Fed Up!

[Meche]

Title says it all - I'm fed up with feeling fed up. Won't go into detail (posted other threads about my anxiety) but making a long story short I developed sudden anxiety 3 weeks ago and suffered all the classic symptoms. I'm feeling much better in that I haven't had any attacks for over a week but I have been left feeling 'not me'! I have a constant nervousness about me, at times I feel spaced out and nauceous, constant headaches and a feeling of being very detached. I find that keeping busy and carrying on my daily routine helps but I have to stop at sometime and then I feel worse. It has left me feeling physically and mentally exhausted and I just want it to go away. I want to wake up looking forward to my day and go to bed feeling relaxed and content but it's always 'something'! I can't get my head round why I am feeling this way and I've started to dwell on things that have possibly happened in my life and situations that at the time maybe weren't such big issues but in my subconcious have manifested itself into how I am feeling lately. I don't know but I want to get myself out of this vicious circle. I want to feel like me again!

[anxiousmess]

i'm with you on this. i have recently just had what i would call a 'spike' in my anxiety. after about 3 weeks of what felt like me losing the plot. i'm finally coming back down to earth again.
although, i have suffered from anxiety for years, i still don't think i fully understand it.
i'm always anxious, but like i say, something must've triggered me and i was diagnosing myself with paranoid personality, posting on forum after forum trying to find out what was wrong with me. then i came across this site and it twigged - it's just anxiety! that in itself has calmed me down.

the only thing i can think of is maybe the same is happening to you. like you had your anxiety attack - physically, but it hasn't switched off mentally. if you know what i mean!
like i say, i don't fully understand it yet.
maybe go to the doctors on monday just for a chat. i hope you get it under control soon as i know how horrible it is. :)

[Meche]

Thanks for replying anxiousmess. I totally understand where you're coming from. I think you're right in that I haven't switched myself off from it. Those attacks were the most frightened I have ever been in my life and I think it has kind of left a mental scar - if that makes sense. I am so nervous of it happening again and maybe that is what I can't get past. I have never admitted this to anybody (not even here) but I think deep down through all my life I have always been slightly anxious but I have always been very good at hiding/denying it. I'm not an emotional retard (if I can use that word) but I've always been very good at hiding my feelings and pretending that I am ok when deep down I probably haven't been. Nothing majorly traumatic has ever happened to me - I think maybe an onslaught of lifes 'happenings' have caught up with me and I find myself where I am today. Being here helps me so much - I feel like I can open up to people who aren't going to judge me and I feel less alone. xx

[anxiousmess]

well that is where the problem lies with anxiety. especially for me. i get very anxious about getting anxious and that does my head in. just a vicious circle.
if you aren't comfortable with going to the doctors then maybe you could just use this board as a way of expressing whatever worries/concerns you have. even if no one replies, it isn't just sat there in your head for you to sit and question it over and over - which in the end brings on anxiety.
you don't need to have a major event happen in your life for you to suffer from anxiety - or any form of illness for the matter. the good thing is, is that you recognise it and you are addressing the issue. it's a starting point to move forward :)

[Meche]

I've been to the doctors 4 times in the space of 2 weeks and A&E once because I was so freaking out so much :rolleyes:. That's more times than I have ever been in 10-15 years! I'm not an unhealthy person and when if I do feel unwell I get over it on my own. I'm not uncomfortable going to the doctors but I don't think they can help me anymore than they already have. They prescribed diazepam to help me sleep and they were great for a few days but they made me feel 'fuzzy' so I stopped taking them. I'm not on any medication and getting through this with shear willpower! I had blood tests because they thought I may have hyperthyroidism (a common symptom is sudden panic/anxiety) but they came back clear. No - I have to deal with this on my own. Well, not on my own but I'm the only person who can put this right and with the right support I know I can get back on track. I need to make changes in my life (I've known that for a long time now) but it's easier said than done. Thank you so much for listening and offering advise - I appreciate it more than you know. xx

[anxiousmess]

you're very welcome! and good luck!! you're not alone - just remember that :)