raggamuffin
03-15-2012, 06:09 AM
Howdy,
I've been meaning to join an anxiety forum for a while now...well since I started getting my initial panic attacks. Soo my story so far, well i'm 26, working full time in a pretty unfulfilling job for the last 7 years but don't have the qualifications or confidence to change. I'm in debt so money worries affect me on a day to day basis. I've smoked cannabis and tobacco the past 6 years and spent a year experimenting with other subtsances but I stopped doign that over 2 years ago as I became unnerved at people's dependence on substance abuse when socializing, partying etc etc.
I had my first panic attack 2 years ago and it was rather terifying. An overwhelming sense of impending doom, fear of a heart attack, rapid heart rate, diszzy feeling, trembling and derealization. I calmed down after about a couple of minutes with my head out the window trying to try slow deepth breaths. I felt a bit worried for about 48 hours but carried on my life being lost in a cloud of cannabis and didn't let it take over. Yes I had paranoia on cannabis and anxiety somewhat but it was never at the forefront of life.
Around this time I had this strange sensation, I stretched rather too much and clicked my sternum. Bit unnerving, btu since then everytime I stretch it clicks on a daily basis. Often I get a tight feeling in the sternum that'd only cease when I click my sternum. It's become a daily thing, sometimes 4 or more times a day. However once I tried to hard to click it and it wouldn't happen. I continued to twist and then suddenly I was overcome with an intense pain. After visiting my chiropractor she said I had slightly dislodged a rib conencting to the stenrum, so nowadays I try and refrani from clicking it as much.
About 10 months ago I had another panic attack. It was then I decided to quit weed. I quit cold turkey and had no issue with cravings, this is because something else was gripping my mind and that was anxiety and especially health anxiety. My dad had a heart attack when he was younger and subsequently quit smoking. Now I'm scared it'll happen to me. Form the day I quit I worried 24/7 about what smoking had done to my health and every ache or pain I experienced would snowball into more worry and fear etc. I was getting (and still am) chest aches daily and it was really worrying me. I started self diagnosing by visiting all manner of websites which in turn filled me with more and more paranoia. In fact the 6 months I spent off weed I was mroe anxious and paranoid than i'd ever been smoking weed. All the smoking buddies stopped visiting me and I just felt hopelessly alone. i did however try to change my sugar filled diet and start cycling, but both didn't last longer than a couple of months (I have little to no staying power).
I visited the village doctors multiple times. They listened to my heart and chest as I breathed in and out and asked about symptoms. Several times I visited just after having a panic attack, and one time I had a panic attack in the doctor's waiting room. The doctor's all put it down to anxiety or a possible minor rib problem. One doctor prescribed me some propanalol and some anti d's (I forget the name)l. I must admit never took the beta blocker. I took the anti d's for about a week but quit taking them so obviously they didn't have time to build up in my system and start working.
The chest pains continued for several weeks and so i went to the hospital. As soon as I got into the door of A&E (ER) I had a panic attack, nearly collapsed and was wheeled onto a ward. I had ECG (or EKG I think americans call it). Also had chest xray, blood and urine smaples. They all came back fine (except there was no mention of the blood/urine results). The tests were thorough but the conclusion, couldn't have ben any more vague. The conclusion being "it's probably anxiety". So I was filled with more worry now. I was advised to possibly see a therapist, start doing CBT or some such. But the worry simply wouldn't go away. My parents thought I should be at ease knowing it wasn't my heart but I was even more worked up without a definitive answer and no matter how many doctor's put it down to anxiety this would only offer 24 hours relief or even less before my brain started taking over convincing myself it was something more sinsinter, cancer, or heart disease etc. All the doctor's said the chances of heart issues at my age (25) were minimal, but no through tests were done other than the ECG and so i'm still left worrying, but I mentioned cardiologists to 2 doctors and tehy both said it was unecessary.
So the next week i decided to try and visit a chiropractor because I thought they might be able to help. I know my posture is terrible. I'm very tlal and I slouch when I walk, I spend my evenings sat on the floor gaming and I have this...shall we say strange habit. i sit crossed legged ont he floro and sway from side to side. I do this every single day for hours on end. Now this to me would suggest I could've caused my own chest problems, but woudln't an xray have shown this? I've been doing it over 20 years. It's some form of self comfort I suppose. Yes I know it's very weird but I'm not fussed, as a kid I used to do it in the back seta of the car as my folks drove us around so i'm used to weird comments and insults about it.
So I descibred the pains I got to the chiropractor and I'll do the same here:
Sternum pressure
Sternum aches lasting anywhere from 1minute-48 hours
Burning and hot sensation in the centre of the chest
Sharp sudden stabbing pains in a variety of locations (under/near armpits), side of rib (left or right but never at the same time), around my sternum, usually slightly off centre.
Neck aches
Jaw aches
Back aches
Bad shoulder pains which would seemingly go down my left arm (most worrying symptom of all in my opinion)
Another gripe is a lumpy, phlegmy feeling in my thorat that's constantly there. Again is this anxiety related? I don't think it's smoking related as I had it when I quit for 6 months too (plus I didn't have a bad cough or cough up mucus). To be honest I never really have bad coughs from smoking etc. it's quite strange and I don't know how to explain it.
The problem is I get chest pains eveyr single day, and always in different places every few days so it always takes me by surprise. I keep trying to tell myself it's nothing to worry about but I can't seem to switch my worries off. The chiropractor felt my sternum with my fingers and said it was probably Chostochondritus (probably spelt wrong). Again it was this word "probably". I wanted solid facts not probabilities. Anyway I did about 3 months of chiropractice work. She used a rib adjustor as well as clicking various parts of my back and neck. it helped my posture quite a lot. She also explained that Chosot could cause aching pains in the sternum, sudden sharp pains and these pains could radiate through my shoudler and arms.
On my bday I bought a road bike and cycled lots. With this came constant ahces of my shoulders, and constant worry my heart rate was far too quick when exercising and didnt' return to normal etc and that I was going to have a heart attack. I'm often fixated on my heart rate when i'm in bed too which can cause havoc when I try and get to sleep.
After 6 months of quitting smoking I relapsed back with cannabis use again. It was strange, there'd be days I felt less anxious, even though i'd still get pains every day. Honestly these stabbing pains can occur 30+ times a day. Aches can last for hours or days at a time. Everytime a pain occurs, well i'm sure yo ucan guess anxiety hits me like a trian. Then pains return, and more anxiety etc etc a vicious circle.
But after 6 months smoke free the cravings came (bit delayed I know). I caved in, i'm back to smoking 1 or 2 joints every evening after work. Has it made the pains worse? Not really. I think it's caused more GERD but I can't tell. The pains were near enough daily when I wasn't smoking and the situation hasn't changed much since. Now it's never normally all day pain, usually just sudden sharp pains, or dull aches lasting a few hours. I've visited every doctor at our village surgery (4). I've used an ask a doctor website (pay for a response) and spoke to 3 doctors at the hospital. So that's a total of 8 doctors. All saying it's probably anxiety. Why then do I not believe them?
I've read many websites about anxiety. i'm just convincing myself i'm different, convincing myself everytime a chest pain comes that i'm going to have a heart attack in a minute. My mind is running over time when it comes to health anxiety.
I've still got about a months worth of anti d's but have never taken them. not sure why, friends who've used them before say they feel differen,t sometimes happier, soemtimes a little numb. one friend used beta blockers for a number of months and said she just felt stoned. I just feel anti D's mask the true problem, a bit like how I use cannabis. Plus i'm terrible at routine, honestly I can't take pills everyday I know i'll forget or make up some excuse etc. I'm too lazy to wish to go to therapy, plus the cost of it is something I can't afford at the moment.
I'd like to hear peopel's suggestions, but also perhaps some confirmation that people get these pains too. It's all rather horrific at the moment. I just feel rather frayed and life's getting rather tedious with this anxiety. Yes I know weed can cause anxiety, heck I know myself I exhibit most, if not all the signs of ADHD and bi-polar, but again I don't address these issues out of a lazy indifference towards my life.
Thanks for reading.
Ed
I've been meaning to join an anxiety forum for a while now...well since I started getting my initial panic attacks. Soo my story so far, well i'm 26, working full time in a pretty unfulfilling job for the last 7 years but don't have the qualifications or confidence to change. I'm in debt so money worries affect me on a day to day basis. I've smoked cannabis and tobacco the past 6 years and spent a year experimenting with other subtsances but I stopped doign that over 2 years ago as I became unnerved at people's dependence on substance abuse when socializing, partying etc etc.
I had my first panic attack 2 years ago and it was rather terifying. An overwhelming sense of impending doom, fear of a heart attack, rapid heart rate, diszzy feeling, trembling and derealization. I calmed down after about a couple of minutes with my head out the window trying to try slow deepth breaths. I felt a bit worried for about 48 hours but carried on my life being lost in a cloud of cannabis and didn't let it take over. Yes I had paranoia on cannabis and anxiety somewhat but it was never at the forefront of life.
Around this time I had this strange sensation, I stretched rather too much and clicked my sternum. Bit unnerving, btu since then everytime I stretch it clicks on a daily basis. Often I get a tight feeling in the sternum that'd only cease when I click my sternum. It's become a daily thing, sometimes 4 or more times a day. However once I tried to hard to click it and it wouldn't happen. I continued to twist and then suddenly I was overcome with an intense pain. After visiting my chiropractor she said I had slightly dislodged a rib conencting to the stenrum, so nowadays I try and refrani from clicking it as much.
About 10 months ago I had another panic attack. It was then I decided to quit weed. I quit cold turkey and had no issue with cravings, this is because something else was gripping my mind and that was anxiety and especially health anxiety. My dad had a heart attack when he was younger and subsequently quit smoking. Now I'm scared it'll happen to me. Form the day I quit I worried 24/7 about what smoking had done to my health and every ache or pain I experienced would snowball into more worry and fear etc. I was getting (and still am) chest aches daily and it was really worrying me. I started self diagnosing by visiting all manner of websites which in turn filled me with more and more paranoia. In fact the 6 months I spent off weed I was mroe anxious and paranoid than i'd ever been smoking weed. All the smoking buddies stopped visiting me and I just felt hopelessly alone. i did however try to change my sugar filled diet and start cycling, but both didn't last longer than a couple of months (I have little to no staying power).
I visited the village doctors multiple times. They listened to my heart and chest as I breathed in and out and asked about symptoms. Several times I visited just after having a panic attack, and one time I had a panic attack in the doctor's waiting room. The doctor's all put it down to anxiety or a possible minor rib problem. One doctor prescribed me some propanalol and some anti d's (I forget the name)l. I must admit never took the beta blocker. I took the anti d's for about a week but quit taking them so obviously they didn't have time to build up in my system and start working.
The chest pains continued for several weeks and so i went to the hospital. As soon as I got into the door of A&E (ER) I had a panic attack, nearly collapsed and was wheeled onto a ward. I had ECG (or EKG I think americans call it). Also had chest xray, blood and urine smaples. They all came back fine (except there was no mention of the blood/urine results). The tests were thorough but the conclusion, couldn't have ben any more vague. The conclusion being "it's probably anxiety". So I was filled with more worry now. I was advised to possibly see a therapist, start doing CBT or some such. But the worry simply wouldn't go away. My parents thought I should be at ease knowing it wasn't my heart but I was even more worked up without a definitive answer and no matter how many doctor's put it down to anxiety this would only offer 24 hours relief or even less before my brain started taking over convincing myself it was something more sinsinter, cancer, or heart disease etc. All the doctor's said the chances of heart issues at my age (25) were minimal, but no through tests were done other than the ECG and so i'm still left worrying, but I mentioned cardiologists to 2 doctors and tehy both said it was unecessary.
So the next week i decided to try and visit a chiropractor because I thought they might be able to help. I know my posture is terrible. I'm very tlal and I slouch when I walk, I spend my evenings sat on the floor gaming and I have this...shall we say strange habit. i sit crossed legged ont he floro and sway from side to side. I do this every single day for hours on end. Now this to me would suggest I could've caused my own chest problems, but woudln't an xray have shown this? I've been doing it over 20 years. It's some form of self comfort I suppose. Yes I know it's very weird but I'm not fussed, as a kid I used to do it in the back seta of the car as my folks drove us around so i'm used to weird comments and insults about it.
So I descibred the pains I got to the chiropractor and I'll do the same here:
Sternum pressure
Sternum aches lasting anywhere from 1minute-48 hours
Burning and hot sensation in the centre of the chest
Sharp sudden stabbing pains in a variety of locations (under/near armpits), side of rib (left or right but never at the same time), around my sternum, usually slightly off centre.
Neck aches
Jaw aches
Back aches
Bad shoulder pains which would seemingly go down my left arm (most worrying symptom of all in my opinion)
Another gripe is a lumpy, phlegmy feeling in my thorat that's constantly there. Again is this anxiety related? I don't think it's smoking related as I had it when I quit for 6 months too (plus I didn't have a bad cough or cough up mucus). To be honest I never really have bad coughs from smoking etc. it's quite strange and I don't know how to explain it.
The problem is I get chest pains eveyr single day, and always in different places every few days so it always takes me by surprise. I keep trying to tell myself it's nothing to worry about but I can't seem to switch my worries off. The chiropractor felt my sternum with my fingers and said it was probably Chostochondritus (probably spelt wrong). Again it was this word "probably". I wanted solid facts not probabilities. Anyway I did about 3 months of chiropractice work. She used a rib adjustor as well as clicking various parts of my back and neck. it helped my posture quite a lot. She also explained that Chosot could cause aching pains in the sternum, sudden sharp pains and these pains could radiate through my shoudler and arms.
On my bday I bought a road bike and cycled lots. With this came constant ahces of my shoulders, and constant worry my heart rate was far too quick when exercising and didnt' return to normal etc and that I was going to have a heart attack. I'm often fixated on my heart rate when i'm in bed too which can cause havoc when I try and get to sleep.
After 6 months of quitting smoking I relapsed back with cannabis use again. It was strange, there'd be days I felt less anxious, even though i'd still get pains every day. Honestly these stabbing pains can occur 30+ times a day. Aches can last for hours or days at a time. Everytime a pain occurs, well i'm sure yo ucan guess anxiety hits me like a trian. Then pains return, and more anxiety etc etc a vicious circle.
But after 6 months smoke free the cravings came (bit delayed I know). I caved in, i'm back to smoking 1 or 2 joints every evening after work. Has it made the pains worse? Not really. I think it's caused more GERD but I can't tell. The pains were near enough daily when I wasn't smoking and the situation hasn't changed much since. Now it's never normally all day pain, usually just sudden sharp pains, or dull aches lasting a few hours. I've visited every doctor at our village surgery (4). I've used an ask a doctor website (pay for a response) and spoke to 3 doctors at the hospital. So that's a total of 8 doctors. All saying it's probably anxiety. Why then do I not believe them?
I've read many websites about anxiety. i'm just convincing myself i'm different, convincing myself everytime a chest pain comes that i'm going to have a heart attack in a minute. My mind is running over time when it comes to health anxiety.
I've still got about a months worth of anti d's but have never taken them. not sure why, friends who've used them before say they feel differen,t sometimes happier, soemtimes a little numb. one friend used beta blockers for a number of months and said she just felt stoned. I just feel anti D's mask the true problem, a bit like how I use cannabis. Plus i'm terrible at routine, honestly I can't take pills everyday I know i'll forget or make up some excuse etc. I'm too lazy to wish to go to therapy, plus the cost of it is something I can't afford at the moment.
I'd like to hear peopel's suggestions, but also perhaps some confirmation that people get these pains too. It's all rather horrific at the moment. I just feel rather frayed and life's getting rather tedious with this anxiety. Yes I know weed can cause anxiety, heck I know myself I exhibit most, if not all the signs of ADHD and bi-polar, but again I don't address these issues out of a lazy indifference towards my life.
Thanks for reading.
Ed