My St. Patty's Day Predicament

[Dave G]

I'm editing this post, because there doesn't seem to be a way to 'delete' it.

I haven't posted on here for years now. A lot has changed in that period, and when I read my old posts I don't like what I see. It reminds me of the more anxious me - the me that I hated.

I'd prefer to use this account as a way to start replying to and helping others, rather than it being a reminder of sadder days - not to mention the potential career liability that I feel it is now.

[alankay]

Dave, realize your just feeling anticipatory anxiety. It will be less when you acually go and see your friends than you imagine it to be right now. Factor that in. As in my class reunions I am always surpirsied how little people change in their souls. You will be anxious before and just prior to getting together but then feel relief once you get started seeing everyone. Same happens to me. I know they have no idea of my struggle with anxiety just as I have no idea what they struggle with. We all struggle with some stuff in life. Set it aside as best you can, have faith and go see your buds and have a good time. If you are tense at first, that's OK, it will get better as you go. If you take particular interest in others lives and stories it will distract you from yourself an be easier that way. Alankay.

[Dave G]

It wasn't as bad as i thought it might be... But I did notice a good bit of anxiety at times. I just hate when there are conversations that I can't contribute to. Makes me feel like an outcast standing on the outside of the conversation looking in. That happened a few times and I just felt stupid, then felt like I needed to be doing something other then just standing there, so since we were drinking I noticed I would take drinks more often -> got drunk quicker -> got more anxious about not seeming too drunk. But it wasn't like that the whole time, there was still a lot of good conversation with old friends. I just need to learn a way to handle the times in between conversations. I think I just pressure myself into feeling like I need to constantly be interacting so that I don't appear antisocial... or something like that...