I know you've all heard this before

[aloha5]

Hello,

First post. I'll try and keep it short. I start therapy again Thursday. The last time I attended was probably three years ago and I went for 2 years at that time. Saw a psychologist and psychiatrist. The list of drugs I tried at that time were

Effexor
Xanax
Buspar
Lexapro
Zoloft
Celexa
Paxil
Wellbutrin

None of which I found any real relief from and made me anxious to take them. I stopped going because I could deal with the anxiety. It never went away but I could get by with it. Some weeks were better than others. I have a fantastic support system in my husband and family who just want me to feel better. I feel awful for my hubby. We're youngish, have no kids, he's successful, comes from a successful family and here I can't even pull it together to get through a day. Lately the anxiety has been peaking. Over the last 6 months I'd say it's been bad. I've left my job as a physical therapist which has crushed me but I couldn't have continued. I've had headaches, felt nauseous, dizzy, panic attacks, the feeling that you're just kind of watching things happen, not sleeping well at all at night, and cry if I see the wrong commercial. Three and a half months ago was when I started working again. Before then I hadn't worked in probably five years due to anxiety. Eat right, exercise, and starting therapy again. I guess my biggest question is does it ever go away? Or are there people here who still struggle everyday to go to work, who can't get through a day without having to talk themselves off the ledge...but are able to talk themselves off the ledge...just acknowledge that it's part of life to have to do it. Even when I stopped the therapy it was still difficult to get through the day. I was always fatigued because my body is constantly stressed.

Thanks for having a forum to kind of vent and talk things out with like minded folks.

Lily

[anxiousmess]

hiya.

it's just like going around in circles, isnt' it?
i suffer from it myself so i fully understand where you are coming from!

it's good that you've not beat about the bush and that you are starting up therapy again.
as for the meds you have tried. how long were you on each one for? did you give them long enough to kick in. stupid question maybe, but you haven't stated so i don't know.
just going off personal experiences though with my meds. i kept starting and stopping them. thinking that i could just take them when i felt like i needed it and it just failed me. so i quit.
i did find one that did work for me, once i let it kick into my system. only i fell pregnant and had to stop. by the end i thought i was ok and left it.
i've been on and off citalopram(never worked for me - maybe my fault though) for quite some time now - between pregnancies and me thinking i'm all sorted. only to find myself right back at square one again. (haven't had any meds for over 2 years now)

i'm also waiting to go back to therapy as now i am out of the bubble of thinking i can handle it myself. i am wanting to try the method of meds and therapy - only properly this time.

i'd also like to know the answer to your question! i personally think that for some it does go away, but for others i think it's some kind of imbalance and you are stuck with it...just needing to find a way to manage it.

[aloha5]

Aloha,

Yes, it does feel like going in circles. That was put nicely.

No, not a stupid question about the medication. Some and I'd say most I did give them several months. There were a couple though that I couldn't put up with the side effects and weren't on for that long. I'm sure the fact that I had anxiety about taking anti anxiety medication wasn't helping.

How have you been for the past 2 years without medication? Was there ever a time when you didn't feel the anxiety was present?

[anxiousmess]

i know where you are coming from with the side effects! there has been a few i couldn't handle either!

there is not a day that goes by where i am not battling anxiety. there are times i 'feel' as though it isn't there, but it always is.
i suffer from agoraphobia, so when i am locked up in my home i 'feel' as though it isn't there. but if the phone rings or my mind starts thinking(which is always ha) then i can see it again!
the fact i am too scared to go out shows that it is there everyday really lol.

what i do find though is it is more manageable at times. like, i get on dealing with it - i can go to the school and get over the fact i think everybody is staring at me. where as other times, when it is bad like now. if i went to the school i think everybody is staring at me, worry about it, become overly cautious, even when i'm out of the situation my mind replays the event over and over again to the point my head is in my hands and i could just scream to stop the thoughts.
i call them 'spikes' of my anxiety. it's always there, but i can handle it. when i'm spiking i lose all control.
thats why i am wanting to see someone now - i feel as though i am losing complete control as the spikes are becoming more frequent.