self doubting

[anxiousmess]

my anxiety mainly focuses on other peoples opinions of me.
it's starting up real bad over this board.
i feel as though i am doing everyones head in and maybe i should just go. only i know this board is full of people going through the same thing, so i am battling it.

i don't know if it's stupid thoughts or real thoughts. highly confused.

this board really helps me at the same time, so i don't want to go. but i also reallllllllly don't want to be annoying people.

[jessed03]

Dear oh dear, I keep posting in the wrong threads.

I meant to say... You aren't annoying anybody on this forum. The place could use the life you bring to it! It can get quiet sometimes :)

[anxiousmess]

thanx jessed! :) i do this with everything in my life. shut it all out! i can't keep friends because i start worrying that i do their heads! then i just push them away and start making excuses up to not see them.i can't win :(

[Meche]

You are a wonder to this board anxious. I've been in the chat room with you before and you really are a huge comfort to those around - me included. Don't ever feel like you are annoying anybody. You're a gem! xx

[anxiousmess]

thank you meche :)
the anxiety just gets too strong at times, i guess! i just constantly feel like what i am saying is never good enough :( i wish i could stop it! i can't wait to see this psychiatrist so i can finally try and battle this properly! xx

[Meche]

And you will win the battle. I don't claim my anxiety is as bad as some of the stories I have read on this forum (in comparison I'm pretty lucky - not the right word I'd use but you know what I mean) but I know what self doubt and lack of confidence is like. It may take time but you will get there - we all will. xx

[anxiousmess]

mild anxiety to chronic anxiety - it is all as equally as bad i think. i definitely lack in confidence lol no doubt about that. i'm pretty sure i have that BDD, but i don't know if that's my anxiety telling me this haha.
it will be good to watch people on this board 'grow' again. that in itself would be a great motivation tool for others to get better. are you feeling any better? xx

[MainerMikeBrown]

Some people think they'll feel better about themselves if everyone else likes them. However, that's not true. Instead, you have to start liking yourself first.

[Meche]

I'm not doing too bad. My days are getting better but it's always something. I've had a bad on/off headache since Sat and I'm not sure it it's migraine or tension. What I do know is that it's starting to really piss me off. It's mainly centred around my right eye, going to the base of the back of my head and down my neck. Also getting aches in my back. I'm certain it's related to anxiety and my RSI but at the back of my mind I'm thinking 'brain tumour'... which is causing me to feel anxious. Honestly, one of these days I'll wake up and feel healthy - soon I hope!!!!! xx

[anxiousmess]

mike, i think you are completely right. how i would learn to like myself is beyond me - maybe therapy will help get me there :)

meche, could it not be eye strain? or maybe even your sinuses playing up?
it has to go eventually so hopefully it won't be too much longer for you!! try not to think too much of it though. i know i can practically bring on a headache just by thought lol xx