smof
01-01-2007, 03:57 PM
Hi all. This is kind of my intro post so hello :)
Bit of background - I have recently started counselling sessions and it's helping me a lot in figuring my head out. Because of this and also a bit of research I've been doing I have managed to break down my neuroses into three nicely simplified chunks - social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (I know these two are very similar but I find it helpful to think of them as slightly different beasts), and recurring depression (majorly SAD-style)
OK so recently I feel like I've come to understand what's going on in my head a bit better. It's still a bit shaky but I'm getting there and it feels good to know I'm starting to get a grip on why I think/feel the way I do.
What I would most like to do right now, my number one goal, is get this communicated to people around me. Now that I've discovered these nice simple terms for what I'm feeling I want to tell my friends and family "I think I have AvPD/S.A. This means I wanna do normal stuff, but I can't, and this is why..." That way next time someone invites me out to a party or whatever and I say no, they will understand why, instead of thinking I just don't want to go. I think it would make such a difference, take a big weight off my mind, if I could just get it out there. Cos I know as long as I keep it secret nothing will change.
Trouble is (and you probably saw this coming) I can't do it. I have tried, sooo many times. I'll be sat with a mate and think "Right, do it now. Just say it. Say one sentence, and they'll ask a question, and go from there, and then it's done." but I just keep thinking about it, getting more and more stressed, and as I'm thinking it my heart starts racing, hands go sweaty, all the usual anxiety symptoms. And even as I'm shouting it in my head, my throat feels like it's glued shut and I physically can't get the words out.
I have kind of done it, once or twice. Over MSN a few times, it's a lot easier then. And once in person, to the guy I trust and feel on the same wavelength with more than anyone else. And every time, as soon as I mention AvPD or Social Anxiety, the response is the same - labels are no good; you read up on that stuff and you can convince yourself you have anything; everybody feels like that sometimes. Basically immediately shooting the idea down. And of course that smacks of rejection to me, so the subject is immediately dropped and I stumble onto something else and feel embarrassed I ever mentioned it.
ANYWAY, my really long, roundabout way of asking a question - have any of you managed to tell people, and make them listen/understand? If so, how? I guess also I'm just curious if anyone else experiences this.
Sorry for rambling on. I've only just found people to talk about this stuff with, so I babble ;)
Thanks,
Bit of background - I have recently started counselling sessions and it's helping me a lot in figuring my head out. Because of this and also a bit of research I've been doing I have managed to break down my neuroses into three nicely simplified chunks - social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (I know these two are very similar but I find it helpful to think of them as slightly different beasts), and recurring depression (majorly SAD-style)
OK so recently I feel like I've come to understand what's going on in my head a bit better. It's still a bit shaky but I'm getting there and it feels good to know I'm starting to get a grip on why I think/feel the way I do.
What I would most like to do right now, my number one goal, is get this communicated to people around me. Now that I've discovered these nice simple terms for what I'm feeling I want to tell my friends and family "I think I have AvPD/S.A. This means I wanna do normal stuff, but I can't, and this is why..." That way next time someone invites me out to a party or whatever and I say no, they will understand why, instead of thinking I just don't want to go. I think it would make such a difference, take a big weight off my mind, if I could just get it out there. Cos I know as long as I keep it secret nothing will change.
Trouble is (and you probably saw this coming) I can't do it. I have tried, sooo many times. I'll be sat with a mate and think "Right, do it now. Just say it. Say one sentence, and they'll ask a question, and go from there, and then it's done." but I just keep thinking about it, getting more and more stressed, and as I'm thinking it my heart starts racing, hands go sweaty, all the usual anxiety symptoms. And even as I'm shouting it in my head, my throat feels like it's glued shut and I physically can't get the words out.
I have kind of done it, once or twice. Over MSN a few times, it's a lot easier then. And once in person, to the guy I trust and feel on the same wavelength with more than anyone else. And every time, as soon as I mention AvPD or Social Anxiety, the response is the same - labels are no good; you read up on that stuff and you can convince yourself you have anything; everybody feels like that sometimes. Basically immediately shooting the idea down. And of course that smacks of rejection to me, so the subject is immediately dropped and I stumble onto something else and feel embarrassed I ever mentioned it.
ANYWAY, my really long, roundabout way of asking a question - have any of you managed to tell people, and make them listen/understand? If so, how? I guess also I'm just curious if anyone else experiences this.
Sorry for rambling on. I've only just found people to talk about this stuff with, so I babble ;)
Thanks,