a psychologist who specializes in anxiety and Eating Disorders (my other major issue).

I am keeping a journal and have ordered some CBT books to help me through, but I'm so shaken that I feel like I'm never going to see and feel the world in the same way. Every trip out of the house is an effort, every time I have to drive alone (for over half an hour) I end up in a right state - having to pull over dose up and paper bag breathe until I can feel my arms and feet well enough to get to my destination. I spend a lot of time at work in extreme discomfort and as I am an educator, I'm paranoid that I'll lose it completely and freak out the kids that I work with.

I want my life back. I just don't know how to go about it.

Any help or advice would be appreciated. It is a comfort in itself to know Im not alone.

Thanks
Laura

[Chiliphil1]

I am not an expert, but I would like to give some input.

What you are experiencing is normal for a lot of us, you seem to have the " fear of fear " this is normal especially after a big attack like you had. Your body and mind are afraid that they will have to go through that again and this makes you want to avoid anything that could cause it to happen, this is really the base for agoraphobia.

I deal with this, after having an attack the next few days I will have a lurking fear, and it is a subconscious feeling that I will have another attack. I went for a while having an attack when I went to bed every night, so I got into the pattern of feeling scared leading up to bed time, then I got to where I would get scared every time I thought about going to bed.

What I was suffering from was the fear of fear, nothing bad happened at bed time, I wasn't hurt, just had an attack but my mind was afraid of having the attack, looking back now all I can say is why was I afraid? These attacks never harmed me, just a few minutes of being scared then I went right to sleep.

The big thing that you have to do, even though it sounds impossible is not be afraid of the attacks. You have to look at it like a natural response and just ride it like a wave, it's not going to hurt you and you have to convince yourself of that, then just talk yourself through the attack take deep breaths and just let it pass. Don't be afraid, just simply let it do its thing and know that it will be over shortly, once you can learn to get through an attack without it scaring you, and once you convince yourself that you will be ok, you've made it through before and you will again then the attacks will not be as intense and will not happen as frequently, the eventual goal is to have the mindset of if I panic so what? It's no big deal! Once you can adopt this mindset these attacks will no longer have control of you.

I also want to mention, be careful with the valium, it is a benzo and can cause dependence and addiction. My strongest reccomebdation would be tobtake it only when you HAVE to have it, not as a habit, secondly I would recommend speaking with your doctor about possible long term meds, such as an ssri or snri antidepressant. I am on pristiq currently and I can tell a HUGE difference, I haven't had to take a benzo in over a month!

The final thing you should do is speak with your counselor about CBT. It is a type of therapy that teaches you to see and react to things differently and helps you to stay in control.. I think these things combined will be a huge help to you.

Oh, and one thing I forgot to mention there is a website. Www.excelatlife.com they have some audios that are for relaxing and one that talks you through a panic attack, these are great, and if you happen to have an android smart phone they have a free app called stop panic and anxiety that is very helpful.

I posted all this to let you know that you are not alone, and that what you are going trough is normal for us, but there is hope, you will be ok and you will get back to yourself, you just need a bit of help in heading the right direction, all of us do at times.. I wish you the best of luck, and I know you can handle this!

[alankay]

I'd ask about a trial of an ssri(zoloft, celexa, etc) as it will help reduce the valium use and lower your anxiety level but will take time to work. I also use valium(works fast) but use an ssri to help lower the worry/rumination that leads to anxiety. Following up with the therapist is also a very good idea. PM any time. Alankay

[laurandisorder]

Oh sorry! I forgot to mention that I am on an antidepressant called Edronax (rebozetine mesilate). It's not available in the states, but I have been taking it for a number of years and it has helped me where Zoloft, Effexor and Lexapro could not. After doing a bit of research, I know the Valium is pretty much countering it at the moment.

The Valium just feels like it isn't working as well any more. I'm definitely going to cut down my dosage and wean off - which I have done a couple of times since this whole things started.

Today was a rough day because I felt physically ill and flu-ish - which instantly heightened my symptoms. I had to leave work early. I NEED to get this sorted out. I have done the whole agoraphobia thing before and it took me months to get over.

I also have a referral for a CBT therapist who specialises in anxiety and eating disorders, which I am looking forward to. I need some skills. Sometimes I just feel like there is no connect between my body and my brain and I'll push, push, push until I just break!