How do i deal with social phobia,suicidal thoughts?

[Katli]

I'm a young lady terrified of meeting new people,although it is my greatest fear to meet new people it is also my greatest longing,this is driving me up the wall cause i love people but i'm just too shy to socialise,and by this people often take it as me being anti-people,like i want to keep to myself but that is not true.I have attempted suicide several times,i can't stand this fear,i'm my own worst critic,i always think about what i look like,why people are looking at me,is this shyness that obvious to people?i have few friends whom i'm also so nervous and scared when i'm around them,i can't go to parties even if i wanted to cause i'd end up being so anxious and my hands would shake,i would feel like everyone in the room is watching me,waiting for me to embarrass myself.Every morning i wake up with this heavy heart,i just wish i had the guts to just end it all,i have a family and a boyfriend who loves me but it's no use staying alive for them when inside i am completely unhappy.I have been told that i'm a sweet and caring person the only problem is this shyness,i'm young i should be enjoying life to the fullest,but i'm stuck in this shell,i'm on the verge of killing myself,i wish it didn't have to come to this but it's not getting easier.I just don't know what to do

[Dave G]

Suicide is not an option. Think about how much you mean to the people in your life and how hurt they would be if you weren't with them anymore. I have the same problem as you, feeling as if I'm constantly being watched. I find that I am more comfortable when I am with someone I know in a new environment, rather than just entering the lion's den alone. I'm in a new area and sometimes get invited places where I really don't know anyone and am only an aquaintance of the person who invited me. I tend to aviod these situations because I hate feeling like I need to make a good impression on everyone I meet. I put pressure on myself to be social, and be successful at it - when in reality, it's a lot to expect everyone to like me. I'm trying to convince myself that failure is an option and for every person I meet that likes me, there will probably be one who doesn't.

But it sounds like you have what you need to be social. You have the desire to meet people, something that I sometimes lack - but force myself to do. You also have a boyfriend, which is half of the battle if you ask me! You have someone to go places with and not feel alone in social interactions. I felt my most comfortable when I had a girlfriend because I really didn't feel the pressure to impress anyone.

I'm not normally one to preach, but think about how much better we have it then most of the world. Some people would just be happy to have clean water and a loaf of bread but then here we are worrying about talking to people and being liked. In the grand scheme of things, our problems aren't that bad, and they are definitely not life or death issues. Sometimes it does feel like that, believe me I can relate, but that is not the way to go. Just imagine 15 years down the road who you will be. Think about who you were 5 years ago. People constantly change, and although the present seems like it's in slow motion and we'll never get through these hard times - history has proven time and time again that people like us can, and have, overcome situations like these. I would say to message me, but neither of us have 10 posts yet.. but when we get there, feel free to message me and talk about anything that is on your mind. Don't take life for granted. The good times will always outweigh the bad, we just need to make it to those good times!

[alankay]

See you doc and get on an ssri and have some therapy. I used to be similiar but this can be gotten over to a large degree. PM me any time. Alankay

[Katli]

Thank you so much guys,it feels fantastic to know some people out there get my situation,you've just save my life.I will see a Therapist,fight this thing and move on,thank you for the advice,it's not gonna be easy but it's better than being stuck in this emotional rut.And Dave G,i will message you if i stay here long enough,thank you for caring enough to post,it means so much to me and i hope things work out for you too,you seem like a sincere person,so don't be so hard on yourself.

[MainerMikeBrown]

Katli, the thing about suicide is that while you're unhappy at times, the awful depression won't last forever. But if you think I'll never get better, then that's a red flag that your belief system is flawed because bad emotions don't last forever for anyone.

[ladywillow]

Hi Katli, you really need to go talk to your doctor about this. You are not the only person who has gone through this, and there is so much that can be done to make you feel better. When you speak to your doctor be very open and candid. Do not hold anything back. Your doctor is trained to be able to help you through this and point you in the right direction. I hope this helps :)

[Katli]

I hope it works too,i've already started sessions with my therapist its pretty slow but i'm getting there surely.Atleast now i try to look at things differently,i don't easily succumb to self-pitying anymore,i'm slowly starting to see that i can fight this and that suicide will only make things worse,it would be selfish of me.Anyway thanks,i appreciate your advices