overcoming social anxiety

[okami1995]

Basically, I've been a victim of bullying my entire life. I finished school a year ago, and now I'm doing some catchup maths work to get into college. However, due to my years of being bullied, I get anxious when around people my own age, give or take a few years. I get nervous and want to get away from them. I get this even when I'm around a parent or something. It's made me feel as if I think I'm ashamed to be seen with my parents, which I'm absolutely not, I have no reason to be ashamed to be seen with them, It's just the social anxiety. This makes me feel bad about myself, because as I said, I have absolutely no reason to be ashamed to be seen with them. I just want to be able to go near people my own age who aren't my friends without feeling insecure and worried. I don't care what they think of me, and I don't care if they think being out with my parents is "lame". Screw what they think, it doesn't effect me. Nonetheless, being near people my own age makes me nervous, and frankly I'm tired of it. How can I get over this social phobia and go out again without feeling anxious every time I see teenagers.

[Dave G]

"I don't care what they think of me, and I don't care if they think being out with my parents is "lame". Screw what they think, it doesn't effect me."

Hey buddy, I feel your pain. I was bullied when I was very young - from elemetary school up until the end of middle school. All I ever wanted was to be "cool". Against the odds, I managed to make friends with a few of the "cool" kids in class in 8th grade and eventually started hangin out with them, getting the girls, and having a great, anxiety free, high school career. Then I moved, lost the people that thought highly of me, and was back at square one - needing to make a name for myself. The anxiety returned, and here I am today - a 24 year old guy in a new area, nervous around anyone I meet because all I care about is making a good impression. Sometime's I tell myself what you tell yourself: "Who cares what they think". But those are just words and thoughts. They aren't my true feelings, and I don't think yours either. Because honestly, what people think of you does mean a lot, in my opinion. I like to be liked. Is that weird? I don't think so... I feel happier when I'm accepted and like by others. This leads to them wanting to spend time with me more, which means no isolation or feelings of being an outcast, which means no anxiety! All I can do is compare myself to you, buddy. I can't really help, because I haven't helped myself yet. All I'm saying is that, for now, what others think does affect us...